


Changed Realities

by Blue_Night



Category: Stargate - All Series, Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bug!John, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, First Kiss, First Time, Iratus-mutated Sheppard, Love Confessions, Multi, Quantum Mirror, Same Gender Relationships, Soul Bond, Wraith
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-27 21:22:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 67,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2707214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Night/pseuds/Blue_Night
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney McKay and John Sheppard stumble by accident into another universe and will be stuck there for three months. Now, they have to deal with the differences between this strange universe and their own reality, especially when it comes to the special kind of relationships there. Elizabeth Weir is still alive and is together with Teyla Emagan. In their own reality, Rodney is together with Jennifer, but he has to face the truth that in the other Atlantis, he is the soul-mate of the hazel-eyed Lt. Colonel Sheppard and that everything is far from what he knows. Just when he thinks that it can't get worse, Elizabeth asks him to play the role of John's soul-mate for the three months they will be stuck in the other reality...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Another Reality

**Author's Note:**

> In my series 'The Pegasus Alliance' I have an encounter with another reality and the idea to write another WIP about an alternate universe came up several weeks ago. After writing about my special 'hearing impaired John' and his 'soul-mate' Rodney, I decided to write another story about John and Rodney and to write the story with the alternate reality with them as a couple.
> 
> This WIP has no beta-backup, if there are any huge mistakes, please let me know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How it all begins: Rodney and John play with unknown Ancient technology they should better have left alone and stumble into another reality...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to my wonderful beta for doing the beta-reading after the posting, although she already has so much to read from my other stories! The other chapters will be corrected after she had had time to read them, too.

“How could I know that this is a quantum-mirror?” Dr. Rodney McKay, the genius from the Atlantis expedition complained, gesturing nervously with his hands in the air.

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard crossed his arms over his chest, glaring with narrowed eyes at the blue-eyed scientist. “How. Could. You. Not. Know. It?” he growled deep in his throat.

Rodney rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on, Sheppard. You wanted to try it, too!”

Sheppard just continued to stab him with his glares. “Yeah, I agreed to it, because _you_ said it would be _harmless_!” he accused his teammate. “Because _you_ said that nothing bad would happen!”

Rodney sighed, waving impatiently with his hands at his team-leader and normally best friend.

“Yes, yes, yes, I said it would be harmless. We never found a quantum-mirror in Pegasus! It looks different from the one I know. It just looked like a mirror! Now, let me work, so we can get back to our own reality!” he snapped and after one more moment of glaring at the genius and another annoyed growl, Sheppard made himself comfortable on the ground of the small chamber, crossing his arms over his chest again and watching McKay with reproachful hazel eyes.

Rodney turned away from the angry glance making him even more nervous than he already was, murmuring something unintelligible about hidden chambers with mirrors that looked harmless, but turned out to be anything but harmless.

He had strolled with Sheppard through their city, both of them bored and curious if they could find something interesting in one of the corridors they hadn't had time to check properly before, although they had lived in Atlantis for more than five years now.

Then, they had found this small chamber and played around with the buttons of one of the consoles placed near the 'harmless' mirror.

Their good luck had run out at that moment, there had been a bright light shooting from the mirror in their direction and after being blind and dazed for few seconds, they had found themselves in the very same chamber again, but it looked slightly different now. Their own chamber had been rather dusty being abandoned and forgotten for such a long time, this chamber though was clean and they had found a rucksack lying on the floor. Sheppard had checked the rucksack and to his surprise, it was the rucksack of a special 'Lt. Colonel John Sheppard'.

Rodney had instantly known what that meant. The 'harmless' mirror wasn't harmless at all – it was a quantum-mirror that had put them into another reality. Now, he had to find a way back into their own reality which wasn't as easy as others, being not familiar with this topic, might think.

There were countless realities different from their own out there and to find the right one would probably take hours, if not days or weeks. Rodney considered the consoles, trying to remember what they had done as they had been 'playing around' with the buttons before the mirror had 'beamed' them into this strange universe.

“How long do we have until the 'cascading effect' sets in?” Sheppard's voice broke in on his musings, making him flinch. Rodney turned around, scowling at the colonel sitting comfortably on the ground, his legs crossed, as if he was about to have a nice picnic on a green meadow.

“I don't know! Hours probably, maybe one or two days? If you let me work instead of asking me stupid questions, we might have a chance to get back before we have to find out how long it takes before the effect will set in!” he snapped and John narrowed his eyes, scowling back.

“Of course, McKay,” he said, flatly, closing his eyes after another intense glare. He leaned back against the wall, ignoring the scientist and after a few seconds, his breath was slow and even.

Rodney gaped at him in disbelief. “This can't be real! He's sleeping!” he cried out, offended and stunned.

“No, I'm not, McKay. But I would like to, so stop keeping me awake and concentrate on taking us back where we belong instead, please,” Sheppard answered, not bothering to open his eyes again, his voice sounding a little bit slurred as if he already had been half asleep.

“Of course, Colonel!” Rodney snarled, truly offended now, turning to his console again and inwardly complaining about soldiers in common and one soldier in special, while he focused on his work again, Sheppard's slight snoring the only background music breaking the complete silence in the little chamber.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“Somebody's coming!” Sheppard was up on his feet within the blink of an eye, his warning voice startling Rodney, who had been totally absorbed in his work, reading the data on the screen.

“W-w-what?” Rodney looked up from the computer he had been working on.

“Somebody's coming!” Sheppard repeated and Rodney could see that the colonel unconsciously tried to grab the weapon he hadn't taken with him as they had decided to explore this special corridor. “Crap!” Sheppard muttered under his breath as he realized that they were unarmed. He stepped back until he was covering Rodney with his own body and Rodney swallowed, touched once more by Sheppard's brave behavior. Of course, the colonel would have done that for everyone else, too, but he was touched, nonetheless.

They stared at the door, listening to the voices coming closer and Rodney tensed as the door suddenly slid to the side with a silent hiss. The young woman in the doorway smiled widely as she noticed them, a big man with long dread-locks and a young Marine standing behind her.

“Ah, John, Rodney! We've been searching for you for hours! Where have you been for so long?” Teyla asked, but then, she stopped, frowning. “You are not our John and Rodney,” she drawled after one long minute of watching them closely and it was a clear that this had been a statement and not a question.

Sheppard narrowed his eyes. “How can you be so sure about that after only one minute?” Sheppard inquired, curiously and Rodney knew that the colonel was smiling his usual charming crooked smile, although he couldn't see his face.

Teyla snorted. “First, by the horrible sweater Rodney is wearing. Our Rodney threw it in the trash almost one year ago. I was a witness to that heroic act. Second, because the hair of our John was much shorter this morning than your hair is and it can't be that it grew to this length within only few hours. But, third and most of all is the fact that I can't feel the soul-bond between you two,” Teyla counted, crossing her arms before her chest and Rodney could see Ronon behind her tensing.

“My sweater isn't horrible, at all!” Rodney couldn't help but defend his clothing. “It's warm and comfortable and...” he snapped, feeling truly insulted, because 'his' Teyla had never said anything bad about his wonderful sweater.

“And it's a terrible orange color,” Sheppard finished the sentence and Rodney went silent, pouting, growling something not very friendly.

Sheppard ignored him and focused on the other Teyla instead. “What do you mean with 'soul-bond'?” he demanded, his voice impassive, but Rodney was sure that the hazel-eyed colonel felt as confused as he himself felt by the expression Teyla had used.

Teyla sighed. “You better come with me to Elizabeth, she will explain to you everything you need to know,” she only said, turning around.

Ronon waved with his weapon in their direction and Rodney knew that they had no other chance than to obey and come with the three of them. If the data he had found was right, then they would be stuck here for quite some time. If his other suspicion was right, too, they didn't have to fear the 'cascading effect', because the Rodney McKay and the John Sheppard from this reality probably had used the mirror as well, maybe willingly, maybe by accident and now were stuck in the reality where 'his' Sheppard and he himself had come from. Rodney knew that the feared effect normally only set in if their alternate selves were in the same reality and this didn't seem to be the case, judging by Teyla's words.

“Elizabeth is alive?” he asked, forgetting that she had insulted his beloved sweater, completely, and Teyla shot him a brief sidelong glance. “Of course, she is alive. She is my soul-mate. Your Elizabeth died?” she asked, suspiciously.

Sheppard shot Rodney a warning look. “Yes, unfortunately. But, we know by experiences that the countless realities oftentimes are very different from each other,” he replied, shooting another warning glare at Rodney to stay silent.

Teyla pursed her lips. “I see. Yes, we made the same experiences. Who is the civilian leader of your reality, then?” she demanded.

Sheppard hesitated, but then, shrugged his shoulders. “Mr. Richard Woolsey from the IOA,” he admitted and Teyla pulled a face.

“I see,” she only repeated, but Rodney could tell by her expression that she didn't like 'her' Richard Woolsey.

Rodney sighed, This was going to be a very 'interesting' stay here and when the data had been right, there was nothing he could do to make them go back to their own reality earlier.

The sudden thought of Jennifer made him sigh again and he mused about their counterparts while he trotted beside John through the corridors of the Ancient's city that looked like their own city and yet seemed to be so different from their own home.

John shot him a concerned look as he heard him sigh and Rodney tried to smile, but he knew that it probably was more a grimace than a smile. He suppressed the third sigh within one minute and followed Teyla, Ronon and the Marine through the city, glad that at least, he had Sheppard by his side.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Rodney stared at Dr. Elizabeth Weir in disbelief. “You're kidding me, right? You can't be serious? All of you are in a relationship with someone of the same gender?” he asked, incredulously, his voice getting higher and higher until it was only a high pitch and squeal. “No, no, no, this can't be true! You must be joking! How do you reproduce then and have children?”

Rodney began to laugh, bending forward on his chair standing before Elizabeth's desk, because she clearly had made a joke. It simply couldn't be true what she had said. Every single person in this horrible universe being together with a 'soul-mate' of the same gender? This had to be a joke, because something like this was simply ridiculous. It just couldn't be the truth.

Rodney desperately tried to catch his breath, wiping away his tears of laughter. He looked up when he noticed the dead silence in Weir's office. Elizabeth frowned at him, obviously not amused about his burst of laughter, Teyla standing behind her seemed to be rather upset, scowling at him and Sheppard sitting beside him watched him with a strange expression on his face, frowning too and not laughing, at all.

“Every woman has to give birth to at least one child and every man has to give his seed at least two times during their lives. This can be a donation; or two couples decide to lie together to do so,” Elizabeth explained, coolly. “The children will be raised by the couple that decides to raise them or they will be raised by the female couples if it was a anonymous donation. Sometimes, the two couples decide to raise them together.”

Rodney blinked, staring at her, stunned and speechless, as realization slowly sank in. “What an odd place to live in,” he muttered under his breath and Sheppard shot him a strange and warning look.

“But, Sheppard and I are not 'soul-mates'! We are only friends and teammates!” he confirmed, almost yelling and Sheppard sitting in the chair next to his own flinched slightly. Rodney cleared his throat, trying to calm down and continued in a normal voice. “Sorry, but our reality is far from this one. I'm together with our doctor, Jennifer Keller; and same-gender-relationships are the exception, not the rule.”

Elizabeth smiled, mockingly. “Then, I should warn you. Our doctor Keller is mated with Katie Brown, our botanist,” she said and all Rodney could do now was to gape at her in horror and with his mouth hanging open, unable to speak. When he heard a strangled cough beside him, he finally managed to turn his head and glare reproachfully at Sheppard who desperately tried not to laugh.

When Sheppard noticed his look, he began to chuckle. “Oh, come on, McKay, this is truly funny! Your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend being soul-mates!” Now, it was the colonel's turn to bend forward and cross his arms before his stomach to ease the pain of his breathless laughter.

“This. Is. Not. Funny. At. All!!” Rodney yelled at him, furiously. “This is not funny, because we will be stuck here for at least three months!” he shouted and his eyes were shooting pale-blue fire at the man sitting beside him.

Sheppard stopped laughing, immediately, snapping his mouth shut and looking at Rodney with narrowed eyes.

“What did you say?” he asked and Elizabeth nodded her head.

“Yes, I would like to know that, too,” she insisted and Rodney rubbed his forehead in the attempt to ease the horrible headache that was creeping into his head from the nape of his neck.

He drew in a shaky breath.

“I found some interesting data in the chamber. The Ancient Valor who experimented with the quantum-mirror knew about the problems with the countless realities and the difficulties to come back and he and his counterpart created a mirror that is connected to only three other realities. Each of them can only be reached if the mirror of the other reality will be activated at the same time and – most important; if there is a special happening at the same time; because there must be a large eruption in the corona of the sun shining on this world, otherwise, we won't be able to go back in our reality and our own time. After being stuck on Earth for months with the city, we returned to the planet where Atlantis had been sleeping for ten thousand years, because the replicators weren't a threat any longer and because we could build an alliance with several Hives. I don't know if your Atlantis is still on the same planet where it was, but if it is, than the 'sun-calendar' with the data about these special eruptions Valor left us tells me that the next eruption we need to go back will be in three months. We have to wait until then, before we can return to our Atlantis. And if 'your' McKay is as clever as I am, which I do believe, then he surely has found that out by now, as well.”

Rodney went silent, breathing heavily. For a while, there was only complete silence and Rodney could feel three pairs of eyes watching him, thoughtfully.

Then, Elizabeth slowly nodded her head. “Our Atlantis never left the planet where we found her. We were able to defeat the replicators before it became too bad. We had found four ZPMs before the replicators came and could destroy them with a special replicator our Rodney had created with our allied Wraith Commander Todd before they could destroy our city.”

She considered both of them for a while. “All right. Then, we will have to wait for three more months, before we can try to send you back and get our Rodney and our John back. The only problem is that it won't do any good if anybody else will find out about their disappearance. You must understand that they are highly respected here in our reality; and not only because of their personalities, but also because of their strong soul-bond. Many people from other planets, either allies or trading with us will turn their backs on us if they'll ever find out. So, I have to ask you to play their roles during your stay here. You have to play their role and behave as if you were soul-mates, too, otherwise, you will put our Atlantis into serious danger!” she stated, firmly and Rodney gaped at her again.

“You can't be serious!” he finally stammered. “Sheppard and I are friends, nothing more! You can't force us into such a weird 'soul-mates-relationship', just because your McKay and Sheppard are a couple. Sheppard, you really could say something!” he complained, looking at him for help, but to his surprise, John avoided his eyes, looking out of the window behind Elizabeth's back without really seeing something. “John!” Rodney tried once more, but John only shrugged his shoulders in a helpless gesture.

When he eventually turned his head to look at the scientist, Rodney couldn't tell what he was thinking, because Sheppard's face was a stern and impassive mask. “I guess that we won't have another choice, Rodney,” he said, slowly and with a strange undertone in his voice. “Besides, Elizabeth didn't asked us to become mates, she only asked us to play a role and to behave as if we were soul-mates. I'm sure that we'll only have to behave like this in front of their allies and not here in Atlantis, right?” he looked questioningly at the woman with the brown locks.

Elizabeth hesitated.

“It would be good, if only few people here would know the truth,” she said after one moment. “So, you should behave here in Atlantis the same way when others are around. I don't want them to become nervous, it could threaten everything we have reached so far.”

Sheppard bit his lip. “Okay, you have a point, I guess. We will try to fool the others and behave as if we were soul-mates.” He turned to Rodney to look at him. “Do you think you can do this, Rodney?” he asked, his voice giving nothing away of his own thoughts and feelings.

Rodney stared at him. Sheppard really had asked him to play the role of being his soul-mate for at least three months, in front of all the counterparts to the people he knew, especially 'his' girlfriend Jennifer and his ex-girl-friend Katie. Rodney sat there, frozen in place, unable to do anything else than just look at the hazel-eyed colonel in disbelief.


	2. Thoughts And Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John are stuck in another reality for three months and have to settle in there. Rodney has a hard time now, because he is supposed to play the role of John's soul-mate what threatens to tear down the walls he has built around his suppressed feelings for his team-leader and best friend. At first he has to deal with settling in in the quarters of their counterparts and spend the nights with John in their bed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter probably will take a while longer, because I have to update my other WIPs, but, I try to hurry, I promise. Rodney is a great character to explore and I have fun to write him in another way than I do in my series 'Silent Sounds'. This story has nothing to do with this special series and Rodney isn't as self-confident and sure about his feelings as he is in the series. I always had the impression when I watched the original show that Rodney is in love with John, but tries hard to suppress his feelings, focusing on his favorite blonde and intelligent women instead. This story is my way to explore this impression I had gotten over the years.
> 
> It would be great to get feedback from you, either if you agree with me or not and also if there are some big mistakes, because I might write a lot fics in English, but sometimes, it's still hard to express myself in a different language than my own and I don't want to arouse mistakes because of my (hopefully understandable) ignorance of some things. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

Rodney crossed his arms over his chest, leaning against the closed door of 'their' quarters.

“I can't believe that you talked me into this!” he complained, his voice rough and hoarse from his exhaustion and confusion. His legs felt as if they were to weak to support his weight any longer, he was slightly sick and he had a horrible headache.

John only shrugged, walking around, curiously and in a casual and nonchalant manner. “I didn't talk you into anything, McKay. As I told you before, we have no other choice. You were the one telling us that we are stuck here for at least three months and we have to make the best out of it,” he remarked, dryly and unmoved.

Rodney watched him opening and closing the drawers and doors of the cupboards and wardrobes and he frowned. “What are you doing, Sheppard? You just can't open all the cupboards and wardrobes! We don't own them!” he said, narrowing his eyes.

Sheppard turned around to him, considering him with a deadpan expression on his handsome features. Rodney uncomfortably shifted his weight from one foot to the other as the hazel-green eyes seemed to look right into him just to the bottom of his soul.

“Why not?” the colonel finally asked. “These quarters will be our 'quarters' for the next three months! Just imagine someone came to visit us and we had to search for the cups and the plates,” Sheppard said, continuing to open the drawers.

“We won't have visitors!” Rodney snapped, embarrassed and bewildered, but he knew that Sheppard was right. They hadn't brought anything with them, except for the clothes they wore on their bodies and they had to use the things of their counterparts, no matter if he liked the thought of 'spying' on them or not. He sighed and tried to calm his bad conscience with the thought that they didn't do it just because of their desire for sensation, but because they simply had no other choice.

Sheppard shrugged his shoulders again. “How can you say that? Are you able to look into the future all of a sudden? Elizabeth expects us to play the role of the military leader and the head scientist of her Atlantis. I'm sure that the other John and Rodney have had visitors. You better get used to the thought that people will come around for a chat, a beer or something like that,” he stated, crossing the room to look out of the balcony-door.

“I have to admit that these quarters are much better than mine. Maybe, I should change my quarters after our return,” he mused, thoughtfully and all Rodney could do was stare at him again, stunned, because Sheppard had never had thought about changing his quarters before.

When he noticed the play of the muscles of Sheppard's back as the colonel raised the arm to lean it against the window, he blinked, confused, because he felt an odd flutter in his stomach and he had to clear his throat against the sudden dryness.

“What's wrong with your quarters?” he inquired, incredulously. John didn't turn around, shrugging his shoulders for the third time. “Nothing. Just a thought,” he replied, pushing himself away from the window with his hand and turning around to Rodney.

“You have to dress with some of the other Rodney's clothes,” he said, pointing at Rodney's beloved orange-colored sweater. “Teyla said that 'you' finally got rid of this – thing and it would arouse suspicions if you suddenly wear it again.”

Rodney pursed his lips, wrapping his arms firmly around his midsection. “I won't throw my sweater in the trash, no way!” he said, quietly, but determinedly and Sheppard sighed with impatience.

“I didn't say that, McKay. You wore it when we first met, and I have to admit that I like your sweater somehow, even though one has to get used to the color. You can put it in the wardrobe where no one else will see it. I just said that you can't wear it for the next three months.” Rodney reluctantly nodded his head, feeling touched by the unexpected confession that Sheppard liked this special clothing. He remembered their first encounter as if it had just been yesterday, but he was surprised that John apparently remembered that day as much as he did.

The door-bell rang and Sheppard crossed the room to open the door. Rodney moved to the side, but he didn't bother to open the door, because he didn't feel like dealing with some of the strange counterparts of the people he knew and cared for at the moment. Sheppard shot him a sidelong glance, but seemed to sense his distress, because he said nothing, just opened the door, smiling reassuringly at him.

“Ah, Teyla, that's really nice from you to bring us something to eat. We'd rather not eat in the cafeteria tonight. We need a little bit more time to settle in,” Sheppard said, gifting the Athosian woman standing with a tray before the door with his well-known charming and flirty smile. Rodney felt a slight sting in his stomach as he watched Sheppard smiling at her and he frowned. He had never felt this way when John had smiled at 'their' Teyla and he didn't understand at all why Sheppard's behavior bothered him right now.

Teyla smiled back, being all polite and charming herself. “I thought so, John,” she answered, stepping into the quarters. John closed the door and took the tray from her to place it on the table in the middle of the large room. Their counterparts obviously had used them as a living and a dining -room, at the wall opposite to the door stood a comfortable couch with two armchairs and a coffee-table. At the other side of the coffee-table was a large TV placed on another small table and it looked comfortable and invitingly, meant to spend evenings snuggled close on the couch watching a game or a nice film.

The large wooden table in the middle of the room with four chairs at each long side and one chair at each short side of the table made clear that the other John and Rodney most likely had had guests oftentimes.

“The official version is that you were locked in into a storage-room somewhere in the basement without radio-contact. I will pick you up tomorrow before breakfast and give you after wards a review of the most important things. I'm afraid that you have to 'learn' a lot about our Atlantis off by heart, but Elizabeth, Ronon, Major Lorne and me myself will help you with that. Evan is Ronon's soul-mate and Elizabeth decided to tell him the truth. He is your XO and has to know what's going on to help you,” Teyla explained, turning to the door again. “You should eat and then, go to bed, so you will be well rested tomorrow,” she recommended and Sheppard nodded his head.

“Of course, Teyla, you're right. Thank you for the dinner, it smells delicious,” he said, friendly, smiling at her again, gratefully and sincerely.

Teyla grinned. “Elizabeth always complained about my cooking skills and she was a very strict teacher, I can tell you. We cooked it together for you.” She shot a brief glance in Rodney's direction. “We took care of your allergies, Rodney,” she added and Rodney still standing at the wall next to the door mumbled something that probably could be taken as a “Thank you.” He knew that he was impolite and he forced himself to smile thankfully at her. Teyla wasn't responsible for his current state, this was only his own fault and he couldn't blame anyone else for having played with buttons he better should have left alone.

“I'm sorry, Teyla,” he said and this time, his smile was honest and sincere.

Teyla smiled gently at him. “You don't have to be, Rodney. I know how hard it must be for you, much harder than it already is for us. Don't worry, it's okay. You will feel better after a good night's sleep,” she comforted him and Rodney sighed and leaned back against the wall.

He watched the hazel-eyed colonel accompany her to the door and he felt another sting in his abdomen. He felt exhausted and lost and he craved to see Jennifer – his Jennifer. He rubbed his forehead again and sighed with relief as Teyla had said her goodnight and left the quarters. He really had no clue how he should be able to go through this and play the role of Sheppard's 'soul-mate' for three whole months.

He flinched when he felt a hand on his arm, realizing that he must have closed his eyes. John stood very close to him, considering him. “We will get through this, together, Rodney,” he said, his voice surprisingly gentle. “We have friends here and somehow, we will find a way to do this, I promise you,” he assured him and Rodney felt the weight pressing down on his shoulders ease a little bit. He smiled back, the first smile he had been able to since their unexpected arrival in this strange universe. “Thank you, John,” he replied, quietly, following John to the table.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“You will sleep on the couch!” Rodney stated, firmly and grimly. “I can't sleep on the couch without having a horrible neck-ache the next morning, so you will be the one sleeping on the couch! You are military, you're used to sleep on uneven and uncomfortable ground!”

They had eaten their meal in companionable silence, both of them too exhausted and too much lost in their own thoughts to talk to each other and after cleaning the table, they had moved to the bedroom. It was obvious that this king-size bed was meant for two persons, but Rodney almost got into a panic by the thought of having to sleep with John Sheppard in the same bed, especially in this one. He knew that he was probably very childish and selfish, but the words had come out of his mouth before he had been able to stop them.

Sheppard narrowed his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest and Rodney swallowed as he noticed the anger on the handsome face. “Do you really expect me to sleep on the couch for three months?” he made sure, his voice, low and with a dangerous undertone.

Rodney vigorously nodded his head. “Yes. We can't sleep in the same bed! I'm together with Jennifer!” he almost shouted and the hazel-eyed colonel frowned.

“No one said anything about sex, McKay. I was talking about actually sleeping!” he drawled. “If you don't want to share this nice and large bed with me, than please, have your way and sleep on the couch! I might be military, but I won't sleep on the couch when there's a comfortable bed within reach, more than big enough for two persons!” he said, as firmly and determinedly as Rodney had been and Rodney could feel himself blushing, furiously.

Of course, John Sheppard would never even think of having sex with him. The hazel-eyed colonel with the handsome features and the crooked charming smile probably could have everyone, every woman he wanted and probably even every man he might want, even the ones who considered themselves not as interested in men. It was stupid to think that Sheppard could have only the slightest interest in him.

Rodney swallowed, cleared his throat and shot him an almost pleading glance. “We could take turns,” he suggested when he head found his tongue again. “I sleep this week in the bed and you the next week and so on...” his voice trailed off as he saw Sheppard only shaking his head.

“Every two days?” Rodney desperately searched for something to convince the stubborn colonel to agree to his wish not to sleep together in the same bed. He didn't know himself why he felt so nervous by the thought. He had slept next to Sheppard in his sleeping bag countless times, they even had slept together in one bed on a mission, but this had been with Ronon and Major Lorne lying in the other bed in the same room on a mission, due to the fact that their hosts hadn't had more beds.

But this bed was the bed where their counterparts slept together – where they surely had made love for so many times, passionate and tender love and Rodney just didn't know how he was supposed to sleep in this special bed that held so much memories of the other John and Rodney with 'his' John for three months.

He had never allowed himself to think of Lt. Colonel Sheppard in that way, had never allowed himself to consider him as anything else than just his team-leader and best friend, had never allowed his feelings for the hazel-eyed colonel to come to the surface and had suppressed them as forcefully as he was able to.

And now he stood there, staring at this bed and just the sight of this bed threatened to tear down the walls he had built to keep his feelings for John Sheppard at bay.

Sheppard shook his head again. “You can do what you want, McKay. I'm really tired and I will sleep in this nice and comfortable bed. You can choose the side if you want to, but I won't sleep on the couch. You better get used to this thought.”

He looked Rodney straight in the eyes, his arms still crossed over his chest and Rodney knew that he had lost the battle.

He sighed, turning his head to look at the bed, struggling hard to stay calm and hide his emotions from his best friend. The bed stood at one side of the room at the wall, a small bedside table at each side. Opposite the bed was a large window with curtains made of a garment looking like velvet and at the right side of the bed was a door probably leading to the bathroom.

He himself stood in the doorway to the bedroom next to the small chamber between the living-room and the bedroom that was meant as a changing room, because there also was a big wardrobe at one wall of the chamber, together with two chairs. Rodney had to admit that their counterparts really had very comfortable quarters, much more comfortable than his own or John's small quarters in their own city.

“The left side, next to the door,” he finally said, reluctantly. He expected Sheppard to grin, because it was pretty obvious that he had chosen the side next to the exit, but the hazel-eyed man only nodded his head, smiling friendly at him.

“Very well. Do you want to use the bathroom first?” he offered and Rodney nodded, rushing to the door and closing it firmly behind him as if he had to escape someone.

He locked the door and leaned against it for one moment with closed eyes, breathing heavily as if he had run a marathon. He inhaled and exhaled carefully, fighting against the sick feeling in his stomach. When he felt well enough to open his eyes again, he gasped in surprise. The bath was much larger than he first had thought and his eyes were glued to the big whirlpool at one of the walls and a rather large shower cubicle beside the pool.

Of course, his counterpart certainly appreciated a bath in a nice whirlpool as much as he himself did. Maybe, there would be a chance to take a bath when they had settled in, because right now, he was too tired to do anything else than rush through his bedtime routine. He opened the cupboard hanging over the sink and found a new toothbrush he used before relieving himself and washing his hands and his face. He dried his face with a fresh towel he had found in another cupboard and took a deep breath before he unlocked the door again.

Sheppard was nowhere in sight, but he heard soft murmur coming from the living-room, most likely from the TV and Rodney almost fell to the ground with relief as he realized that the colonel had left the bedroom to give him the privacy he needed so badly right now.

Rodney gratefully stripped down to his underwear and crawled into the bed. Tomorrow, he would check the other Rodney's clothes and look for a pajama, but he was too tired to do it now. All he wanted to do was to sleep, preferably before Sheppard came back into the room and looked at him with his incredible hazel eyes.

He lay down on the mattress as close to the edge of his side as he was able to without actually fall out of the bed, pulling the soft and fragrant covers over his head. He was still tense and close to a panic-attack and he didn't know if he would be able to sleep, but the slumber of exhaustion overcame him the minute he closed his eyes. Rodney relaxed for the first time on this horrible day, completely, slipping gratefully into the smooth darkness of a dreamless sleep.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

When Rodney woke up, it was still dark outside and for one moment, he didn't know where he was. It was warm and nice and he couldn't remember the last time he had felt so safe and relaxed. He sighed, contentedly, snuggling deep under the warm and soft covers, close to the tempting body that was lying next to him, curled around him like a fragrant protective wall.

Rodney's eyes flew open and he froze underneath his cover.

Tempting. Body. Curled. Around. Him. - Sheppard!

He stared at the face on the pillow close to him. He must have moved to the middle of the large bed during his sleep and now lay next to the colonel, was even sharing one pillow with him. Sheppard was sound asleep, his breath slow and even, almost inaudible. The tension Rodney noticed on the handsome male features so oftentimes during the day when Sheppard was awake and doing his job had faded during Sheppard's sleep, leaving him open and vulnerable to the person who was watching him, closely – Rodney. He looked much younger than he did when he was awake and cautiously hiding his thoughts and his feelings behind a mask, using his boy-like charm to cover his true emotions.

Rodney unconsciously curled his hands into fists to keep himself from stroking the stubbly cheek, the soft lips so tempting near to his own, watching the man beside him sleep. John wore only a black t-shirt and dark boxer-shorts and Rodney drew in a shaky breath as he struggled to keep his distance instead of giving in to his long suppressed desire for the man lying next to him threatening to overwhelm his senses.

He wouldn't do it, no way. He still considered himself as a man in a relationship, although Jennifer most likely had broke up with him the morning before he had asked John to check with him the basement and search for interesting hidden chambers to distract himself from his grief.

They had had a big quarrel, because Jennifer had been tired of his indecision. She wanted to move in with him – he didn't. She wanted to visit Earth for a month to introduce him to her father – he didn't. She wanted to spend an evening with him undisturbed and without him working again right after dinner – he didn't. It had gone on like this for what felt like an eternity and Rodney had watched his beautiful girlfriend becoming angrier with every minute that had passed. He really cared for her, but he just couldn't give her what she wanted, no matter how much he wished that it would be otherwise.

At the end of their argument, she had thrown him out of her quarters, giving him the advise not to come back before he had made up his mind about what he truly wanted and Rodney had left, confused, angry with her, himself and John – although Sheppard hadn't been there and certainly couldn't be blamed for his own mistakes.

Rodney knew quite well that Jennifer had been right with what she had said about his indecision and he also knew that his suppressed feelings for the man lying next to him, sleeping peacefully, were the reason for said indecision, but he really couldn't blame Sheppard for that. It was all only his fault, because he had feelings for another man he simply shouldn't have.

The colonel had never shown him any sign that he felt more than friendship and respect for him and Rodney didn't want to lose his friendship and respect because of his own mixed and inappropriate feelings. He really didn't want to make a fool of himself by letting see behind those walls he had raised so carefully.

He would stay away from him as best as he was able to with having to play his soul-mate and lock away his longing and desire deep inside him and focus on bringing both of them back where they belonged as soon as possible. He would have to work on several complicated calculations to find the right moment to activate the mirror again, hoping that his counterpart would do the same in their own reality, as well.

There also would be a lot of other work to do, hopefully distracting him enough from his unwelcome emotions and, most likely, a lot of off-world missions they had to join. They couldn't stay in Atlantis for three months without arousing suspicions by the other inhabitants.  
From what Rodney could tell by the almost six years of experiences he had, they probably would have to spend a large amount of time with trying to stay alive and healthy and he would have no time to think about his longing for one special hazel-eyed colonel of the USAF.

He just had to survive the nights they would spend here in these quarters, in this bed without making a complete fool of himself and then, everything would be all right, Rodney assured himself.

Rodney sighed, finally giving in to his desire to touch the sleeping man. He let his fingertips glide over the familiar features, soft like the touch of a feather, caressing the soft bottom lip with his thumb. John sighed in his sleep, a happy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but he didn't wake up. It must be a nice dream John Sheppard dreamed and Rodney briefly wished that he could see what the other man was dreaming. “Good night, John,” he whispered. “Sleep well.”

After one last caress of the stubbly cheek, Rodney slowly and carefully turned around, moving to his side of the bed, close to the edge once more, pulling his cover up to his shoulders and laid his head upon his own now cold pillow. He closed his eyes, drifting into the unconsciousness of a deep slumber again.

Rodney began to dream his own dream and in his dream, he felt John caressing his hairline on the nape of his neck with his calloused fingers, gently and tenderly and he heard John whisper: “Good night, Rodney. Sleep well.” and Rodney smiled, because this was truly the most wonderful dream he had had in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have to admit that I have problems with Rodney letting cheat on Jennifer what eventually might happen in this fic. I tried to find a solution for this problem and I think Rodney having had a big quarrel with her before their 'departure' could be taken as a 'break up' from their relationship. He still has feelings for her and has to struggle with his mixed feelings, but their quarrel might perhaps ease his bad conscience when he has to play his role of John's soul-mate, because I consider Rodney as a honest and trustworthy man who certainly doesn't cheat on someone easily.


	3. Meeting The Counterparts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John have spent their first night in the quarters of their 'twins' of another universe and now, they have to leave the relative safety of their 'shelter' and to meet the counterparts of the other inhabitants of Atlantis, especially Jennifer Keller and Katie Brown... Will Rodney be able to deal with them without revealing their secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't resist to write the next chapter sooner than I actually wanted to, but, I'm eager to get the boys through their first days in the other reality and I wanted Rodney to meet his ex-girlfriend and his ex-ex-girlfriend asap. There will be more action in this WIP in the future, I promise, but I really don't want to 'rush' through the first very important couple days of their settling in, because I think that the 'small steps' John and Rodney have to make to get used to their role are important for the entire story, especially Rodney slowly accepting his feelings for John.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the new chapter and please, let me know if you liked it!

The next time Rodney woke up, the right side of the bed was empty and the sun was shining brightly into the bedroom.

Rodney stretched his limbs, slowly and with relish, dwelling in the feeling of being well-rested and much more self-confident than he had felt the previous day. Somehow, he would get through the next three months, he just had to make sure that Sheppard wouldn't realize how he felt about him.

Rodney smiled, remembering the nice dream he had had. Sheppard had stroked his neck and whispered soft words in his ear and Rodney had felt as comforted, safe and loved as he had never felt before. Of course, it had been only a dream, but the wonderful feeling he had had during the dream still lasted, nevertheless. He turned his head on the pillow, looking at the right side of the bed. He still could see the small hollow where John's head had rested upon the pillow and he still could smell the slight scent of John's aftershave emanating from the pillow and the covers. He sighed and for one moment, he buried his face in John's pillow, inhaling deeply the familiar and tempting scent of his best friend.

He heard soft murmur coming from the living room, two voices, the male one most likely coming from John and the female one could be Teyla's voice, judging by what he could hear. Rodney sighed and stretched his limbs again, before he finally sat up, yawning, looking around. His clothes still lay on the floor, but he knew that he would have to check the wardrobe for the clothes of his counterpart.

Rodney still had some issues to 'spy' on the other Rodney, but he knew that he would have no other choice and so he stood up and crossed the bedroom with firm steps until he entered the small changing room that connected the bedroom with the living room.

Rodney stood before the large wardrobe and opened the right side next to the bedroom. He smiled, grimly, as he saw that he had been right with his instinctive choice, it was actually the side where his counterpart kept his clothing.

Rodney pursed his lips, considering the clothes hanging on coat hangers in a perfect order. Finally, he chose a blue polo-shirt and a fresh uniform jacket and BDUs. On the bottom of the wardrobe were several drawers and Rodney took a deep breath and opened one of them to search for the needed underwear. He murmured a silent apologize to his counterpart, before he determinedly grabbed a vest, boxer-shorts and a pair of black socks. He took the clothes he had chosen and went with them to the bathroom to take a shower, because he knew that John would look after him if he didn't show up in the living room sooner or later and he'd rather be showered and dressed before he had to face John after their first night spent together in this special bed where their counterparts had shared so many nights filled with love and passion.

He blinked surprised, as he heard himself humming a silent melody, but then he shrugged, continuing to hum while he closed the bathroom door behind him with a powerful snap.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

When Rodney entered the living room, he found John sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, a tarp covering the floor underneath the chair and Teyla stood behind him, cutting his hear with a scissor. They were chatting and laughing as if she were their 'own' Teyla and John seemed to be perfectly fine with the Athosian woman cutting his hair, the scissor coming dangerously close to his throat with every gesture she made while chatting and cutting.

Rodney swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut, as the scissor grazed John's skin. John only chuckled. “Hey, Teyla, watch out, I won't be able to play the role of your John with my head cut from my neck!” he complained, but he didn't seem to be afraid, at all.

“Oops, sorry John! You better stop telling me funny stories about your universe, then,” she defended herself, still laughing and Rodney hesitantly opened his eyes again, heaving a relieved sigh as he found John sitting on the chair, healthy and unharmed.

John turned his head and grinned at him. “Ah, good morning, sleepy head. I was about to worry that you have some marmots in your family. Feeling any better now?” he greeted Rodney, sounding a little bit teasingly on purpose and Rodney nodded his head, relaxing gratefully, because he really had feared that there would some awkwardness between them after the last night. But John's casual voice and the playful teasing made it easy for him to behave as normal as he was able to under the current circumstances. He played along, scowling reproachfully at John who simply grinned back.

“Yes, yes, thank you. And no marmots in my family, thank you very much!” Rodney snarled, but without much emphasis in his voice, trying hard to hide his own grin. Then he turned to the Athosian woman who greeted him, too as she felt his eyes upon her. “Good morning, Teyla. What are you doing with John's hair?” he greeted her, complaining about what she was doing with John's wonderful hair at the same time.

He loved John's messy dark hair that had always been unruly long for John being military, but John had been far away enough from the stupid heads on Earth and no one had ever said anything to his haircut. They had had a couple of busy and rough weeks and John's hair therefore had been much longer than usual, because John simply hadn't had the time to let it cut, but Rodney had loved it and his fingers had been itching with the strong wish to bury themselves into the fragrant dark strands and let them look even more messily.

John shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe you remember that Teyla said when she had found us yesterday that one of the reasons she realized that we're not 'her' John and Rodney was the length of my hair. Her John has much shorter hair and if she noticed it the minute she saw us, then other people most likely will notice that, too. Don't worry, Rodney, Teyla won't cut too much, just as much as needed to play the role of my 'twin' without arousing unnecessary suspicions,” he assured his friend, gently.

Rodney took another chair, straddling it and resting his arms upon the seat back, watching Teyla cutting John's hair with attentive eyes. Teyla scowled at him, but Rodney just grinned, being very content with the fact that for the first time since they had stranded in this reality he wasn't the one being watched and scrutinized.

Teyla sighed, reconciling herself with Rodney's reproachful stare, cutting the last strands of John's hair very carefully. “I have to give you some information before we go to breakfast,” she began to explain. Rodney flinched and she smiled calming at him. “You don't have to be afraid, Rodney. No one expects you to kiss passionately in front of others,” she made clear and Rodney felt not only relief, but also the slight sting of disappointment in his guts.

“But, the people living in Atlantis or on our allied planets are used to you being very close and intimate to each other. Touches on the shoulders, arms or hands and brief caresses, something like that. 'You' prefer to sit side by side on a table, not opposite each other. Plus, our John calls our Rodney 'Mer' and not Rodney or McKay when they are together with friends in Atlantis. On missions with strange people, it will be Rodney or McKay, depending on the situation, but, in Atlantis, it will be 'Mer'. Do you think you can do that?” she asked John, laying the scissor to the side and sitting on another chair in front of John and beside Rodney, so she could look at both, John and Rodney.

John vigorously nodded his head. “Of course, that won't be a problem. But, I have to admit that I'm surprised.” He shot a brief look at Rodney staring at Teyla in disbelief. “Our Rodney hates his first first-name.”

Teyla suppressed a chuckle. “Our Rodney did hate his first first-name, too, until he became John's soul-mate. John didn't accept that Rodney and Jeannie had no contact to each other and didn't give up his tries until he had brought them together again. Rodney was so happy that he accepted gladly to be called 'Meredith' by Jeannie, knowing that it was her way to show him how much she loves him; and after a while, John began to call him 'Mer'. Our Rodney appreciates his nick-name, a lot by now, but only coming from Jeannie, Madison and John. If anybody else tries to call you by that name, then both of you have to tell them off,” Teyla finished her explanation and for a while, there was complete silence.

John just watched Rodney, obviously waiting for his permission to call him 'Mer' in front of others and Rodney could see some emotions flickering over John's face he was not able to detect.

Rodney considered what Teyla had told to them and to his surprise, he found the thought of 'his' John calling him 'Mer' rather intriguing. It sounded so much more intimate and lovingly than just 'McKay' or his 'official' first-name Rodney everybody used who considered themselves as close enough to him to be allowed to actually call him by his first-name. Rodney had to admit that he liked the idea of a special nick-name only John was allowed to use and so he nodded his head.

“Okay, then, I will be 'Mer' for you in Atlantis,” he agreed, trying not to show his excitement about it too obviously. John blinked, looking rather astonished and it was apparent that he hadn't expected Rodney to give in so easily, but then, he smiled and Rodney could tell by his expression that John liked the idea as much as he himself did.

“All right, Mer. But think of telling off everyone else who calls you Mer!” he demanded and now it was Rodney's turn to suppress a satisfied and pleased chuckle, because John almost sounded jealously and that pleased Rodney immensely, because he had never thought that John could feel any jealousy towards him, like he himself had felt more often than he liked to admit.

Teyla watched them, curiously and nodded her head. “Yes, this is a good start. You might not be soul-mates, but I can sense a strong bond between the two of you, nonetheless. You are very close friends and know each other very well, that's obvious. You will be doing fine, I'm sure about that. You Rodney are supposed to work in the labs during the next couple days, because our Rodney was working on a solution to increase the efficiency of our naquadah-generators so we can go easy on our ZPMs and John has to see to our new Marines and to decide in which teams they will fit in best. Our team has had some rough weeks and Elizabeth decided to let us stay in Atlantis for the next few days, any possible emergency excluded, of course. I'm sure that you will have no problems with what our Rodney was working on, Rodney,” she said.

John pursed his lips. “I guess that I will work with Ronon and Major Lorne, then?” he asked. “This surely would be good to get used to your way of handling things, so no one will become mistrustfully, because I did something in a different way.”

Teyla smiled at him. “Of course, John, they will help you. But, I'm not worried about you, John. You won't fail, I can feel that in my guts,” she assured him and John relaxed visibly. Rodney understood him quite well, because their own Teyla had always had the same calming and reassuring effect on them.

“It's nice from you to say that, Teyla, thank you,” John answered, before he stood up. “I'm starving. We can't stay here in the safety of 'our' quarters for much longer without people starting to wonder what actually happened yesterday. Do you think that you can face the others, Mer?” John looked at him, waiting patiently for Rodney to make his decision.

Rodney returned the gaze, losing himself once more in the hazel-green depths of John's wonderful eyes that assured him that he would stay by his side, no matter what would happen. John always stayed by his side, Rodney knew for sure that John would never ever let him down. He might not feel the same way about him as Rodney felt, but he was his best friend and he would never turn his back on him. They would go through the three months together and John would do his best to help him whenever he needed his help.

He straightened his shoulders, smiling and nodded his head. “Yes, John. I'm ready, let's go to the cafeteria and get us some food. I'm starving, too,” he said, standing up and crossing the living room with firm steps, followed by Teyla and 'his' John, ready to face whatever might come their way.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

Everything had been fine during their breakfast until Jennifer and Katie had decided to join them at their table.

Rodney had been relieved as Teyla had led them to the table where Ronon and Major Lorne were sitting, clutching his tablet close to his body like a shield that should protect him against anybody who might come too close to his comfort zone. He had managed to carry his tablet to the table without any embarrassing incident, not one of the dishes placed upon the tablet had decided to kiss the ground or pour its contents over the edge, although his hands had been trembling and Rodney had been rather proud of himself that he hadn't made a fool of himself.

John had shot him an encouraging look from time to time, smiling at him and Rodney had smiled back, happily. Of course, he was quite aware of the fact that John's almost loving glances were only faked, meant to fool the other people crossing their way, but Rodney didn't care. He dwelt on the happiness and the flutter in his stomach John's tender looks aroused in him keeping them in a special corner of his mind so he would have something special to remember when they would be back in their own reality, returning to the state of being only friends and teammates and nothing more – no matter if their 'relationship' was only a great spectacle or not.

They had sat down side by side, close to each other and John was as attentive, kind and caring as Rodney always had wished that he would be. At first, Ronon had watched them with slightly narrowed eyes, but after a while, the big man from Sateda had relaxed and nodded his head with contentment and approval. Ronon reminded Rodney of his 'own' Ronon, shoveling his food in his mouth without speaking more than he had to, but the glances he exchanged with the handsome Major sitting beside him told Rodney that they were a happy couple and that Ronon cared for Major Lorned, deeply and passionately.

Major Lorne was much more talkative and he had managed to pass a lot of information to John and Rodney during his friendly chatting. Rodney had listened carefully to the Major, knowing that he would need all of the information he could get to play the role of his counterpart convincingly enough and he could see that John listened as intently to the Major's chatting as he himself, stroking Rodney's hand from time to time absent-mindedly. Rodney couldn't help but flinch slightly every time John did so, not because he didn't enjoy the brief caresses, but because he enjoyed them far too much for his own liking and peace of mind. It was so easy and so tempting to take John's behavior for real and he had to remind himself forcefully that John only played a role.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

Rodney's good mood changed within the blink of an eye to almost panic as he heard two well-known female voices coming nearer and he looked up, frightened and startled, gaping at the counterparts of his most-likely-ex-girlfriend and his ex-ex-girlfriend. They walked side by side, giggling about something, each of them carrying a tablet and determinedly making their way straight to the table were Rodney and John were sitting, and Rodney found himslef frozen in place and close to hyperventilating.

He just stared at the two women in horror, but then, he felt John's hand taking his own ice-cold trembling fingers in his own, pressing them slightly, but also firmly in a reassuring and calming manner.

Teyla who sat opposite him smiled at him, her smile as encouraging and reassuring as John's hand still holding his own. “Sorry, Rodney, you better face them now sitting here with us than somewhere else where you might be alone with them. Remember – they don't know about you, for Jennifer and Katie, you are 'their' Rodney, a close friend. To tell the truth – John and you are best friends with them and the four of you spend a lot of time together. You call them Jen and Kat,” she murmured, uncomfortably, because she hadn't warned him when they had been in their quarters and Rodney stared at her, incredulously and hurt.

“You could have said that earlier, don't you think so?” he hissed through gritted teeth, before he looked up again, grinning as widely at 'his' two friends that he thought his jaw would dislocate from his faked grin the very next second. The pressure on his fingers became stronger and Rodney entangled their fingers and clung to John's hand as if it were his life-line, the only thing keeping him from drowning. John's thumb began to stroke the back of his hand and the thin hairs upon it and Rodney shivered, the innocent caress only meant to calm him arousing him more than any of Jennifer's – 'his' Jennifer's attempts to seduce him had ever aroused him during their complicated relationship. But it also helped him to calm him down a little bit and when Katie and Jennifer reached their table, the painful grin had changed into a shaky but true smile.

Jennifer placed her tablet opposite to John on the table, pulling the chair back for her soul-mate Katie and the young woman Rodney had dated a long time ago in his own reality beamed at her mate, happily and gratefully. “Thank you love!” she said to the blonde before she focused her attention on Rodney and John.

“Good morning, Rod, good morning John! I heard you were trapped in a storage-room for hours, yesterday! You poor boys! I hope it wasn't too uncomfortable...?” she said and Rodney desperately gulped for air, because he wasn't sure about the possible implication Katie could have meant with her question, apart from her obvious concern about their well-being.

John beside him looked at him and his eyes were filled with passion and tenderness as he briefly caressed Rodney's cheek with his hand. “Don't worry, Kat,” he said, nonchalantly, winking with his left eye at her. “Mer and I were able to distract ourselves while we waited for someone to come and free us again and it wasn't uncomfortably at all.” For the first time, John had used his nick-name in front of the others and his voice had almost purred as he had spoken it out loud.

Rodney blushed, instantly and furiously, staring at John, unable to say anything to this false statement while Katie and Jennifer began to giggle, pleased and amused. “Just look at our Rod, Kat!” Jennifer snickered. “He's still blushing, every time John says something like that. There's no need to be shy or embarrassed, Rod. Kat and I would have done the same to pass the time,” she admitted, shooting adoring glances at her mate sitting beside her.

Major Lorne took pity on Rodney and came to his rescue. “Ronon and me myself were trapped in a transporter several months ago. There was something wrong with the energy and we were stuck there for two hours. My back was pretty sore after that two hours, I can tell you! But it was absolutely worth it,” he said, grinning at the former runner who grinned back, obviously not embarrassed at all.

Teyla added another story giving Rodney the time to win back his composure and Rodney unconsciously leaned against John's side who smiled at him, apologetically and gently. When Rodney pulled his hand back, John let go of it and Rodney got the impression that he did so reluctantly and hesitantly.  
Rodney picked up his abandoned sandwich, taking another bite and began to chew on it, as Jennifer said all of a sudden: “What about tonight? You will come for dinner to us, won't you?”

Rodney opened his mouth still filled with the sandwich and gasped for air and then things went pretty fast. A small piece of his sandwich slipped into his trachea and Rodney choked on it and began to cough. He coughed and coughed, desperately trying to get rid of the piece still choking him, his eyes watering with the effort and the pain and he felt vaguely the eyes of everyone sitting at their table upon him, worried and concerned.

John patted his back, murmuring gentle words into his ear and Rodney coughed and coughed until he thought he would black out with the lack of air in his lungs. When he finally had been able to get rid of the piece, he gasped for air, bending forward with the pain the coughing had caused. John rubbed his back in comforting circles now and Rodney was glad that he was there, his presence strong and steady like a cliff in the breakers and he leaned heavily against him, trying to catch his breath. John wrapped his arm firmly around his shoulder, gently pressing him close to his body and Rodney locked eyes with him in the attempt to find out what John was thinking. They looked each other deep in the eyes and Rodney forgot the others sitting at their table and watching them.

At first, he had feared that John would enjoy his discomfort when he had to face the counterparts of his two ex-girlfriends, although John didn't know by now that Jennifer had broken up with him; because John had found the thought of Jennifer and Katie being soul-mates so funny when he heard about them in Elizabeth's office, but all he could see on John's face as he now looked at him was genuine concern and honesty and Rodney smiled weakly at him to show him that he was fine.

John stroked his cheek again and it didn't feel like playing a role at all, quite the opposite, it felt real and just as it should be between the two of them. Rodney wondered briefly if John felt the same way or if he actually just was playing his role and he sighed because he probably would never know it.

John broke the spell as he turned to the two young women, shaking his head. “Would you mind if we wanted to come another evening, Jen? The last weeks were pretty rough and yesterday didn't add to our well-being,” he asked her and Jennifer and Katie nodded their heads in unison.

“Of course, John. That's quite understandable. We will cook for you another day. You should spend a quiet evening in your quarters,” Jennifer agreed, considering Rodney, thoughtfully. “Maybe you should come to me later for a quick check?” she suggested, but Rodney shook his head. He wasn't ready to deal with the 'twin' of his most-likely-ex-girlfriend, not before he had settled in in his new role. “I'm fine, Jen,” he assured her. “I only choked on a piece of my sandwich and I'm a little bit tired, nothing serious. A peaceful evening in our quarters will do wonders to my well-being.”

To his relief, Jennifer let go of the topic, focusing on her meal instead. Teyla and Major Lorne did their best to distract the newcomers from Rodney and John and Rodney was able to eat the rest of his meal undisturbed. John's arm stayed where it was, wrapped around his shoulder and Rodney suddenly wished that they could stay in this reality and become true soul-mates. He knew that his wish was probably unrealistic and stupid, but he wished it, nonetheless. He chewed thoughtfully on his sandwich and smiled.

Maybe, a miracle would happen and John would return his feelings someday. Maybe, being stuck in this strange reality was the chance to win the heart of his best friend, he just had to believe in it.


	4. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney had met the counterparts of his two exes during their first breakfast in the other universe. Now, he has to 'survive' the first day, working and pretending that he's John's soul-mate...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's another chapter about Rodney's struggles to settle in in another reality where he is John's soul-mate. I really had fun to write this and I hope that you like it, as well.
> 
> As usual without beta-backup, I will change the errors later when my poor beta has worked herself through all of the chapters I throw at her...

Rodney had managed to sneak in his lab without any serious incidents that might have given his true nature of being not the 'right' Rodney McKay away. He heaved a relieved sigh and closed his eyes for one moment. He had felt dazed and confused for the rest of their breakfast and he had been deeply grateful that John had sat beside him like a solid rock, comforting and reassuring just because he was there, sitting close to him, stroking his trembling fingers and smiling gently at him from time to time.

Rodney took a deep breath and opened his eyes again, looking around in the other Rodney's lab. It seemed that his 'twin' had the same habits, preferences and standards when it came to his work as he himself had, because he felt at 'home' here in this lab, almost immediately.

He would be able to work here without confusion and discomfort and he relaxed and unclenched gratefully his teeth. His jaw had started to hurt from all the clenching and he felt a bad headache creeping in his temples from the nape of his neck. He was grateful and relieved that no one else was there at the moment and that he had won some more time alone that he needed so badly right now. He could hear the murmur of the other scientists working in the other labs through the closed door, but none of them tried to come to him and talk to him.

He stood there for a moment, leaned against the closed door, his eyes drinking in the sight of the place that had always given him comfort and confidence, a place that had always offered him the possibility to withdraw from other people who only considered him as a creepy and annoying scientist who obviously lacked skills in social and polite behavior.

Rodney didn't know how oftentimes he had locked himself in his lab, hiding from all of the other people, until John had dragged him out of his comfort zone and thrown him right into the middle of everybody's attention by taking him in his team and making him an important member of it.

Rodney knew quite well that he still lacked social skills, but for the first time in his life he had found true friends he could count on no matter what and that was all because of a special hazel-eyed Lt. Colonel of the USAF with unruly and messy dark hair and a crooked and mischievous smile that charmed everyone instantly, making them do whatever John Sheppard wanted them to do. He himself was the best example for it.

Rodney pushed himself away from the door and slowly crossed the room, inhaling deeply the familiar scent of coffee, the remains of some chocolate bars, sandwiches, air condition, ozone, dust and the different scents of the people who worked here with him - no with his counterpart, of course. Rodney blinked and shook slightly his head to clear his still confused and dazed mind.

Rodney let his fingertips glide over the computers and devices, over the desks and walls, imaging how the other Rodney had worked here – before he had returned in his quarters, knowing that his soul-mate would be there, waiting for him.

Rodney sighed again. He would give everything if he actually was his John's soul-mate, too. It was so hard to _pretend_ to be John's other half when all he wanted was actually _be_ his other half. He felt a shiver running down his spine as he pulled himself together with effort, shaking off these disturbing thoughts and trying to focus on his work.

He had to find a way to increase the efficiency of the naquadah-generators and although this sounded as if it was an easy job to do, but Rodney knew quite well that it would be a lot of work to do so without putting the whole city into danger. The generators could overload during the process and destroy big parts of Atlantis. He switched one of the computers on and waited for the screen to light up while he concentrated on the possibilities of increasing the efficiency and he felt himself relaxing even more. He was good at that and it would help him getting through the next three months.

Rodney sat down before the computer and began to type on the keyboard. After a while, he had lost himself in his work and murmured silently to himself as he searched for the best way to get the generators work the way he wanted them to work without exploding.

He was so absorbed in what he was doing that he flinched, startled as someone spoke next to his right side all of a sudden.

He glanced up with narrowed eyes, angry about the interruption and found Radek Zelenka standing beside his desk, waiting patiently for Rodney to pay him attention.

“Yes?” he asked, unsure about his reaction. From what Teyla had told him, his counterpart got along with Zelenka much better than he did in his own reality, but he wasn't sure about how his 'twin' reacted to any unwelcome disruption while he was working. If the other Rodney was anything like him, then he would be pretty annoyed about any disruption while focused so deeply on his work, that was a given. The only question was how he would display his annoyance.

Zelenka smiled apologetically at him. “Sorry, Rodney. I didn't mean to disturb you. I just remembered something we have found some months ago in the database of the Ancient's warship we had discovered. They used some naquadah-generators similar to ours, too to go on easy on their ZPMs and they had the same problems with the efficiency and the permanent threat of overloading them. They used a special device as a potentiometer and could increase and lower the flow of the needed energy with it. We can't use that device the way the Ancients did, but, maybe, wen can modify it?”

Rodney stared at the other scientist, stunned and speechless. He remembered the mentioned warship, they had found and explored it in their own reality, too. It had been too damaged to do anything with it and in the end, they had destroyed it because they didn't want the Wraith to use it to their advantage, but they had saved the data first. He didn't know about that said device, but maybe he would find something about it after their return to their own universe.

He smiled at Zelenka. “Yes, I remember that, too,” he said, cautiously. “You're idea is good, Radek. Let's see if we can use this device and change it into what we need.”

Zelenka beamed at him because of Rodney's praise and Rodney got the feeling that he had given the right answer and had behaved like his 'twin' would have behaved.  
Maybe, it wouldn't be as difficult and hard to play his role as he first had feared. He stood up and followed Radek into the other lab, noticing the friendly greetings of the other scientists working there and he found himself nodding and smiling back just as if he had done so countless times, instead of snapping and barking short orders.  
His counterpart seemed to be much more liked and appreciated than he had ever felt and he had to admit that he liked the way the other scientists treated him much better. It gave him the certainty he needed to 'survive' the next three months here and he was willing to make the best out of his stay here.

He inwardly shook his head, musing about this strange place once again. He only had been here for more than one day, but he already could feel this place having an effect on him and change him. He might not have wanted this, but now he would accept it and see where it would lead him and maybe there was the little chance that he would come closer to John and become more to him than just his friend and teammate. He had three months to at least try it and Rodney smiled with the grim determination to make good use of this three months.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------

 

When Rodney entered the large set of quarters that he called his home for the next three months again, John was already there, busied with setting the table. Rodney paused in the doorway for one moment, enjoying the wonderful sight in front of him.

John had always reminded Rodney of an elegant black panther strolling through its rightful territory and to watch him unnoticed doing something as 'unspectacular' as setting the table for dinner, humming silently to himself, aroused the strong wish in Rodney to come home to the this peaceful scenery every day after having worked his ass off for the sake of Atlantis' inhabitants once again.

Unfortunately, he could enjoy the sight not long enough for his liking, because after all, John was an excellent soldier with well-trained instincts and he realized that Rodney was standing in the doorway much sooner than Rodney would have preferred it.

He turned around and smiled at Rodney his usual crooked smile that let his eyes sparkle with mischief; and it still had the same effect on Rodney as it had always had – Rodney's heart started missing a beat. Rodney was sure that this special smile would always make his breath falter, even when he would be gray and old someday.

“Hey, Mer, you're back,” John said and Rodney had to suppress a wistful sigh as he heard John calling him by that intimate nick-name. He cleared his throat and tried hard not to blush. “Hm, yes. You – you don't need to use the name when we're alone, I guess,” he murmured unsure.

John's smile faded and he frowned slightly. If Rodney didn't know it better, than he would have thought that there was disappointment clear to see in the hazel eyes. “Don't you want me to call you by that name, Rodney?” he asked after a while, quietly and with a strange undertone in his voice.

Now, Rodney couldn't keep himself from blushing. Yes, he wanted John to call him 'Mer', he wanted it so badly that it almost hurt. “Uhm, yes, I do, I only thought that you wouldn't feel comfortable with it and apart from that, no one's here to notice that we're not – hm – you know – the 'others'...” His voice trailed off as he felt John's intensive look upon him.

“I feel very comfortable, Mer, don't worry,” John finally answered and this time, his voice gave nothing away of what he might think. “Apart from that, we have to get used to our new roles and it surely would be good if we behave the way we are supposed to when we're alone, as well.”

Rodney swallowed hard. He had to remember that for John, it was only a role he had to play. He tried to smile, certain that it was more a grimace than anything else. “Of course. It's fine with me if you want to call me Mer when no one's around.”

He crossed the room, expecting to see the tablets from the cafeteria placed on the table. He frowned as he saw the bowls and plates, but nothing that reminded him of the food from the cafeteria.

“Did Teyla and Elizabeth cook for us again?” he asked, inhaling deeply the tempting scent of the steaks and the vegetables. The meal looked as tempting as it smelled and Rodney's mouth watered. He had worked during his lunch break, Radek had picked up some sandwiches and Rodney had been grateful that he hadn't had to eat in the cafeteria without John. The problem with the generators had turned out to be much more difficult than even he himself had expected and he had worked with Radek for almost ten hours. They had made good progress, but they were still far from presenting a final solution that would work properly. He was tired and still uncomfortable and confused and he had to admit that he was starving, but he didn't like that thought of Elizabeth and Teyla spending their rare free-time with cooking for them on a regular basis, just because he was too cowardly to eat in the cafeteria.

John watched his reaction intently and Rodney uncomfortably shifted his weight from foot to foot.

“No, I cooked the meal,” John finally said after a rather long moment of complete silence.

Rodney found himself staring at John with his mouth hanging open and a rather stupid expression on his face. “You cooked it? You can cook?” he eventually stammered incredulously. John crossed his arms over his chest and stared back, obviously not sure if he should be offended or amused by Rodney's disbelief about he being able to cook a meal.

“Of course, I can cook, Mer!” he said pointedly, stressing every word. “What did ya think? I'm a grown up and have lived on my own for years. Did you really believe that I only ate fast food and take outs or food from the cafeteria?” he asked in the same disbelieving voice Rodney had used.

“But, you never cooked before!” Rodney shook his head, still not sure if John was kidding him.

John snorted. “You probably might have noticed that there is no kitchen in my quarters, Mer. These quarters here do have a kitchen and judging by the stuff I found in the refrigerator, our counterparts love to cook. It was easy to cook a complete meal with a kitchen, a well-filled refrigerator and everything I needed to make it tasty and good.”

He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips. “If I had to guess, Mer, than I would say that you know how to cook yourself. You have allergies that could threaten your live and you're very persnickety when it comes to food. I don't think that you rely on fast food or the muck they sometimes offer in the cafeterias only.”

Rodney bit his lip. No one had ever cared much about his allergies, his parents the least of all and Rodney had learned to cook at a very young age. The only other person who had ever cared was his sister Jeannie, but Rodney had never liked her vegetarian meals.

“Yes, I know how to cook,” he finally admitted and John smiled at him, a genuine smile making his eyes sparkle in that special way Rodney loved so much. Promptly, Rodney's heart missed another beat and his breath faltered again.

“I thought so. I took care of your allergies, there's nothing you can't eat. Apart from that, I think that your 'twin' most likely has the same problems when it comes to allergies and therefore there was nothing in the fridge that could cause you any problems. Why don't you sit down, Mer? You look as if you had had a rough day and I really would like you to eat the meal still hot,” he suggested and reached out with his hand to take Rodney's hand and pull him gently closer. Rodney let himself be pulled the last few steps to the table and dropped down on the chair, still stunned and touched by John's behavior.

“Yes, I would like to do that, too,” he said after clearing his throat once more. “It smells delicious.”

John sat down at the other side of the table. He had set the table so they could sit both at the large side of the table next to one of the short sides and Rodney was glad that John hadn't chosen to put the whole long table between them by setting the short sides for them. He'd rather not yell over the table to be able to talk to John and apart from that, it was much less formal and much more intimate that way.

John served him with the food and Rodney relaxed and watched the hazel-eyed colonel filling his plate with all of his favorites. He swallowed. “You cooked one of my favorite meals,” he said, a questioning undertone in his voice.

John considered him. “I'm your team-leader and your friend, Mer. We work together for more than five years by now. Of course, I know your favorites and what you can eat and what you shouldn't eat in any case. I know that I always teased you with the citrus in my pocket, but, please, believe me that I would never endanger your life by letting you eat something that could kill you or make you sick,” he said, quietly and sincerely.

Rodney opened his mouth to say something not very friendly about John knowing quite well that oftentimes he was the only one being able to save their asses and therefore would take care of Rodney's well-being for his own interest, but then, he snapped his mouth shut again. John hadn't given him the impression that this had been his only motive. Quite the opposite, John had looked as if he really cared about him as a friend and not only as his team-leader.

He smiled and only said: “Thank you, John.” before he picked up his fork and began to eat.

John watched him eat for few minutes, before he took his own fork and they ate their meal in companionable silence, looking and smiling at each other from time to time, Rodney's heart beating faster every time he saw John's soft lips curling up.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

After their meal that had tasted better than any other meal Rodney had ever eaten, they cleaned the table and washed up the dishes. John had told him about his day with the newcomers and mentioned some funny happenings about the training exercises with Ronon.

Now, it was Rodney's turn to tell John about his first day in the other Rodney's lab, and he found himself getting more and more excited about how Radek and the others had treated him as he talked with his mouth and his hands, while John dried the plates, listening to him with friendly amusement. When Rodney was done, John turned to him, considering with a thoughtful expression on his handsome features.

“You know that your people would treat you the same way, Mer if you only would let them treat you this way? You are the one snapping and growling all of the time, because you always think that no one likes you. Your staff admires you and they really do like you. But you never gave them at least the slightest chance to prove themselves to you.”

Rodney opened his mouth and closed it again. “Uh, that's... How can you be so sure about that?” he finally managed to ask, feeling somehow pretty ridiculous and stupid.

John sighed. “Because I listen to them, Mer. I hear them talking about you in the labs every time I visit you, I hear them when I'm in the cafeteria and everywhere I might cross their way. All you have to do is listen to them and stop thinking that everyone loathes you, because that's simply not true,” John replied and there was no doubt that he meant what he had said.

Rodney leaned against the cupboard next to him, because his knees suddenly felt like jelly and he needed to feel some solid weight to keep him upright.

“I had no clue – I always thought...” he mumbled sheepishly and John laid his hand upon his shoulder and smiled again. “I know. That's why I'm telling you now. I didn't think that you would have believed me in our own reality, but here, noticing the way these nice people treat you perhaps might help you to finally believe it,” he said and Rodney slowly nodded his head.

“At least, I can try,” he admitted and turned around to pick up the last bowl. He began to dry it with more force than it would have been necessary, but he needed something that would distract him from the warmth radiating from where John's hand still rested on his shoulder, because he feared that he would do something really stupid like throwing himself into John's arms and begging him to love him otherwise.

John watched him rubbing with the towel over the porcelain for a while, before he drew back from him, putting the dishes back where they belonged into the cupboards and Rodney avoided his eyes as they eventually returned to the living room.

John went to the TV and considered the DVDs lying on the table. “How about watching a movie?” he asked in a casual manner and Rodney gratefully nodded his head. Watching a movie was a good idea. It would keep him from having to talk to John and making a fool of himself again.

John held up one of the DVDs. “Jurassic Park?” he asked hopefully and Rodney nodded again, because he didn't trust his voice. He really didn't care about the film, he would gladly watch the 'Teletubbies' or the 'Muppet Show' with John without any complaint, as long as it kept John from looking at him with this strange expression in his eyes that made Rodney's heart flip and his palms sweat. Not to mention the effects this expression had on the lower regions of his body.

Rodney took a deep breath and straightened his shoulders. “Jurassic Park is fine with me,” he agreed and crossed the room to sit down on the couch, pressed close to the padded right armrest.

John started the film and came to Rodney, sitting down beside him. Rodney shot him an irritated glance, because it was a big couch with room for more than two people, but John doesn't seem to notice that their legs and arms were touching and that Rodney was stiff and tense as crouched as he sat in his corner to avoid coming closer to John than he already was.

John leaned back comfortably, spreading his legs out in front of him and his arms came to rest on the seat back, only few centimeters away from Rodney's shoulders. Rodney sat there, frozen in place, staring blindly at the screen. He caught his breath and tried to distract himself from the tempting closeness, the heat radiating from John's body and the musky scent overwhelming his senses.

He was so busied with forcing his thoughts away from the other man sitting far too close for his peace of mind that he jerked with a start as he felt John wrapping his arm around his shoulder, the calloused fingers gently stroking his upper arm.

“W-w-what are you doing, Sheppard?” he almost shouted, staring frightened and bewildered at his team-leader, trying to pull away, but there was no place where he could have moved away from the colonel without actually standing up.

John pulled him closer, stroking his arm as if he tried to calm a frightened little cat with his strokes.  
“Getting you used to my touches,” he only said, casually, his eyes never leaving the screen. “You are far too tense and uncomfortable. People will notice it. Relax, Mer, no one's here watching us. Just lean back and enjoy the movie.”

Rodney gulped for air and made another timid attempt to move away from the hazel-eyed man, but John's arm tightened around his shoulder, keeping him firmly in place. “Stop wriggling. I won't bite you!” he ordered, his voice sounding slightly rough, still looking at the screen.

Rodney sighed and finally allowed himself to lean against the colonel, very aware of the play of the strong muscles as John shifted his weight to make it more comfortable for Rodney to lean in.

Rodney sat there, staring blindly at the screen, not daring to move or even breathe and he knew that he would forever remember this precious moment. He would always remember how it had felt like, sitting here with John's arm wrapped around his shoulder and his fingers gently stroking his arm.

Rodney closed his eyes, finally daring to relax and dwelling in the feeling of being so close to the one who meant more to him than any other being had ever meant and he let himself be lulled to sleep by the sounds coming from the TV, leaned against John and with a small happy smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I noticed that there are a lot of fics about John and / or Rodney trying to cook and failing. I have to admit that I have no clue if their cooking skills were ever mentioned in the original show, but I decided that 'my' John and Rodney actually know how to cook. John has lived on his own for years and I do believe that he learned it during those years before he joined the SGC. I was never taught how to cook, but I learned it by myself when I moved away from my parent's house and it's not so difficult as one actually might think.  
> I also know a lot of people with serious allergies and they all know how to cook, because they know best what they can eat and what not and I do believe that Rodney went through the same experiences, so 'my' Rodney can cook, as well.


	5. An Interesting Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John slowly settle in in the other reality. Rodney finds out that working with Radek isn't as bad as he first has feared and he starts to relax and even enjoy their stay.  
> But, the two counterparts of his two exes invited him and John for dinner and now, Rodney has to spend a whole evening with John and the counterparts of his two former girlfriends...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish a happy new year to all of you, my dear readers! I wish you a wonderful year 2015 and all the best!
> 
> I also want to say thank you to all of you who left kudos or comments or bookmarked my story and showed me that you like Rodney's adventures in this special reality with that. It's hard work to write an interesting WIP sometimes and your feedback is the best motivation to keep me going and fight the bad writer's block that sometimes makes the writing even harder.
> 
> I had fun writing this chapter after I finally had gotten over the block and I hope that you will enjoy reading it. As always, please, let me know if you liked it!

“Mer, wake up!” Rodney only growled annoyed, snuggling closer into the tempting fragrant warmth of his pillow. “No, lemme sleep, 's still early,” he mumbled, pushing his nose deep into the soft pillow.

The pillow moved underneath him and the warm air of a quiet chuckle tickled his ear. “Mer. Wake up. The film is over.”

Rodney froze. He cautiously opened his eyes, staring at the shirt his face was buried in. Sheppard's shirt. His face was buried in John Sheppard's shirt and his arm was wrapped around the colonel's midsection. He was wide awake now, staring at the smooth skin only millimeters away from his lips' reach.

Rodney jerked, trying to pull away from the other man. “Uh, I-I-I'm s-sorry,” he stammered, while his cheeks began to burn and his head began to spin. His thoughts were racing with the question what had happened and why he had slept sitting practically on John's lap.

John pulled him close again. “Uh, Mer, calm down, please. I didn't mean to startle you. The film is over and I thought that it would be more comfortable for you to sleep in your bed,” he said in a calming voice.

Rodney didn't know where to look at and so he stared down at his feet. “Uhm, yes, thank you. I'm so sorry, I can't believe that I fell asleep while watching Jurassic Park.”

John chuckled again. “No need to be sorry for anything, Mer,” he assured him gently. “It was a long day and you worked for hours in your lab. Not to mention the circumstances of our stay here.”

“So, you don't mind that I slept on your shoulder?” Rodney mumbled embarrassed. John moved his head to look at him but he didn't speak until Rodney finally raised his head again. Then, he smiled, a strange expression in his eyes. If Rodney hadn't known it better, he would have taken it as tenderness.

“No, Rodney. I don't mind. Now, prepare for bed. I will join you in a second,” he ordered gently and Rodney nodded his head. He wasn't sure if he would be able to fall asleep any time soon again, because he was still confused and embarrassed, but it would be better if he lay in their bed when John joined him in the bedroom.

He stood up and crossed the living room after one last glance back at John who watched him leave with this strange expression still visible on his face. He stopped in front of the wardrobe and opened the door to look for a pajama. He couldn't sleep in his underwear every night and he grabbed the first pajama within his reach. He shut the door close again and headed through the bedroom to enter the bath. He laid it on the edge of the large tub without really looking at it and then, rushed through his bedtime routine before he stripped his clothes to dress with the pajama.

When he finally looked at the clothing he swallowed hard, staring disbelievingly at the pajama his 'twin' obviously preferred to wear in bed.

The pajama was made of satin and of a ruby-red color. The garment was silky and wonderful to touch, but Rodney had never even considered to wear satin and ruby-red during sleeping. Although he had to admit that his counterpart certainly had other intentions when he wore this special clothing. He took it up with only his fingertips as if he was afraid that the soft satin would burn his fingers and considered it stunned and speechless. He could see that it would fall loosely enough to be comfortable during sleeping, but, nonetheless, it was a ruby-red-satin-pajama and he had never worn anything like this before.

“Crap! How am I supposed to wear this?” he muttered to himself, musing about sleeping in his underwear again or looking for another pajama. But just when he was ready to open the door, he heard John tinkering around in the changing room and so he dressed hastily with the ominous outfit and rushed into the bedroom, glad that John hadn't lit up the room. He crawled under the covers and pulled them up to his head.

Then, he lay there, waiting for John to come to bed and for his breath to calm down. He squeezed his eyes shut as John passed the bed, humming silently to himself. The hazel-eyed colonel seemed to be in a good mood and Rodney wondered briefly how this could be after his impoliteness to fall asleep during the movie, but maybe, John had been serious about it and hadn't minded it at all.

Rodney listened to the silent sound of the flush of the toilet and other familiar sounds and to his surprise, he relaxed and became sleepy again. He embraced his pillow and curled up in his favorite sleeping position and when the mattress slightly shifted under John's weight, he murmured a soft “Good night, John” and was halfway asleep until John had made himself comfortable under the covers. The last thing he heard was the gently answered “Good night to you too, Mer”, before he slipped into the slumber of exhaustion with a little smile on his face.

 

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They had settled in in a more or less nice routine.

Three days had passed since they had stumbled into this weird universe and Rodney was still working with Radek on the solution to increase the energy-flow of the naquadah-generators. To his surprise, he had found out that he loved working with Radek – at least with the one who was the counterpart of his own Radek.

He would have liked to ask Radek if they had gone along so well with each other right from the start, but of course, he couldn't do that. The Radek living in this reality truly seemed to like and admire him and for the first time, Rodney could listen to his suggestions and debate with him without feeling the urge to prove that he was the genius and more intelligent than any other scientist living in Atlantis. Their debates were constructive and stimulating and they had made great progress during the last two days. It would still take some time, but Rodney was certain that they would solve the problem and come up with a solution within the next two weeks without blowing up half of the city.  
The other scientists behaved the same way as Radek did and Rodney had left his 'private' lab to work together with the others, enjoying his already interesting and enjoyable job even more than he had before. He listened to the jokes they made and for the first time, he didn't think that they were joking at him but told jokes himself and to his surprise, the others laughed about them and included him in their sworn community.

He had also left Atlantis with John to go on an off-world-mission the previous day. This had been an easy job to do, because the had gone there with Teyla and Ronon alone who knew that John and Rodney didn't belong to their reality and Rodney hadn't had to feign anything. They had explored some old ruins and found some interesting data Rodney would have to check during the next days, as well, something about a hidden lab somewhere deeper in the mountains they had seen on the horizon.

Rodney sighed and focused on his work again avoiding the thoughts of the forthcoming evening.

Tonight, he would have to endure the dinner with Katie and Jennifer. They had asked for a new date yesterday morning during breakfast and John had shot him a quick glance and promised that they would come this evening.

Rodney really didn't know how he was supposed to do that, spend two or three hours with his two exes, making polite conversation and act as if he were John's soul-mate. His stomach already began to cramp if he only thought briefly about it and he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to swallow one single piece of food.

When Radek came to him, he groaned inwardly. He knew what was coming now and he had been right, because Radek smiled at him and said: “Rodney, you really should stop working now. You will be too late for the dinner and it would be impolite to let your best friends wait.” He sighed wistfully. “I wish they would cook for the cafeteria, their dinners are so delicious!”

Rodney was about to say that he would gladly work the whole night if Radek only took his place and spend the evening with the two woman. But, he closed his mouth again and only nodded. He knew that he couldn't do that, neither to Katie and Jennifer who didn't know about his relationships with their counterparts in his own reality, nor to John who counted on him and that he would do his best to survive in this universe without making things worse as they already were.

“Yes, Radek, you're right, I forgot the time,” he only said, switching his computer off. Radek patted his arm and grinned. “As you always do when you're so absorbed in your work. Poor John – he has to pick you up almost every second evening.”

Rodney felt himself blushing – something he slowly got used to, hoping that Radek would take it as a sign of his bad conscience and not something else. He smiled at the other scientist said good night and then left the lab to keep his promise and spend the evening with his two exes and the man who was supposed to be the soul-mate Rodney wanted him so badly to be.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

“Rodney, John, please come in!” Katie said with a wide smile on her face as she opened the door to let them in. Rodney weakly smiled back, glad that John had been so foresighted to bring a bottle of wine with them he had bought on the planet where he had been today with Teyla to fix some trades with one of their trading partners.

He handed the bottle to Katie and she took it and pulled him down to kiss him on both cheeks. To his immense relief, he didn't blush this time and he was even able to return the warm welcome the same way without making a fool of himself. Katie let go of him to kiss John on his cheeks, as well and then pulled them into their quarters.

“Come in! Jenny is still busied with the dinner, she locked herself away in the kitchen and didn't let me do anything!” Katie complained, but she smiled as she said it. She placed the bottle in the middle of the carefully set up table. Rodney swallowed dryly as he noticed the white porcelain, the flowers in the crystal vase and the candles. He shot a quick glance at John, but John seemed to be relaxed and untroubled and Rodney's heart skipped a beat as he finally drank in the astonishing sight of his 'soul-mate'.

The hazel-eyed colonel wore a pair of tight black jeans – very tight jeans that revealed everything and left nothing to the watcher's fantasy, from the very appealing way the jeans accentuated John's perfect trimmed backside down to the way the trousers enclosed his slim, but strong-muscled long legs. Rodney gulped for air again, deeply grateful that he wore a loosely pair of slacks that covered the bulge of his growing manhood that didn't obey his desperate mental order to stay flat and unmoved.

John also wore a tight fitting black shirt with small silvery buttons and he had left the first three buttons open so Rodney could catch a brief look at the colonel's chest fur underneath. The chain of his dog tags he still wore shimmered in the soft light of the candles and Rodney's manhood twitched happily at this tempting sight. Rodney suppressed a moan. To boost the sexiness of his outfit, John had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt and Rodney's eyes were glued to the sight of the play of his arm's muscles as John opened the bottle of wine for Katie. He heard them talk to each other, but all he could hear was his pulse pounding in his ears.

John had shaved in the morning, but the stubble had grown again during the last hours and John looked sexy as hell and reminded Rodney of an elegant black panther as he opened the bottle with few firm movements. The outfit was both, elegant and casual at the same time and suited the handsome colonel perfectly.

A sharp sting of jealousy deep in his belly suddenly made him groan. Maybe, John had dressed up like that to impress Katie or Jennifer? Rodney had never seen him in such an outfit before and although he knew that this was the clothing John's 'twin' normally wore, but John could have chosen something less sexy, nevertheless.

Katie and John glanced at him when they heard his strangled groan, concern showing in their eyes. “Is everything okay with you, Mer?” John asked, touching his arm. Rodney somehow managed to smile, even though it was a faked smile that probably looked more like a grimace. “Yes, thank you. Just my back from having been bent over my console the whole day,” he lied without blushing. He wouldn't tell John the true reason for his confusion, no way, he'd rather die before telling him that he was jealous of his two exes.

“I will massage your shoulders later,” John promised, his voice sounding a little bit huskily as he reached out and stroked Rodney's cheek. Rodney blinked and felt a new wave of red heat creeping in his face. Damn it. He had blushed more during the last three days than he had blushed in his entire life before. “That would be great,” he croaked out after clearing his throat twice.

Katie broke the spell with her pleased giggle. “Awe! You two are sooo cute together. Rodney you really should have learned that you don't need to blush every time John says such things to you. How long do you are together now? Three years? And you still blush just like you did when you were freshly mated.”

Rodney gaped at her, desperately searching for an answer, but the sound of the opening door leading to the kitchen spared him the answer to that statement.

Jennifer rushed into the living room, carrying two large steaming bowls. “Oh, Jenny, let me do this!” Katie came to her help. “You cooked the whole meal all alone, so let me take the bowls and plates.”

Jennifer handed her the bowls and then embraced John to kiss him on his stubbly cheeks like Katie had done. Rodney steeled himself for the inevitable and tried not to flinch as the blonde doctor embraced him after wards, too, her fresh sweet and so well-known perfume overwhelming his senses. He placed a chaste kiss on each of her smooth cheeks and drew back as soon as he could without being impolite. Jennifer smiled at him and for one moment, Rodney was torn between the wish to pull her close and never let her go again and the strong urge to turn around on his heels and flee from this place as fast as he could.

The feeling of John's warm hand on his back, reassuringly and comforting helped him to suppress this urge and calm down again. He didn't realize that he had leaned in until he felt John's hand traveling up his shoulder-blades until it was wrapped around his upper arm, squeezing it gently. Rodney laid his head upon John's shoulder as a great tiredness made his knees buckle.

“Come on, Mer, sit down. You worked all day long and you will feel better soon, after eating from this delicious meal,” John urged him to the table, pulling the chair for him to sit down. Rodney gratefully slumped down on it and John sat down beside him while Katie and Jennifer busied themselves with filling the plates and glasses of their guests.

Rodney's mouth watered by the smell of the cross fried steaks, the potatoes and the creamy brown sauce. Even the vegetables looked and smelled delicious and Rodney felt hungry like a wolf all of a sudden.

He looked up at Jennifer and gifted her with a honest and true smile. “Thank you for cooking such a wonderful meal, Jenny, “ he said softly and the blonde smiled back. “You're welcome, Rod,” she answered. “You are our best friends and it is always a pleasure to cook for you and spend time with you.”

They looked each other in the eyes until John beside him cleared his throat and raised his glass. “What about a toast for our charming hosts and enjoying this meal after wards, then?” he asked huskily and Rodney followed his example. “Yes! A toast for two wonderful friends. If I hadn't already found my soul-mate in John, then I surely would be in love with you two charming women,” he stated, flinching slightly at his own words, not knowing what had gotten into him to say this. John who just had taken a sip from his wine began to cough, but Katie and Jennifer giggled, very pleased.

“Uh, Rod, you're always so charming and so quick-witted!” Katie laughed, wiping away her tears of laughter. “Of course, you wouldn't be in love with neither of us. But, you always give us the feeling that we are special to you, so thank you! And now, please, enjoy your meal!”

Rodney grinned and began to eat. Maybe, this evening wouldn't be as awful as he first had thought.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

The meal had been one of the best meals Rodney had ever had and the conversation had been easy and lighthearted. Even John had joined their friendly chatting and teasing after he had been silent and strangely distracted during the first ten minutes.

Now, they sat on the comfortable sofa drinking another bottle of wine and Rodney felt relaxed and slightly drunk. Not much, but the heavy wine, his worries and his exhaustion had boosted the effect the alcohol had on him and he felt warm, carefree and a little bit dazed and numb.

Jennifer and Katie sat cuddled up opposite them on the other couch and Rodney snuggled a little bit closer to John while they laughed about a joke the hazel-eyed colonel had told. He looked up to catch the expression on John's face and John glanced back, amused sparkles dancing in his hazel eyes making them even more beautiful as they already were.

Suddenly, time stood still. They stared at each other and Rodney noticed a hunger in John's eyes he had never seen there before. He didn't know how much time had past as he suddenly heard Katie's amused voice.

“You're allowed to kiss, you know that? Jenny and I already were a little bit worried that something was wrong between the two of you. You didn't kiss the entire evening.”

Rodney blinked, but before he could do or say anything, John lowered his head a little bit and gently pressed his lips on Rodney's trembling mouth, his hand cupping his cheek to keep Rodney from moving away.

Rodney instinctively closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of John's soft warm lips pressing on his own to the fullest.

All he knew that he would have died gladly now if the last thing he would feel was John kissing him. When John felt that Rodney wouldn't object, his kiss became more firm, his soft lips moving over his own, nibbling and pressing and nibbling again. Rodney moaned silently and returned the kiss with longing and ardor, forgetting everything else.

John opened his lips a little bit and his curios tongue slipped out of it, licking over Rodney's tingling bottom lip until Rodney allowed him access and opened his mouth to let him in. He hesitantly touched it with his own and their tongues began to dance around each other in the same old dance so many couples before them had danced, licking, caressing, stroking and touching until Rodney's mind was spinning with lust and the need for more than just kissing.  
John's twenty-four-hour stubble scratched gently over his own stubbly cheek as John tilted his head to the side to kiss him deeper and the feeling made Rodney shiver with arousal. He smelled John's tempting and so very male scent that was filling his nose and his senses until there wasn't room for anything else than the feeling of John's lips upon his own, his tongue caressing his own tongue like no one else had ever done before and the strong arms holding him tight and pressing him close to John's well-trained body.

The kiss went on for an eternity until Rodney thought that he would black out the very next second from both, the lack of air in his lungs and the almost painful pleasure this incredible kiss had aroused in him. John hesitantly drew back from him, stroking with his thumb over his swollen and bruised lips, looking him deep in the eyes. John's eyes were dark and his pupils dilated with his own arousal.

“Oh, wow, this answers our question if you are fine pretty well, I guess,” Jennifer finally stated, sounding a little bit out of breath, as if watching this kiss had aroused her, too. She had pulled Katie close to her and both looked stunned and had rosy cheeks.

Rodney cleared his throat. “Uhm, yes, thank you. It were just a few hard days, nothing serious,” he mumbled, his whole body screaming for more kisses and much more than only kisses. He tried not to look at John's groin, but when he rose to get on his feet, he caught a short glance at the obvious bulge underneath the tight black jeans and his throat suddenly felt dry like sandpaper.

“Would you mind if we say good night and leave?” he ground out and Katie and Jennifer both shook her head in unison, vigorously. “Of course, not, Rod,” Jennifer snickered and stood up to accompany her guests to the door. Katie stayed where she was, waving at them and kissing the air to send her kiss through the air to the two men.

John smiled at her and kissed Jennifer on her cheeks, murmuring “good night” before he pulled Rodney out of the quarters before he even had had the chance for saying a proper good night himself.

“John, what are you doing?” he asked confused, but John didn't speak, just pulled him to the next transporter and then through the empty corridor until they reached their quarters.

He gently pushed Rodney into their bedroom and said: “I will sleep on the couch tonight.” before he closed the door to the living room with a determined 'plopp'.


	6. Interesting News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John had dinner with Rodney's two exes and they kissed after this dinner for the very first time. Now, Rodney has to deal not only with his feelings after this kiss, but also with John's strange behavior. And as if this were not enough, there is a visitor coming to Atlantis with interesting news...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was much easier to write and I hope that you will like it as much as the last one!  
> Those of you who know some of my other stories probably know that I love Todd and the Wraith. Todd will never be the bad guy in my stories and I will always write about him in a good way. If some of you loathe or hate the thought of nice Wraith, especially Todd, he or she better stop reading this story now. He will play an important role in this chapter and he will be the one who finally 'forces' Rodney and John to become true soul-mates...  
> Anyway, enjoy reading this chapter and please, let me know if you liked it!

Rodney stared at the closed door, stunned and speechless. “But, you can sleep in our bed...” he murmured confused, although John of course, couldn't hear his silent murmur through the closed door.  
He reached out with his hand as if he wanted to pull John back into the room and let it drop down again, swallowing hard against his disappointment and shame.

John surely didn't want to sleep in the same bed with him any longer because he had noticed his arousal and eagerness and he most likely loathed the thought of Rodney desiring him. This must be the reason for John's decision, because he had insisted on sleeping in the comfortable bed after their arrival that forcefully and Rodney had gotten used to John's reassuring presence in his bed very quickly.

Rodney stood there, frozen in place and it took him a while to realize that John had meant what he had said and that he wouldn't change his mind and come to him. Finally, he slowly turned around and crossed the bedroom with heavy steps and his head hanging low to go to the bathroom and get ready for bed.

Then he lay there in the darkness wide awake, unable to find the rest he needed so badly, tossing and turning and craving for John lying next to him. If he hadn't felt as depressed as he actually did, he probably would have laughed out loud, because it was simply ridiculous that he couldn't sleep without John lying next to him any longer. Only a couple of days before that night, he had thought that he would never be able to sleep with John lying next to him and now, only a very short amount of time later, he had to face the truth that he actually needed John's presence in his bed to be able to fall asleep and sleep peacefully a whole night.

He turned on his other side again, embracing his pillow, closing his eyes and tried to count sheep. He forced his mind to focus only on the white fluffy sheep jumping over a large fence one after the other and when the first light of the daybreak turned the darkness in the room into gray, the shadows of a restless slumber finally claimed him, gifting his troubled mind with some kind of peace for a few remaining hours.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

Hours later, Rodney's attempts to focus on his work in the lab weren't really successfully and he heaved a relieved sigh as his radio beeped and Elizabeth called him to her office.

The morning simply had been horrible. When he had woken up from his light and restless slumber, haunted by nightmares all through the night, John had not been in their quarters. A short note had told him that the hazel-eyed colonel was taking his morning run and when Rodney had left their quarters to grab a hasty breakfast, he still hadn't been back from his run.

John eventually had joined him during the breakfast Rodney had had with Teyla and Ronon, smiled at him and briefly kissed him on his cheek as if everything was all right and nothing strange had happened between them. Rodney had tried to smile back, even though it probably had looked like a faked grin and he also had registered Teyla's concerned look and remembered what she had said about her ability to sense the soul-bond or, in their case, the lack of this special bond between true mates.

Rodney ended the talk via radio with Elizabeth and forced his thoughts back on his surroundings.  
Radek smiled at him as Rodney informed him about Elizabeth's call. “Of course, Rodney, don't worry. We are on the right track here, and we will be able to continue for a while without your help. Just go to her. She didn't call you for no reason.”

“Thank you, Radek,” Rodney murmured and Raded considered him for one moment thoughtfully. “Is everything okay, Rodney? You look pale and worried,” he asked with true interest and care in his voice.

Rodney swallowed and managed a weak smile. Inwardly, he called himself a fool that he had shown his state of mind so obviously, but, Radek's friendship and real care was something he had come to truly appreciate and he asked himself not for the first time if he would be able to build such a friendship with his own Radek, as well, after their return.

“Yes, Radek. I think I just ate too much from the delicious dinner and I couldn't sleep well with my stomach filled with so much food. That's all. But, thank you for asking,” he added quietly and Radek patted his shoulder. “You're welcome, Rodney. Now, go to Elizabeth, we will work on the solution while you're in her office.”

Rodney nodded and left the lab, deeply lost in his thoughts, hoping that John wouldn't stay away from his the forthcoming night again.

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

John had already been there, when Rodney had entered Dr. Weir's office. Teyla had been there, too, together with Ronon and Major Lorne.

Elizabeth hadn't said much, only told him that they were waiting for an important visitor and now, Rodney was standing in the Gate-room with John by his side, waiting for the unknown visitor to arrive. When he finally did, he didn't came alone and not only John by his side tensed with surprise and mistrust, but also he himself.

Rodney watched Todd, the ancient Wraith Commander strolling through the Gate, his second Kenny in tow, as if he had all rights to be here and he didn't look worried that the New Lanteans could easily trap or attack him. Quite the opposite, he smiled as if he was used to strolling through the Gate and visit Atlantis and judging by Elizabeth's warm welcome, he obviously was.

Elizabeth greeted him with a honest smile and offered him her right hand, and the ancient Commander returned the smile, took the offered hand and bowed before the female civilian leader of Atlantis as he pressed a chaste kiss on the back of her hand.

The whole gesture expressed such a familiarity between them and even a true friendship that Rodney couldn't suppress his surprised gasp.

“Todd, Kenny! It's good to see you again! How are you?” Elizabeth asked the tall creature and Todd bowed his head again. “We are fine, Elizabeth, thank you for asking,” he assured her and Elizabeth made an inviting gesture towards the exit. “Please, come with us to the conference room. It will be much more comfortable for us to talk to each other there. You sent us a note that you found what we were looking for for so long?”

“Indeed, Elizabeth, indeed.” Todd smiled at her before he stepped forward to greet the others waiting a few steps behind Elizabeth, as well. He bowed before Teyla and touched her forehead with his own in the Athosian way and then, turned to Major Lorne and Ronon to say hello to them.

Rodney had expected Ronon to growl and snap threatening to kill Todd as his own Ronon always did, but, to his surprise, Ronon even smiled at the Wraith. Rodney watched the scene with his mouth hanging open until he remembered that he had to play the role of his counterpart who surely wouldn't be surprised about Ronon's strange behavior, at all.

Kenny followed Todd like a shadow, remaining silent except for a brief 'hello' to Elizabeth, his eyes never leaving his Commander and Rodney could see the devotion in his gaze. This time, it didn't take long until he realized what that meant – of course, Todd and his second were soul-mates, too.

When Todd finally turned to face John and he himself, he frowned slightly, but he said nothing, only watched both of them closely as he shook their hands, expressing his pleasure to see them well and healthy.

Elizabeth beckoned all of them to the conference room and Rodney sat down beside John, waiting for Todd to tell them what he wanted from them. Kenny hadn't sat down, he stood behind his Commander, serving him with the red wine Elizabeth had offered and Rodney watched this strange behavior with disbelief until John gently punched him in his side. It was obvious that the Todd of this reality took the strict hierarchy of the Wraith culture much more serious than the Todd of their own reality. Kenny seemed to be happy and content with his role and Rodney had to admit that it was nothing of his own business.

He was also amazed that Elizabeth offered a heavy red wine during these negotiations, but, when Todd began to speak, he quickly became aware of the fact that this Atlantis already had built a strong alliance with Todd and his twelve Hives, because he spoke to her as a friend and not as a future ally.

“I was able to find the coordinates of the planet we were searching for, Elizabeth. It took us some time and a lot of research in the old data we found in one of the ancient Wraith facilities, but, I do believe that we found the right ones. If I'm not mistaken, the stories about one planet where some of the Ancients withdrew and maybe still live are correct and I do believe that we will be able to go there and meet them.”

He shot a brief look at John and Rodney and pursed his lips. “The only problem I see is the fact that they certainly will only talk to someone carrying the natural gene and that they will only talk to someone who has found his true soul-mate,” he drawled in his dark multi-toned voice and Rodney swallowed. He should have thought of it, earlier. Of course, if Teyla could sense the bond, then, Todd would be able to sense it, as well, his mental abilities were much stronger than Teyla's.

“What happened to your bond, John Sheppard? It was always the strongest one I ever felt, apart from my own with Kenny and the bond between Elizabeth and Teyla. What happened to let this strong bond break?”

For one long moment, there was only stunned silence, but then, Elizabeth sighed and began to explain to the two Wraith what had happened during the last days.

Todd listened to her without interruption, sipping from his wine from time to time, while Kenny had laid his hand on his shoulder in a reassuring gesture. Rodney couldn't help but stare at them, musing briefly about his own ability to sense the strong bond between the two old Wraith, torn between his fascination and his disgust. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to imagine two Wraith in bed, but, he couldn't force his eyes away from them, feeling an almost morbid fascination as he watched their familiar interactions.

John's face stayed impassive as Rodney shot him a quick sidelong glance, but, his jaw was working as if he was chewing on the same question as he did. When he felt Rodney's eyes upon him, he wrapped his arm around his shoulder and stroked absentmindedly his upper arm, but, he didn't look at him.

When Elizabeth had told the Wraith all that she knew herself, the Wraith slowly nodded his head. “I see. It's understandable now why I couldn't feel the true soul-bond between the two of you, although I can sense a strong connection between you,” he said, addressing John and Rodney directly.

“Unfortunately, the Ancients will sense the lack of the bond, as well. If we really wish to negotiate with them, you have to form a soul-bond. You might deceive most of the New Lanteans living here in Atlantis, at least the ones who are 'head-blind' and not able to sense the bond, but, you will never be able to deceive the Ancients themselves or any other Wraith. My Wraith will notice the lack of your bond, instantly and I have to admit that I'm a little bit worried about their reaction.”

“And that should be the case why?” John asked, his voice slightly impatient and annoyed.

Todd looked questioningly at the female leader of the city and Elizabeth nodded her head. “Please, Todd, explain the situation to them. You know the history of this universe, especially this galaxy, like no one else and you certainly will be able to pass on the importance of our soul-bonds to John and Rodney much better than I could.”

Todd nodded contentedly. “Very well, Elizabeth.” He looked at John and Rodney as he began to speak:

“In every single culture in this universe, whether in your Milky Way Galaxy or here in Pegasus, or in every other galaxy we know, the soul-bonds between two mates of the same gender is the most important bond. Everything else is based on this special bond. Families, tribes, nations, everything. To find his or her soul-bonded mate is the ultimate goal for every sentient living being here. Negotiations always take their place between couples who are soul-bonded. If you want to negotiate or build an alliance between nations, planets or tribes, you have to go there with your soul-mate or invite the heads of that nations and tribes together with their soul-mates even if the mate has nothing to do with politics.  
When 'my' John Sheppard and I first met, after Kolya had trapped him, he had become Rodney's soul-mate only few months ago. I hadn't seen my soul-mate for more than ten years and I was about to give up my hopes and even my life when he convinced me to break out and flee with him. He didn't only give me my life back, but also the possibility to return to my mate and renew our bond. We had been mates for millenia and perhaps, you can imagine how we both felt when we were reunited after more than a decade.”

Todd paused for one moment and gently laid his hand upon Kenny's and the stern face of the other Wraith lit up with a happy smile for just one tiny second.

“After my reunion with Kenny and after I had reclaimed my position as the Commander of an alliance of twelve powerful Hives, I came to Atlantis and suggested an alliance, because I would never have allowed one of the Hives to attack the city where the human lived who had given back to me what truly matters in our lives – the reunion with my soul-mate. Of course, Elizabeth was mistrustfully at first, because she had seen me feeding on her John, but she gave it a try and our alliance truly works since then. Every inhabitant of this city knows that no Wraith of my alliance would ever feed on one of them and there is no mistrust or hate between us.”

He smiled at Ronon who to Rodney's surprise, smiled back. “Ronon was the hardest part, he hated every Wraith and would have liked to kill us, but, he changed his mind after I had saved his soul-mate's life during a mission.” He nodded in Major Lorne's direction and the young Major grinned and pressed Ronon's hand. “Yes, Ronon changed his mind after that mission and he even trains with Todd from time to time. You should see them fighting, it's breathtaking!” Lorne exclaimed excitedly and Rodney flinched, because the Major had been pretty loud.

“So, you have to understand why it is so important that only true soul-mates come with us to that planet and unfortunately it has to be you, John Sheppard, because you have the strongest natural gene and you most likely will be accepted as a true descendant and heir of their citiy by the Ancients we hopefully will find there.”

Rodney cleared his throat. “Why not waiting with the mission until your John Sheppard and Rodney returned here? This would solve the problem, right?” he asked and John nodded in agreement. “Yes, this would be the best solution, right?”

Todd slowly shook his head. “I would agree with you if this were an option, believe me. But, unfortunately, it's not. We have to find the planet within the next two months. The Ancients created some kind of temporal shield around their planet and the chance to reach this planet offers itself only every five hundred years. They withdrew to that place at the end of the horrible war ten thousand years ago and they created a shield you can come through only once in five hundred years. Maybe, they did so to make sure that the war would be over if someone found them, maybe, they had other reasons, we will know it if we will actually get there. We simply cannot wait until our John and Rodney return. It has to be the two of you,” the Wraith stated firmly and Rodney desperately gulped for air.

“But, we are not soul-bonded!” he stammered and Todd pulled a face. “Yes, that's clear to detect, McKay, believe me. But, there is a bond between the two of you, a strong bond. And it surely can be turned into a true soul-bond rather easily.”

Rodney tensed and stared at the Wraith with wide eyes and John's hand around his shoulder unconsciously tightened its grip, the fingertips digging painfully in Rodney's upper arm.

“And how shall we do this? Become 'soul-mates'? Do we have to sleep together?” John finally asked, his voice sounding strange and hoarse as he asked this question. Rodney swallowed again, because he inwardly had asked himself the same question, but, he suspected that there was more about this bond than just sleeping together. Although this part would have been hard enough for him. He didn't even dare thinking about other things they might have to do to form this odd bond.

Todd smiled with grim amusement. “Of course, you also have to sleep together,” he drawled, rasing his not existing eyebrow meaningfully. “But, that's only one side of being true soul-mates. You first have to go to the place where every couple goes when they think that they are true soul-mates and pass the exams to prove that you found the right mate. You have to go to this place, prove yourselves and then, you have to strengthen your bond with giving yourselves to each other unquestioningly.”

Rodney listened to the Wraith's words and all he could do was staring at Todd with horror and disbelief.


	7. Ready To Become Soul-Mates?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Todd told John and Rodney what they have to do to find a special planet with living Ancients. Will Rodney and John really agree and go through the bonding process? And what will they have to do to become true soul-mates?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little bit shorter, but, I try to update the next asap, I promise. The bonding will be one or two chapters long and I do hope that you will like it. It is pretty late in Germany, I will have a look at possible typos and errors tomorrow again.
> 
> I want to say thank you to all of you again, I'm happy that you like this story and please, keep up your great support! :-)

“N-n-no no no no! You c-c-can't b-b-be serious! You can't force us to become soul-mates! This simply isn't possible! We can't do this!” Rodney eventually burst out after he had stared at Todd in horror for ages. He turned to John who sat there, in complete silence and stiff as a poker, his face impassive, but with a fire burning in his eyes Rodney couldn't quite detect. John didn't look at him, but, his posture told Rodney that he was very aware of Rodney's reproachful glances at him.

“Do we have another chance?” John asked, addressing no one in the room in particular and Rodney balled his fists, his short nails digging painfully in his palms as his hands clenched.

Elizabeth's gaze became regretfully as she slowly shook her head. “I'm sorry, but, I don't think so. You must understand that we searched for this planet and the opportunity to get there for more than two years. If there is really no other chance to find this place within the next five hundred years, then, we have to try it now. And if there is no chance to get there, than the two of you becoming soul-mates, then, please, I really have to ask you to do it. Maybe, your bond can be reversed before you go back to your own reality.” She smiled apologetically at Rodney and John, but her gaze was firm and determined and Rodney could tell that she wouldn't give up on her attempts to persuade them and maybe even consider to force them to become soul-mates.

Todd spoke up again, his eyes filled with regret and understanding. “There is still the chance that your bond won't be accepted,” he said, but Rodney could hear that he truly doubted that. Todd had already said that he could feel a 'strong connection' between them, whatever this connection might be about and Teyla's reassuring look at Elizabeth left no doubts that she thought that the bonding would be successfully, either.

“And what does we have to do for this bonding?” John demanded hoarsely, still ignoring Rodney's pleading glances.

The ancient Wraith Commander and the Athosian leader exchanged a quick glance and when Todd nodded, Teyla began to explain the bonding process to Rodney and John.

“There is a planet in this galaxy where you have to go for the bonding. When two people who want to bond with each other go to this place, the planet 'calls' for them if they are ready to become soul-mates and it leads them to a special place. Every couple will have their own special place for the bonding and this actually is the first proof, because, if the planet 'doesn't' call for you, you can't bond with each other. We are not sure, but my people always believed that the Ancients built this place for the soul-bonding. You also don't have to be afraid that you will be attacked by any other being that might be there, every race knows the meaning of this planet and every couple has to go there, no matter if they are human, Wraith or any other kind of sentient living beings. No Wraith will try to harm you on this planet and no human will do so, either.”

Teyla paused and John frowned. Rodney was still too shocked to ask some questions, but John did it for him. “And what will happen there if the planet 'calls' for us and leads us to this special place?” he inquired and Teyla smiled sympathetically at him.

“This, you have to find out by yourselves, John, because every couple will be tested in their own way and the exams you have to pass will be different from the ones other couples have to go through. All I can tell you is that you will be in some kind of stasis and that it is a thing of your minds and hearts. If you pass the tests and will be considered as true soul-mates, then the device will form a mental bond between you that will make you soul-mates. We don't know if the device could also break this mental bond again, maybe, the bond will be removed when you leave our reality, but normally, only the death of one of the mates breaks the bond.”

Rodney swallowed audibly. “You can sense the bond and Todd can sense it, as well. I can feel that you belong together, but I can't sense a strong bond. Will John and I feel our own bond?” he asked, confused and a little bit scared.

Elizabeth nodded her head. “Of course, Rodney. You will also know if your mate is healthy and alive when you are apart,” she informed him and now, John turned his head and looked at Rodney. His hazel eyes watched Rodney with such a strange and intense expression that Rodney felt a shiver running down his spine. “And there is really no other chance to find this hidden planet with the Ancients maybe still living there, than from now on within the next two months and with Rodney and me being 'soul-mates'?” John finally wanted to know, his eyes never leaving the scientist's face as he asked this question.

“Unfortunately, not,” Todd confirmed and John took a deep breath.

“Fair enough, Rodney and I will try to bond with each other, then,” he said, his gaze demanding Rodney's agreement as forcefully that all Rodney could do was nodding, reluctantly and scared, but without hesitation.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------

 

Todd and Kenny had accompanied them to that planet, because Elizabeth and Teyla were needed in Atlantis and it would have aroused suspicions if they had left Atlantis with John and Rodney. They couldn't tell the other inhabitants what John and Rodney wanted to do, because they all thought that John and Rodney already were true soul-mates, apart from Ronon, Major Lorne and the young Marine who had been a witness of their arrival.

Elizabeth had sent them on an 'off-world-mission' with Todd and Kenny and no one had asked some questions, because it was common use that their counterparts went on missions with Todd and Kenny on a regular basis.

Now, they stood beside the dialing console and Rodney wished nothing more than to leave this place again. His fingers twitched with the need to dial the address of Atlantis and his legs moved restless with the need to jump back through the blue waves of the event horizon and seek shelter in the relative safety of the Ancient's city. It was a beautiful and peaceful planet, but, Rodney didn't feel like enjoy the untamed nature, the warm sun and the birds singing cheerfully in the blue sky, all he could think of was that he had to bond with John and that John most likely would know then that Rodney loved him in a way he wasn't supposed to love his friend and team-leader.

He tried to listen to what Todd was saying when he felt a soft whisper in his head all of a sudden. His head jerked up and when he looked at John, he could see that John had 'heard' this strange, soft whisper, as well. They looked at each other and Rodney longed to touch John and to be touched by him. Judging by John's gaze, he wanted to do the same.

Todd smirked as he noticed the similar expression on both faces. “Ah, you're already hearing the call,” he stated dryly, watching them closely. Rodney blinked, confused, because the whisper became more urgent with every second that passed and Rodney could feel his mind changing. Suddenly, he didn't want to go back to Atlantis, but, to the place that called for John and him so demanding and tempting at the same time. “Yes, we are,” John admitted hoarsely his gaze flickering over the hills craning their heads in the blue sky several kilometers away.

“Just go there. We will wait here for you,” Todd assured them and John only nodded his head and turned around, heading to the direction where the call came from. “You coming, Rodney?” he asked back over his shoulder and Rodney hurried to follow him, longing for something he couldn't quite understand, not looking back at the two Wraith who watched them leave in silence.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

Rodney had followed John through bushes and wilderness, without speaking, both of them only focused on the whisper in their heads telling them where they had to go. John hadn't said anything, either, but, he had taken the lead and held the twigs and branches of the trees and bushes out of Rodney's way and Rodney was touched and grateful because John had never behaved like this before when they had been on a mission. He didn't act like his team-leader, but as if he really was his mate.

They had wandered through the unknown nature for hours with single-minded determination, craving to reach the place where they could bond with each other. Rodney didn't even complain one single time, what he normally would have done just from force of sheer habit. After four hours of proper walking, they reached the base of the small mountains, turning to the left where they most likely would find the place calling out for them. John had slowed down, searching for the entrance to the cave so they finally could bond with each other, at least if they passed the exams.

The 'call' had become louder with every kilometer they had come closer to the location where they would reach their destiny and now, the 'whisper' was as loud and demanding that Rodney's head began to hurt. The lines in John's face showed that he felt the same pressure and heard the same noise in his head and Rodney hoped that they would find the cave very soon, because he couldn't concentrate on their surroundings and their way any longer because of this strange demanding voice in his head.

When they eventually did, both of them heaved a relieved sigh and Rodney almost ran to it, John close by his side. They entered the cave together and the dark tunnel lit up in a dark orange light that became brighter when they made their way into the dark hole of the cave that swallowed them like the giant mouth of a hungry monster. After several hundred meters, the tunnel opened to a rather large natural grown hall and Rodney could see two pods made of a material looking like milky glass that reminded Rodney of the stasis pods the Ancient's had used. The scientist in Rodney could see small differences to the ones in Atlantis and they looked even older than the pods in the city, but, that was probably because they were meant for the bonding and not for a true stasis that could last for centuries.

There was a low and silent humming in the cool air of the stony hall and Rodney craved to go to the left bond and start the exams that would make John and he himself true soul-mates. The pods were open and the light emanating from them pulsed slightly in the frequency of a calm and steady heartbeat. Rodney looked at John who considered him, thoughtfully.

“I want to go there,” Rodney said impatiently and John smiled almost wistfully. He reached out and stroked Rodney's cheek. “Are you sure, Mer?” he asked quietly and Rodney vigorously nodded his head. Nothing else was important any longer. All he wanted to do was step into the pod and bond with John. He had loved John for so long, wanted him for so long and he wanted to be his soul-mate. Not, because this special place forced them to do so, but, because he loved John with all his heart.

“Very well, then,” John said after one last gaze into Rodney's eyes, making his way to the right pod.

Rodney headed to the left pod and stepped into it, closing his eyes, because the bright light and the low, but intense humming overwhelmed his senses. The pod closed when he had taken his place in it and something lowered itself onto his head, enclosing it tightly. The last thing he felt before a strange darkness swallowed him was the soft touch of John's mind, gently and reassuring and then, all went black.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

 _Rodney:_

 

_Rodney carefully took his tablet and looked around in the cafeteria of his new school. He hated it to be the new pupil and most of all, he hated it to be the youngest one in his class all the time, just because he was so clever that he had skipped two classes and joined directly the graduating class of the high school. His knuckles turned white with the effort of holding his tray filled with a large amount of food pressed close to his body like a shield protecting him against the other pupils. His eyes flickered around and when he noticed the lonely table in one corner of the cafeteria, he carefully started to make his way to that table, walking slalom around the other tables where his classmates were sitting, his eyes only looking down at his tray and not up at the other teenagers sitting there, chatting and laughing._

_Rodney was so focused on that table and on carrying his overload tray without spilling the contents of the bowls that he didn't notice the person stepping into his way right in time. He bumped into the tall and broadly built teenager and his tray slipped from his hands and crashed down on the floor as he tried to keep his balance and stay upright on his feet._

_Rodney stared at the mess he had made, a dark redness creeping into his face. He tried to move, but couldn't, standing in the middle of the cafeteria frozen in place and wishing for a hole opening in the ground to swallow him._

_“You made my boots dirty. You will lick them clean!” A low dangerous voice growled into his ear._

_Rodney flinched, reluctantly raising his eyes to the guy invading his space, grinning maliciously at him. Rodney gulped for air and his face paled as he saw the pure hate and malice in the nasty eyes watching him like a big cat would watch its prey. “Kneel down and lick my boots clean!” Bill, one of his classmates, commanded and Rodney knew that he would be in trouble if he didn't obey. Bill was_ _much stronger than he himself and the captain of the football team and Rodney would never be able to defend himself against him._

_Rodney slowly wanted to get down on his knees when a hand grabbing his arm kept him from doing so._

_“Rodney did nothing wrong. You were the one stepping in his way and making him lose his balance. You will collect the bowls, clean up the mess and buy him a new meal,” someone said next to Rodney, his voice calm and self-confident and it was clear that this was an order and not a request._

_Rodney hesitantly turned his head and looked at his unknown saver. His heart skipped a beat and then, started to race as he realized who had come to his help. He had noticed the guy instantly when he had joined the class three days ago and every time their eyes had met, Rodney's heart had missed several beats and an army of butterflies deep in his stomach had flapped with their wings, excitedly and happily._

_John Sheppard was the most beautiful sight Rodney had ever seen with his messy dark hair, the slight dark stubble on his cheeks and those wonderful hazel eyes watching him with a strange expression from time to time. Rodney had also noticed the aura of melancholy surrounding the other guy and he had felt drawn in to him right from the beginning. John never teased him or laughed at him, only watched him, silently and intently and as strange as it was, but, the other kids teased him less whenever John was around and Rodney unconsciously had begun to seek his presence. He hadn't noticed that John had been in the cafeteria, too, but, he was deeply grateful that the other guy had come to his help and he smiled shyly at him._

_The hazel eyes of John Sheppard were focused on Bill, but, his hand on Rodney's arm radiated warmth and reassurance and Rodney instinctively moved closer to the other guy, seeking comfort and shelter in his closeness._

_Bill raised his chin in defiance. “This has nothing to do with you, John,” he said, but, Rodney could hear the doubt and the frustration in the bully's voice, stepping forward in the attempt to intimidate John who was a little smaller and not as broadly built as the captain of the football team._

_The sharp pieces of the shattered bowls crunched under his boots and Rodney flinched by the nerve-racking sound._

_Rodney licked his lips, trying to step back nervously, but John didn't fall back before the taller guy and he also didn't loose his grip around his elbow and so Rodney stayed where he was, either, taking a deep breath._

_“It has all to do with me. Rodney is my friend. If you attack him, you will also attack me and you know what will happen if you attack me. You won't touch him and you will leave him alone in the future, am I understood?” John demanded and his natural authority actually made Bill step back. John only looked at him and Bill finally nodded, mumbling something that probably could be considered as an agreement, crouching down on the floor to collect the pieces of the bowls and the left-overs of the food and put them back onto the tray._

_It was only then when Rodney realized that everyone in the cafeteria was watching them, silently and stunned. He looked at John and now, John turned his head and smiled at him. It was only a brief and crooked smile, but it made Rodney fall in love with his hazel-eyed saver, immediately and completely and without any chance of keeping his stupid heart from loving John unquestioningly and with all force his heart possessed._


	8. Never Let You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John are on that special planet where they can bond with each other and have to prove that they are true soul-mates.  
> They are 'trapped' in some kind of pods similar to the ones in Atlantis and their minds are connected with each other. Are they just dreaming or is this what they 'see' truly real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It took a while longer to write this chapter than I had expected and I do hope that you will like it. I had to 'change' the happenings before they find and reach Atlantis a little bit and I created another past for John and Rodney. I don't know that much about flying with an helicopter and I hope that my fantasy isn't too wrong and too far from reality. After all, this is fanfiction and not everything has to be as it is in reality. 
> 
> Enjoy reading the new chapter, and please, give me feedback, leave kudos or comments if you liked it, it is hard to write a WIP without knowing what you're thinking about it. A million thanks to all of you who will do! :-)

_The next minutes went by in a complete haze and when Rodney finally was able to detect and recognize his surroundings again, he found himself sitting at one of the tables in the center of the cafeteria, a new tray with his favorite food placed in front of him._

_John sat opposite him at the other side of the table, watching him silently and closely. He had another tray with food, but didn't make any attempt to eat, he just watched Rodney who had picked up his fork to distract himself from the intense gaze of the incredible hazel eyes and his own unexpected overwhelming feelings for the other boy._

_When he finally wasn't able to stand the heavy and somehow awkward silence between them any longer, he lay his fork down on his plate again and looked up at his saver._

_“Why did you do this, John?” he asked shyly, still chewing on his food. John cocked his head to the side and smiled this crooked smile again that did incredible things with the lower regions of Rodney's body. Rodney was utterly grateful that he first was sitting and second wore a rather loosely falling trouser to hide his inappropriate arousal._

_“Because you are my friend, Rodney,” he simply stated, finally picking up his own fork, but, he didn't began to eat, just looked Rodney deep in the eyes.”You are my friend and nobody treats my friend this way.”_

_Rodney licked the sauce from his lips and John's eyes traveled down to Rodney's mouth and became darker as John watched his new friend moistening his smooth red lips. “Thank you, John,” Rodney murmured, blushing as John continued staring at his mouth. He swallowed audibly and John's eyes traveled back to Rodney's blue ones looking at him curiously and astonished._

_“You don't have to thank me, Rodney. You are my friend and I will never fail you and never let you you down. If you need me, I will be there, I promise you,” John said sincerely and Rodney felt a huge smile spread all over his face. He didn't know why, but, he trusted John and he was sure that John Sheppard had spoken the truth. This guy he had met only three days ago was his friend and he would never betray the faith Rodney put in him and never fail him. John Sheppard was meant to be his best friend and right at this moment, Rodney had a clear vision about his future with John Sheppard always being there whenever he would need him._

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

 

_The years went by and their friendship never broke although both of them chose different ways to live their lives. John Sheppard was meant to be a pilot and he joined the Air Force right after school, even though his father Patrick Sheppard had had other plans for him._

_Rodney was meant to be a scientist and he became one of the head scientists of a secret military program working on artificial intelligence and computer viruses to hack the systems of the governments of other countries. Rodney worked in a hidden high tech lab in the middle of nowhere in the Colorado Desert and was fine with that, although he missed John more than he wanted to admit._

_But, Rodney loved his job and he was content and happy where he was, being the most important scientist instead of the nerd for the first time and the only thing he missed was seeing John on a regular basis. They were still best friends and they met whenever they had the opportunity to meet, spending their time with stupid and funny car races, watching films, playing games or drinking beer sitting somewhere in the free nature and enjoying each other's company in silence._

_John had ordered Rodney to mail him every day so he would know that he was fine, and Rodney did so, although John oftentimes didn't have the opportunity to answer to his mails, but, Rodney knew that he would read them as soon as he was able to and that John felt better if he knew that Rodney was safe and healthy. They were only short mails, due to the fact that both of them weren't good with writing about feelings, but that was enough and Rodney never forgot writing one mail every day, no matter how tired or busied he might be. Rodney had never stopped loving John and he was very careful not to show the hazel-eyed major that his feelings for him were much deeper than they actually should be, but, he dwelt in the knowledge that John wanted to know every day how he was doing._

_Everything would have been perfect if there hadn't been one of the other scientists. Rodney had had to give his superiors the advice to fire the other man, because he was neither good in what he was doing at work, nor was he truly trustworthy. Will Tucker was an opportunist and Rodney couldn't use or stand such people in his team. When Tucker eventually was removed from his post, Rodney felt much better and was able to focus on his work again instead of dealing with defiant and useless coworker and he became absorbed in what he could do best once more, not wasting one single thought of Tucker any longer._

_He better should have done this, though, because the only thing he hadn't thought of was that Tucker would want to take vengeance on him. Tucker had hired some mercenaries and managed to hack their security system with the help of one of Rodney's female scientists Tucker had had a secret relationship with. Everything broke down and the mercenaries charged the facility and took over control, trapping Rodney and his coworkers, torturing him to get some information out of him._

_Rodney knew that he should have felt mortal fear and give them the information Tucker wanted to have, but, to his own surprise, he didn't feel any fear at all. John had promised to never fail him and Rodney was absolutely sure that John would come to rescue him. He hadn't mailed for two days by now and John would know that something was wrong. He would come and save him, no matter what and this knowledge helped Rodney to endure the horrible torture and keep his mouth shut._

_It was the fourth day and Rodney briefly wondered why he still felt as good as he did, being starved and tortured and he also wondered why his superiors hadn't tried to charge the facility themselves,_ _but, Tucker told him the reason when he came into his prison cell for the eighth time._

_Tucker grinned maliciously at him. “Ah, Rodney, you're such an intelligent man, but, you obviously still think that someone will come and rescue you. No one will come. They all think that you are dead and that the facility was destroyed by an explosion. Your superiors already are busied with building up another secret laboratory for their research and they won't come here for a rather long time to not arouse any suspicions,” he told him very smugly._

_Rodney just shrugged his shoulders. “You won't get what you want to have from me, Tucker, no way,” he only said. Maybe, his superiors wouldn't come, but, John would, Rodney simply knew that._

_Tucker narrowed his eyes. “You seem to be not convinced and I really would like to know why? Look, we killed all of your coworkers, you are the only one who's left and the only reason for that is that you have the information I need. I can make your life a living hell and I even have not begun to do that. So, you really should start to cooperate with me!”_

_Rodney shrugged again. “Just go ahead,” he simply said, turning away from the ugly scientist. Tucker roared with fury and tried to storm forward, but then, he cried out and fell down on the ground, grabbing his bleeding knee with both hands._

_Rodney turned around just in time to see John appear in the doorway to his prison cell. He was the most beautiful sight Rodney had seen ever since that day in the cafeteria._

_Rodney smiled at John and simply said: “I knew that you would come and save me, John.”_

_John returned his smile with the crooked grin Rodney had come to know and love so much, shrugging his shoulders. “Of course, I would. I promised to never let you down a long time ago, didn't I?”_

_He pointed with his weapon at the bleeding scientist winding on the dirty ground. “No one hurts and threatens my best friend, Tucker,” he stated almost nonchalantly. “You should have known that!”_

_Tucker roared again and felt for his own weapon on his belt, but, before he could shoot the hazel-eyed major, John made sure that Tucker would never ever hurt anybody else again with a deadpan expression on his handsome features._

_Rodney stumbled over the body lying on the floor, taking the hand John offered him and together, they made their way out of the destroyed building. “How did you find out that something was wrong?”_

_John shot him an astonished look. “Seriously, Mer?” Apart from his sister, John was the only one allowed to call Rodney by his secret first name. John had found out about it soon after that special day in the cafeteria and never called him by any other name since then when they were alone. He called him Rodney in front of others, but never when they were alone and undisturbed and Rodney loved it although he had always hated the name 'Meredith' his parents had chosen for him._

_“You didn't mail and I knew that something had to be wrong. I used some connections to find out what happened and took a helicopter to come here. Your stupid superiors believed what Tucker wanted them to believe, but, I knew that you were still alive.”_

_“You 'took' a helicopter?” Rodney asked incredulously, knowing exactly what that meant. “You know what that means, right?”_

_John only shrugged, pulling Rodney with him through the gloomy corridors. “Keeping my promise and saving you is worth everything, Mer,” he only remarked._

_Rodney let himself be pulled along, glad that John's arm was holding him after four days of starvation and torture and he heaved a relieved sigh when they finally reached the exit that led to the surface and the desert._

_“Did you shoot all of the mercenaries?” he asked, his voice thin and exhausted. John shook his head. “Not all of them, only the ones in the building. There are two outside the facility and they tried to shoot the helicopter. I hope that I will get us out of here.”_

_Rodney could see the whirlybird standing a few hundred meters away from the hidden entrance to the facility and he mused briefly about John's astonishing ability to get that close. The major had never been here and yet he had landed the helicopter as close to the entrance as he probably had been able to. John crouched down on the ground, watching the small hills with narrowed eyes._

_“Stay right behind me, Mer,” he ordered and Rodney obeyed, running with his torso bent forward through the desert right behind John as he gave him the sign. He mobilized all of the little strength he still possessed and when he reached the chopper, his vision was blurred and his lungs hurt with the effort of getting enough air into them. Bullets flew whistling through the air, hitting the dusty ground while they ran, but Rodney did what John had said to him, his faith in his best friend never leaving him. John had promised to get them out of here and he would do it, Rodney only had to do what John had told him to do._

_He climbed the helicopter with the last remaining ounce of his strength and then, he simply lay behind John's pilot seat while John started the engine and propelled them into the air. Rodney closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the engine and the 'ratatata' of the bullets the last two mercenaries shot after them before everything went black for a while._

_The next thing he knew was John shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes and blinked. “W-w-what?” John, still sitting in his seat had bent down to him and now let go off his shoulder when he saw that Rodney was awake._

_John smiled grimly. “One of the bullets hit the tank, Mer, we're losing gas. I also lost control of the navigation. We are near civilization, but, we won't make it there and we have to parachute. Unfortunately, we have only one, so I have to tie you to my body to bring us back to the ground. Do you think you can do this, Mer?”_

_Rodney stared at John, shocked and speechless for one moment. He suffered from vertigo and the thought of having to parachute scared the hell out of him, even more with the knowledge that he wouldn't have his own parachute, but be at complete mercy that the ropes wouldn't loosen themselves while he was tied to John._

_Rodney swallowed hard. John had never failed him and he wouldn't fail him now. “Yes, I can do this,” he ground out, although he began to tremble uncontrolled._

_John smiled. “I knew it, Mer. Trust me, I will bring you home, safe and healthy.”_

_Rodney could see that he already had prepared himself for the parachuting. Rodney got up at his feet with shaky legs feeling like jelly and John left the seat. The helicopter began to fly unsteady and Rodney knew that they had to hurry. John tied him to his body as if he had done this countless times before and when he was content with the knots tying them together, he gently pushed Rodney forward._

_Rodney stared into the abyss and nausea threatened to overwhelm him, but then, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, letting himself fall out of the tumbling whirlybird. John's weight threatened to choke him for one moment, but, then, they were in the air and all Rodney could feel was John's reassuring presence, his body almost wrapped around him and he let his best friend take the lead and bring them back on the ground, safe and healthy, knowing that the man who had become his life and his destiny a long time ago would never let him down and always be there for him whenever Rodney might need him._

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

_They had needed two days to reach the edge of civilization and Rodney didn't remember much of these two days. John had fed him with the water he had found as if he was born in this hostile surrounding and with the few energy bars he had had and some lizards he had hunted. Rodney normally would have retched only considering eating them, but, he was too starved and exhausted to care, gratefully that he had something to sate his burning hunger with whatever John might offer him. John had given him his own rations, too, he was a well-trained soldier and neither starved nor tortured and knew quite well that Rodney needed food much more than he himself right now._

_John half carried, half supported him through the wilderness and in the night, he curled himself around Rodney to keep him warm and comfort him. Rodney stumbled through the last kilometers and the second they reached a lonely road, he broke down and lost consciousness._

_When he woke up again, he lay in an infirmary bed, John sitting on a chair beside him, smiling at him._

_“Hey, Mer, you're awake again,” he said and Rodney thought for the third time in his life that John was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. His skin was sun-burned and peeling itself at his nose and his forehead, his stubble had grown and his eyes were bloodshot and tired, but, Rodney had the suspicion that he most likely looked the same way and the only thing that mattered to him was that John had saved him and that they were alive and more or less healthy._

_“Hey,” he said, his voice raw and hoarse. “You will be in trouble, right?”_

_John shrugged, grinning crookedly. “As I told you, Mer, you are worth everything. I saved you, this is the only thing that matters to me.” He reached out and gently stroked Rodney's stubbly and sun-burned cheek. “You are worth everything,” he repeated softly, his voice suddenly as hoarse as Rodney's. “Don't you ever doubt that, Mer.”_

 

\----------------------------------------------------

 

_Rodney slowly recovered from his adventures and the fact that John had saved the head scientist of the most important project the government had put a lot of money in saved John's ass somehow and made his punishment bearable._

_He was transferred to an outpost in Antarctica where they had found some interesting artifacts several years ago, especially a large 'ring' of an unknown material they wanted to explore. John was reduced to play the 'taxi-driver' for the important guests and heads of the expedition team and Rodney used his own connections to be transferred there, too. He wanted to be where John had to be because of him and he also wanted to explore these artifacts and find out who had left them there and what they were meant for._

_After months of research and exploration, Rodney found out that this 'ring' was a gate to another galaxy and a lost city called 'Atlantis' the unknown race they had named simply 'Ancients' had left there thousands of years ago._

_They also had found out that a special gene was needed to activate some of this unknown technology and that John Sheppard carried this special gene naturally and strongly._

_After three more months, they had cracked the code and were ready to go to this galaxy and explore the city Atlantis. Rodney would be the head scientist of this exploration and one evening, he came to John's quarter. John was still only the 'taxi-driver', but, he didn't seem to mind, as long as he could be near Rodney, playing the chauffeur was fine with him._

_"Hey, Mer,” John greeted him with his usual smile and Rodney's suppressed love for the other man rose to the surface again and threatened to break free._

_“Will you come with me when we'll go to Atlantis, John?” Rodney asked huskily and John's smile faded._

_“No one asked me to join the mission, Mer,” he replied and his voice had a strange undertone, just as if he had to fight against some strong emotions, as well._

_“You have the strongest gene, John. I already told them that we will need you and that I won't go there without you, John,” Rodney said and John's face lit up._

_“Of course, I will come with you then, Mer. To be honest, I thought about a way to follow you as a 'blind passenger', because there is no way that I will let you go to another galaxy alone and without me, Mer.”_

_Rodney beamed at him. “You don't have to think about this way any longer, John. You will be the second-in-command after Colonel Sumner. We will go there together, John or neither of us will do so.”_

_John returned his smile and after the preparations that took two more months, John and Rodney stepped through the wormhole side by side, ready to explore the unknown adventures waiting for them in another galaxy more than two million light-years away from Earth. A galaxy that would become their true home and their destiny._


	9. Faith And Trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John are still in these pods, forming their soul-bond. First, Rodney 'dreams' of the things he had to go through with John always by his side, and now, he 'dreams' of the bad things John has to endure with Rodney staying by his side. Will he be able to return the favor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a little bit tricky, because I want to write this story told only from Rodney's POV and to tell what happened to John, nonetheless. I hope that I was successful and that you will like this chapter.  
> I chose two special incidents from season one and season two I thought would be the best happenings to form their bond and I had to change them to match these episodes with my story, but, as the title says: 'Changed Realities', so hopefully you will appreciate my changed scenery.  
> Enjoy reading the new chapter and as always, please give me feedback and let me know if you liked it!

_John_

_The first year in Atlantis was hard._

_They were cut off from Earth and had to survive on their own in a totally strange, unknown and pretty hostile galaxy with an enemy who seemed to be invincible at first – the Wraith, life-sucking immortal space-vampires with inhuman strength and telepathically abilities._

_Rodney and John fought against them and every other threat coming along their way side by side, risking their lives again and again, but, as long as John was by his side, Rodney could face everything. He'd rather be in Pegasus with John, cut off from Earth and fighting against life-sucking space vampires, but staying alone on Earth without him, and Rodney knew that John thought much the same._

_Rodney had always known that losing John would let die a part of himself, too, and the first time he almost lost his best friend and the man he loved more than life itself proved to him that he had been right with his suspicion._

_Their team they had formed with Lt. Aidan Ford, a tough soldier who had joined the Atlantis-mission, and Teyla Emagan, the chief of a nation living in Pegasus they had won as allies, were trapped in one of the Puddle Jumpers, the small star-ships they had found in Atlantis. To make things even worse, Rodney had to watch helplessly his friend losing all of his strength because of a creepy bug clinging to John's neck and feeding on him like the Wraith did; while he himself had to find a way to bring the heck of the Jumper through the Gate where they were trapped in. They had only thirty-eight minutes to solve the problem with the Jumper and Rodney was hardly able to focus on this problem with John lying beside him, pale and in great pain, dying a slow and horrible death. To be honest, he didn't care about his own life any longer when John was dead._

_He fiddled with the interface of the Jumper, murmuring to himself when he felt the touch of John's hand on his ankle, weak and trembling. He bent down to his friend, trying to hold back the tears_ _that wanted to roll over his face._

_Rodney brought his face to John's mouth and listened to the strangled words the hazel-eyed colonel whispered into his ear. “Mer, you have to save them and yourself. I know that you can do that. I trust you! You won't give up because of me, do you hear me? You have to get yourself out of here!”_

_Rodney swallowed hard, stroking John's face covered with cold sweat and suddenly, he had an idea._  
 _The creepy bug fed from life-force. It would stop it if there wasn't any life-force any longer it could feed from. He rummaged feverishly in the medical kit and when he had found the small defibrillator they always carried with them, he cried out with satisfaction._

_“Teyla, Ford! I know how we will get this thing off John!” he stated excitedly to them, taping at his radio. “Carson, can you hear me? I have a plan to get this bug off Sheppard!”_

_“Let me hear!” Came the doctor's voice through the radio. They hat tried to cut it off, to shoot it, they had tried salt and water, even fire, but, nothing had helped and Dr. Beckett sounded not very confidently._

_“The thing will stop feeding on him when John is dead, right?” Rodney asked, almost choking on his words._

_“Yes, that's most likely,” Carson answered in a flat voice, obviously not getting what Rodney was up to._

_“So, we have to make sure that John will be 'dead' – with the defibrillator! We have to stop his heart and when this “thing” lets go off him, we will revive him!”_

_“Oh yes, this could work! Aidan, Teyla, you have to do this! Rodney has to work on the problem with the Jumper, we're running out of time!” Carson took control of the situation and Rodney bit his lip._ _But, he knew that the doctor was right and so he bent down again and pressed John's hand who smiled weakly at him._

_“I will bring us back to Atlantis in one piece and you will wake up again, do you hear me, John?” he whispered and John's lips twitched in agreement. “I promise you, Mer,” he whispered almost inaudible. “Someone has to look after you and keep you out of trouble.”_

_Rodney placed a quick kiss on John's cold cheek, getting up to his feet with a grim smile and focusing on the Jumper again. He would bring them back to Atlantis because, after all, he had a promise to keep._

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

_Rodney had kept his promise and his idea had worked. It had been difficult to bring John back to life, but, they had saved him and now, Rodney sat in the infirmary beside his bed, waiting for John to wake up from his sleep. He held his hand and he didn't care about anyone who might see him holding his best friend's hand._

_Carson had considered him thoughtfully, but, he had said nothing and Elizabeth who had come to convince herself that the military commander of Atlantis would survive and fully recover had only smiled at him and patted his shoulder. She hadn't tried to make him leave, noticing the grim resolve in his face that he wouldn't leave his chair beside the colonel's bed until John had woken up again._

_“Thank you, Rodney,” she only said and Rodney simply nodded, his eyes never leaving his best friend's face. John had stayed with him, back then, when he himself had been lying unconscious in an infirmary bed and he would do the same for him, no matter how long it would take John to wake up._

_Rodney sat there, watching John sleep, stroking the calloused hand he held in his own, thanking silently that John was safe and recovering, and when the hazel-eyed colonel finally opened his eyes, pale and weak, Rodney knew that he had never seen something that beautiful before than John's shaky smile._

_“Hey Mer, how long was I out?” he croaked out after Rodney had helped him drinking some water._

_Rodney gently laid his head back on the pillow. “You were awake for a short time, but, you slept almost twenty-four hours,” he replied, pulling the covers up and taking John's hand again._

_“You stayed with me the entire time, Mer? Did you sleep or eat?” John asked and Rodney snorted, feeling a little bit offended. “You don't ask that seriously, John. Of course, I stayed with you. You did the same for me, remember?” He felt a little bit uncomfortable, because he didn't know if John remembered the kiss on his cheek, as well, but, John only pressed his hand and said: “Of course, you did. How stupid to think otherwise. Thank you, Mer,” before he fell asleep again._

_Rodney stayed by his side, dwelling in the feeling of John's hand in his own and promising himself that he would always stay by John's side, no matter what would happen to him._

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------

 

_The chance to keep his promise and prove that he would never leave John behind, no matter what would happen to him, came about one year later._

_They had survived the attack of three Wraith Hives and managed to contact Earth again. They had lost Aidan Ford due to his addiction to the Wraith enzyme he suffered from since the battle with the three Hives, and they had found a new team-member, the former Runner Ronon Dex. They had gone through a lot of trouble and adventures and Rodney had always stayed by John's side as much as John had stayed by Rodney's during all of this adventures and dangerous times._

_But then, they had found that planet with the young Wraith girl Ellia. Carson had thought that the young girl could help him finishing his work on the retro-virus he had evolved, but, Ellia had injected_ _herself the unfinished virus and become a lethal threat to the team and the whole planet._

_John had hunted her with Ronon and Ellia had bitten John during his tries to capture her. At first, it had looked as if John would recover from his injury and this incident without any health implications, but, after some hours, John had begun to change into a strange creature similar to the one Ellia had turned into that threatened to endanger the entire city._

_Rodney paced up and down in Carson's lab, halfway out of his mind with fear and anger. “Carson, you have to find a way to help him!” he snapped and the doctor looked up at him from his screen and sighed. “I'm working on it, Rodney. Believe me, I want to help the colonel as much as you want!”_

_Rodney truly doubted that, because, Carson might consider the hazel-eyed military commander as a good friend, but, Rodney loved him with all his heart and soul and not one single inhabitant of the Ancient's city would ever understand the true meaning of the special bond between John and him. He shot a look at the infirmary bed behind the curtain where John was lying, sedated and tied to the bed and he balled his fist with helpless anger._

_Carson rubbed his forehead, staring at the screen. “I need some fresh stem cells to continue with my work, preferably embryonic stem cells from the eggs,” he mused. “It doesn't work, because I have only the changed cells of the virus. But, where do we get those cells from?” He looked up at Rodney who stared back with blank eyes. Then, he pushed the Scottish doctor to the side, typing frantically on the keyboard of the computer._

_“I'm sure that the Ancient's have mapped the coordinates of the planets with the Iratus bugs in their database,” he said grimly, scrolling through the data showing up on the screen. “Maybe, we will find a planet with a Gate.”_

_Carson watched him typing and it didn't take long until Rodney had found what he had been looking for. “Ha, here we go! A planet with a Gate and hopefully a lot of bugs! I'll talk to Elizabeth!”_

_Rodney rushed out of the room before Carson was able to utter one single word, heading to the next elevator. They had no time to lose. John needed his help and Rodney would help him, no matter what._

 

\------------------------------------------------------

 

_The first attempt to collect the embryonic stem cells hadn't been successful, no one was able to enter the cave without being attacked by the thousands of bugs crawling over the ground and the walls._

_Rodney was pacing up and down beside John's bed, chewing on his lips and staring at the man he loved so much and who didn't look like the John he loved any longer. His skin had turned blue and had changed into some kind of shell, his arm, the one, where Ellia had bitten him looked like a claw now, and it was clear to see that John became more and more 'bug-like'. He had attacked Elizabeth and several Marines and was driven by some primitive instincts every time the mass of inhibitors Carson had drugged him with wore off._

_But, for Rodney, John was still his best friend, the man who had sworn to protect him when he had been a boy. Rodney didn't see the claws, nor the shell, he also didn't see the reptilian eyes when John was awake, he only saw his beloved hazel-eyed friend with the messy dark hair and he would stay by him to the very end._

_“John has to go there himself. The bugs will consider him as one of them!” he suddenly yelled and Teyla, Ronon, Elizabeth and Carson in the next room flinched, startled._

_“What? Are you mad, Rodney? He doesn't recognize us any longer. He is not in the state to go on a mission!” Elizabeth stated, entering the room and looking at the colonel who fought against the ropes tying him to the bed, hissing and snarling._

_“He still recognizes me. He didn't try to attack me and I will go with him. You can't keep me from trying it,” Rodney told her deadly serious._

_Weir frowned. “I can't let you risk your life, Rodney. You are our head scientist and we need you. Believe me, I wished as much as you do that there was a way to help John, but, as things stand, we have to accept that it is too late.”_

_Rodney narrowed his eyes. “No, Elizabeth, you don't. Plus, you can't keep me from going there with John. It is his last chance and he needs me more than you or the city. He risked his life countless times for you! He risked his life countless times for me! I don't care about being the 'head scientist' of Atlantis. I only care about my best friend and we will do it together. Don't try to keep me from helping my best friend!”_

_Rodney rushed to the bed, loosening the ropes that kept John immobilized. John gave up his struggles and his hissing, watching Rodney with yellow eyes attentively._

_Rodney returned his curious and mistrustful gaze. “John, listen to me. I know that the others think that you are no longer John, but, some kind of creepy bug, but, I know that you are still in there. You will go with me to another planet. You have to collect some eggs in a cave there and you are the only one who can do it, understood?”_

_To everyone's surprise, John slowly nodded his head, making some guttural sounds. Rodney smiled, taking his bluish claw in his own hand without showing any fear or disgust. “Fine. I will stay by your side the entire time. I won't leave you. But, you have to stay calm. You won't attack anyone around here. I will stay by your side and make sure that no one attacks you. I will go with you to that cave and you will protect me from the bugs, won't you?”_

_John made these strange sounds again, his eyes flickering to Ronon, Teyla and Elizabeth watching him mistrustfully. Rodney felt him clenching his claw, but, when he gently stroked his arm in a calming gesture, John relaxed, nodding again._

_Rodney smiled grimly, but also contentedly. “Very well. Teyla, please, hand the coat to me. We are ready.” Teyla did as she had been told, hesitantly, but with obvious relief. Rodney helped John getting up from the bed, throwing the coat with the hood over him. Then, he guided him out of the infirmary, walking close by his side. John was tense and stiff, but, he didn't try to attack one of the Marines following them, listening to the murmured words Rodney uttered the entire time to calm him._

_When they entered the Gate-room several Marines stood on guard duty beside the activated Gate and John hesitated for one moment, growling deep in his throat. Rodney stroked his arm in a reassuring gesture._

_“Come on, John, no one here in Atlantis is a threat to you. They only want to make sure that no bug will come through the Gate. I'm right here and I won't leave you. Please, we need to collect these eggs!” he begged and John stepped forward, his eyes never leaving the weapons while he crossed the room with Rodney by his side. Rodney could hear the footsteps of Carson, Teyla and Ronon following them through the Gate, but, he didn't turn around to look at them, focused only on his friend who needed him now like he had never needed him before._

_They made their way through the wilderness to the cave again and Rodney swallowed and tensed as he heard the dangerous chirping of the bugs sounding through the cave to the place where they stood outside. John stopped, watching him with this strange intensive stare of his yellow reptile eyes and Rodney smiled weakly at him. “I don't like bugs, that's all, John,” he assured him and John's eyes lit up with a strange emotion. He growled again and Ronon beside Rodney raised his weapon, but, Rodney covered John with his body, scowling at the big man from Sateda._

_“It's okay, Ronon. He only told me that he will protect me,” he said and John growled again, and this time, even the former Runner realized that Rodney had been right, because John carefully wrapped his arm around Rodney's shoulder, pulling him with him to the entrance of the cave._

_Rodney pressed the container for the transport of the eggs firmly against his chest and entered the cave with John who held him close, his bugs-instincts telling him where he would find the cocoons with the eggs. Rodney let him take the lead, trusting his friend that he would keep him safe and protect him. When he saw the cocoons hanging from the stony ceiling of the cave, he sighed._

_“Damn it, we have to climb. I hope you're better in climbing than I am, John.” John obviously was, because he already looked for the best place from where he could reach the cocoons. He turned around to Rodney, rubbing with his claw gently over his face carefully not to hurt him and then, he did the same with his cheeks, rubbing them against Rodney's stubbly ones, his neck and even his hair._

_“I see. You mark me as yours,” Rodney murmured, tilting his head to the side to give John better access. John hissed contentedly, sniffing several times at him, before he let go of Rodney, turning to the cocoons again. Rodney could smell the strange scent that now emanated from him, but, he stayed where he was while he watched John climbing along the wall like one of those bugs, digging his claws into the stone. The bugs crawled over the ground covered with some animal feces Rodney avoided to look at, some of them were even crawling over his shoes, but, Rodney held his ground, watching John collecting the eggs and stuffing them into the container. If John thought that he was safe because of his mark, then, Rodney believed that, too._

_He simply stood there in the middle of the cave, waiting for John to come back to him, breathing deeply and slowly to fight against the urge to turn around and run away from this horrible place. John needed him by his side and he had promised to stay with him, sometimes, things were just that simple._

_After what felt like an eternity, John jumped to the ground, coming to him, and Rodney felt a heavy weight falling from his shoulders he hadn't known that it had been there. John took his arm and guided him out of the cave and Rodney could tell by the expression in the others' eyes waiting outside for them that they hadn't expected to see him well and unharmed again._

_“We have what we need, let's go!” he ordered not bothering to explain what John had done to protect him. Only when Ronon sniffed the air, looking at him with narrowed eyes, he said tersely:_

_“John marked me. He had to climb to get the eggs and I had to stay on the ground.”_

_Teyla nodded her head. “Of course, you smelled of him and the bugs didn't take you as a threat because of your smell.”_

_Rodney smiled at her. “You're right, Teyla. They crawled around me, but, they left me alone.” Carson shivered by the thought of having to stand in a cave with thousands of Iratus bugs surrounding him and he shot Rodney an admiring glance._

_“You were pretty brave, lad,” he praised him, but, Rodney only shrugged his shoulders. “John needs me,” he simply remarked and these three words really explained everything._

_John had always been there whenever Rodney had needed him, even when no one else had come to help him out of his trouble. Rodney was glad that he could return the favor and prove to John that he would never let him down, even if staying with him meant that he had to risk his own life._

_Without John, life wouldn't be worth living any longer and Rodney didn't care about his own well-being as long as John was in acute danger. He knew quite well that most of the New Lanteans didn't consider John as a human being anymore, but, for him, John would always be John, no matter if he had a blue shell instead of the usual pale rosy smooth human skin, claws instead of hands and yellow reptilian eyes instead of his wonderful hazel-green ones._

_John was John and for Rodney, he would always be John, his best friend John Sheppard he loved since they had been boys and John had saved him from someone who had wanted to hurt him for the very first time._

_They made their way back to the Gate in silence, John's arm still wrapped protectively around Rodney's shoulder and Rodney allowed the small relieved and happy smile to tug at the corners of his mouth._

_Soon, they would be back in Atlantis and soon, he would have his 'old' John back, Rodney was sure about that._


	10. Always By Your Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has collected the eggs from the Iratus bugs with Rodney's help. Now, they have to find the cure to reverse the transformation. This is not as easy as Rodney first had hoped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had time to write this chapter quickly after the last one and I was eager to post it. It is a little bit shorter and has some kind of cliffhanger, but, hopefully, I will be able to write the next one next week.  
> Enjoy reading it and as always, please, let me know if you liked it!

_Unfortunately, things didn't go the way Rodney had expected them to go._

_First, Carson had difficulties to find the right cure which meant that the retro-virus in John's blood could work unhindered for a longer time than all of them had thought and John's change into a creature similar to what Ellia had become increased to a level that Elizabeth decided that John couldn't stay in Atlantis until they had found the cure to reverse the process. The inhibitors didn't work any longer and they couldn't keep John tied to a bed for weeks._

_“Do you really want to throw John out of Atlantis, Elizabeth?” Rodney asked, incredulously and angrily._

_Elizabeth sighed. “No, Rodney, I don't want to do that. But, I have to agree with Colonel Caldwell this time. John is a threat to every inhabitant of the city. I can't give the order to tie him with chains to the bed or a prison cell until he is healed, but, I can't let him stay here, either. Apart from that, his inhuman strength most likely will help him getting rid of the chains and out of the cell, easily.”_

_Rodney paced up and down in front of her desk, clenching and stretching his hands with helpless anger. “And what do you want to do instead?” he finally asked, knowing that the female civilian leader of the Ancient's city was right with what she had said._

_Elizabeth considered him thoughtfully. “Colonel Caldwell and I decided to bring him to the Alpha-side and let him stay there until Carson has found the solution to reverse the transformation and will be able to treat him with the cure.”_

_“Alone?!” Rodney inquired with raised eyebrows._

_Elizabeth frowned. “Of course, alone, Rodney. He attacks every inhabitant and behaves like an animal, Rodney – like a dangerous animal with inhuman strength and abilities similar to the Wraith's abilities. He will be more than capable to survive there on his own.”_

_Rodney snorted. “Of course, Elizabeth. And how do you plan to capture him again for the cure? He will be fast and able to hide from us, because being an 'animal' also means that he won't allow us to 'cure' him. If you really plan to do this, then, I will go there with him.”_

_Weir stared at him. “Rodney, he is a threat to everyone! You can't be serious!” she exclaimed, obviously oblivious of his determination._

_“Not to me, Elizabeth. John won't go anywhere without me. I promised him to stay by his side and I will stay by his side, I already told you that before. You'll send him to the Alpha-side? Very well, then, I will go there, as well.”_

_“You have to sleep in a tent, without a shower, your lab and your favorite food,” she tried, but, Rodney only shrugged, wondering briefly if she really knew him that little._

_“Do you really believe that I would choose a shower, a bed and my lab over John, Elizabeth? I walked with John through a desert and had nothing of these things. But, I had John by my side who half carried me through the desert without drinking and eating for days. I ate lizards back then and I survived. I can't change your mind and you're probably right with the suspicion that John will feel more comfortable on the Alpha-side than spending his time in a prison cell here in Atlantis, but, there is no way that I will leave him alone, Elizabeth. I'd better pack our things then, I guess that you want us to go there as soon as possible.” With these words, Rodney left her office, heading to his quarters to pack the things he would need for a camping trip that would probably last for at least a couple of weeks._  
_Rodney had never been a fan of camping trips, but, as long as he was with John, he had no complaints._

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

_Rodney stretched his sore muscles. Sitting on the hard ground with his laptop on his thighs was pretty uncomfortable and he carefully placed his computer back on the blanket beside him and stood up, swaying his arms and his legs to ease the pain._

_They had come here four days ago after Elizabeth had agreed to his wish to go with John to the Alpha-side. She had seen to making their stay as comfortable as possible and she also provided them with fresh food and other needed supplies every day. John had changed into a creature like Ellia, his skin was a blue shell now and his hands and feet looked like claws. His eyes reminded Rodney of the Wraith's eyes, yellow and cat's like, and he didn't speak any longer, but made only some strange hissing and snarling sounds, depending on his mood. He had tried to attack the Marines who had escorted them to the Alpha-side and Elizabeth had been pretty angry and attempted to forbid Rodney to accompany John to the other planet._

_Rodney had only glared at her and told her in a calm voice that he would follow John to hell if he had to and finally, she had given up and let both of them step through the wormhole._

_On the other side of the Gate, on the beautiful planet they had chosen to be their shelter if they ever had to flee from Atlantis, John had disappeared into the thick forest nearby almost instantly and Rodney hadn't been sure if he would come back to him, but, in the evening, when the sunset had darkened the sky, he had come back and stayed by Rodney's side the entire night. He had slept in Rodney's tent, curled around him and Rodney was sure that he wanted to protect him and keep him warm this way. John's body temperature had decreased during the change, as well, but, together with his sleeping bag and the blankets he had warmed Rodney's body and Rodney had slept more peacefully in the arms of the creature John had turned into than he had slept in his bed ever since John had become infected. The small purring sounds John had made had lulled him to sleep and to his own surprise, Rodney didn't feel any fear that he could be attacked by some dangerous animals, neither during the days, nor during the nights._

_John kept disappearing into the forests when the morning sun lit up the clearing where Rodney had made himself comfortable, but, Rodney was sure that he stayed nearby, taking care of him. He didn't eat from the food Rodney offered him and the scientist knew better than to ask him what he did during the days or what he did eat, but, he talked to him while John watched him eating his dinner and he always told him what he had done during John's absence. He was sure that John was still able to understand his words, he only wasn't able to use spoken words himself any longer. John hadn't attacked him so far and his hissing and snarling sounded never threatening._

_Rodney circled his shoulders, groaning because his neck felt stiff and tense and he knew that this was not only because of the crouched posture he had held for hours, but also, because Carson had come to the Alpha-side a couple of hours earlier, his medical equipment in his rucksack. He finally had found the right mixture and brought Rodney everything he would need to inject John with the cure twice a day._

_The sun was settling and Rodney knew that it wouldn't take long until John would come to his campsite and spend the night with him. Rodney had become a good camper during the last four days, and he also had gotten used to bath in the small creek making its way on the other side of the clearing, although the water was really cold._

_Rodney sighed, crouching down again to make a campfire and just when the flames lit up the dawn, he heard the silent rustling of one of the thick bushes nearby and then, a dark shadow rushed over the clearing._

_Rodney looked up at John, smiling at him. He was aware of the fact that John let the bush rustle to announce his arrival because he didn't want to startle his friend and not because he couldn't have come to him in complete silence._

_“Hey, John! How was your day?” he asked, patting the blanket beside him in an inviting gesture. John hissed contentedly and sat down next to Rodney reaching out with his claws. Rodney frowned, but, when John gestured and hissed again, he shifted his weight, presenting his back to the blue, alien creature that would have scared most humans Rodney knew to death._

_“You want to massage my shoulders, John? This would be great, I have a horrible neck-ache,” Rodney said and John hissed again, a soft sound that sounded more like a purr than like a true hiss._

_His claws gently dug into the hard muscles of Rodney's shoulders and Rodney groaned with both, pain and relief as John carefully kneaded his sore muscles._

_“Carson came today. He has found a cure for you, John,” he broke the silence after a while._

_John paused in his massage, growling deep in his throat._

_“I know John, but, you can trust him. You can trust me, John. He showed me the results of the tests he had run. I'm sure that it will work. It will take some time, but, you will become human again.” Rodney turned his head to look at his friend. John's yellow-golden reptilian eyes were glittering in the darkness that cast long shadows on the clearing and he had bared his teeth._

_Rodney smiled at him, covering John's claw with his hand. “I will inject you with the cure, John, no one else, I promise you. But, I have to do it twice a day, in the morning and in the evening. It can be painful, but, it won't cause any more damage. Do you trust me?”_

_John growled again, but then, he slowly nodded his head, continuing with the massage. Rodney bent his head to give him better access, trusting John not to hurt him. For a while, they were silent and when John finally pulled away, Rodney's pain was gone._

_“Ah, thank you John, you did wonders,” Rodney thanked him, rummaging in the bag Carson had left him for the syringe. He pulled it out and looked at John again._

_“Are you ready to become human again, John?” he asked softly, waiting patiently for his answer. John stared at the syringe and then, he gazed at Rodney, his alien blue face gleaming in the shine of the campfire._

_“Aaargghhhssshh.”_

_“I know, John. But, I will be there, I promise you. I will always stay by your side.” Rodney slowly raised his hand with the syringe and John let him inject the serum without any protest, his yellow-golden eyes never leaving Rodney's face._

 

\-------------------------------------------------

 

_It was a slow and painful process and Rodney didn't know from where his friend took his strength to endure the torture of the reversal process. The first days, John had stuck to his routine and vanished between the trees each morning, but, when the cure had started to change him back into a human, he had stayed with Rodney on the clearing, moving restlessly, but always coming back to him after a short amount of time._

_Carson visited them thrice a day, providing Rodney with painkillers and ointments to make it easier and less painfully for John, but, John refused to take them until it became too bad._

_All Rodney could do was to be there, talk to him and hold him, to wipe away the cold sweat and rub his skin with a soft brush as the blue shell began to peel off._

_After one week, John's normal pale skin was shining through the shell and his feet and hands looked almost human, but, his eyes were still reptile-like and his voice was guttural and hardly to understand for anybody else than Rodney._

_It had been raining all day and they had had to stay in Rodney's small tent with Rodney curled around John's trembling body, just like John had held him during the nights. John had fallen into a_ _restless slumber, groaning from time to time and Rodney felt relief that he eventually slept, because John hadn't slept for more than two days because of the itching and the pain._

_He stroked his hair and his back, carefully to not wake him up. “I wished I could ease your pain, John,” he whispered almost inaudible. “I wished I could help you better getting through all of this. But, I will always be there and love you, I promise you. I loved you since the day you rescued me from that bully and I will always love you,” he murmured, gratefully that John was asleep and couldn't hear him._

_His murmuring seemed to help his friend though, because he stopped his tiny movements and his groaning, his breathing slowing down until he was sound asleep. Rodney softly kissed his cheek covered with new smooth human skin and slight dark stubble again, watching John sleep, never stopping in his stroking and murmuring._

 

\---------------------------------------------

 

_After one more week which felt like a year to both of them, the reversal process was finished and John was human again. Rodney was utterly relieved, but, he was torn between his wish to return to Atlantis and his desire to stay few more days on that peaceful clearing with John._

_John had accompanied Carson back to the Gate after the final check while Rodney had started to pack their things. When John returned from the Gate, he looked up at him questioningly._

_“What did he say, John? Are you allowed to return to Atlantis?”_

_John sat down beside him, watching Rodney with an unreadable expression on his face. “Yes, I'm cleared. But, I told him that we will stay here for two more days.”_

_Rodney frowned. “Why? I thought you would be eager to return to your post again,” he said confused, letting his bag drop down on the ground._

_“Yes, I am. But, there is something we have to talk about first, Rodney. Alone and undisturbed.” John's face was still impassive and Rodney uncomfortably shifted his weight._

_“And what should that be, John?” he inquired reluctantly and mistrustfully._

_John tilted his head to the side, watching him closely. “During the changing, when you held me, you said that you love me, Mer. Please, tell me, is that true? Do you really love me?” he inquired, his voice hoarse and underlaid with some emotion Rodney couldn't really detect._

_He just stared at John, stunned and speechless, not knowing what he should answer to that question._


	11. You Are All I Ever Wanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John asked Rodney if he loves him. Now, Rodney has to answer his question and to wait for John's answer. Will John give him the answer he is craving for?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised another chapter for today and here it is. Rodney and John are finally together, at least in the world the pod created for them. This chapter is the first explicit chapter and therefore I rated this fic now as explicit. More explicit chapters will follow.  
> A million thanks to all of you who support me and give me feedback in any kind of way, kudos, comments or bookmarks, your support means a lot to me because it is pretty hard to write a long WIP without knowing what you think about it.  
> Please, continue with your support and tell me what you think, write comments or leave kudos if you like what I write! A million thanks to all who will do that in the future, too. :-)

_Rodney opened his mouth and closed it again. John did nothing than just sit there, watching him with his now wonderful hazel-green eyes and waiting patiently for his answer._

_“Uhm, of course, I love you, John,” Rodney finally managed to say, avoiding his best friend's intensive stare. His fingers fiddled with the fastenings of his bag and he swallowed audibly._  
_“You are my best friend and...”_

_“Mer, please, stop that. You know what I meant – what kind of love I meant,” John interrupted his stutter. “Do you love me like in 'being in love with me'?”_

_Rodney bit his lip and he could feel a dark redness creeping into his cheeks and cold sweat covering his forehead. He had feared this moment for so long, the moment when John would find out that Rodney felt so much more for him than just friendship. His hands shook while he opened and closed his rucksack, feeling John's questioning eyes upon him. Now, the moment he had feared and desired at the same time had finally come and there was no way that he would lie to John about his feelings. They had gone together through so much and Rodney had always been honest with John, he wouldn't start lying to him right now when John had asked him this important question._

_Rodney took a deep breath and looked up at his best friend, looking the hazel-eyed colonel straight in the eyes._

_“Yes, John. I love you. I'm in love with you. I have been in love with you since that day in the cafeteria and I don't think that I will ever stop loving you,” he confessed, his voice trembling, but his words and his serious tone left no doubts about the truth of what he had said._

_A strange emotion flickered over John's face, Rodney wasn't sure if it was regret or something else. “But, you never said something, Mer. Why didn't you tell me how you feel?” John asked silently and Rodney shrugged his shoulders in a helpless gesture._

_“I'm sorry, John. I never wanted my feelings for you coming between us. I know what I am. I have always been the outsider, the nerd, the one with the incredible IQ, but without any social skills, the one without friends. You have no idea what it meant to me when you stood up for me and put this bully in his place, telling him that I was your friend. No one else had ever done this for me before and that it had been you, whom I had admired from the moment I first saw you – this was simply unbelievable for me. I had liked you before, but when I saw you standing there, telling him that I was your friend, I fell in love with you and couldn't do anything against it.”_

_John's glance made him nervous and when John said nothing to his confession, he hurried to say: “You don't have to fear that I will try something. I know that you don't feel the same for me and I have accepted that a long time ago, I won't...hrmpf...”_

_Rodney wasn't prepared for John's sudden move and he lost his balance as the other man grabbed his collar, pulling him close and pressing his lips on his mouth in a bruising kiss. Rodney made a startled sound and fell back on the blanket where he had sat, pulling John with him until they lay there, John covering him and kissing him as if his life depended on it._

_Rodney lay there, trapped underneath John's slim, but strong-muscled and well-trained body, staring at him, frightened and shocked, but, John had closed his eyes while he claimed his mouth, his tongue licking over Rodney's trembling bottom lip, searching for entrance to the soft cavern it wanted to explore._

_Rodney hesitantly granted the tender conqueror what it demanded so forcefully and when John's tongue slipped between his lips, he closed his eyes and stopped thinking, starting to feel only._

_Rodney wrapped his arms around John tightly and opened his mouth, surrendering to the man he loved more than life itself unquestioningly and completely. He welcomed John with his own tongue, inviting him to dance the old courtship-dance so many couples deeply in love had danced with each other when they had kissed for the first time. Their tongues met and began to duel for dominance, a playful battle neither of them wanted to win. Rodney pulled John closer, letting him explore and claim the soft cavern of his tempting mouth, moaning softly, while his hands roamed feverishly over John's back, stroking the strong muscles he could feel moving whenever John shifted his weight upon him to deepen the kiss even more._

_He could feel the unmistakable proof of the hazel-eyed colonel's desire pressing against his thigh and he bucked his hips up to get more friction, crazy with the strong desire that finally broke free after so many years he had suppressed it desperately to keep his love for John a well-hidden secret._

_Rodney moaned into the kiss, a strangled sound that was swallowed by John's hungry mouth and he knew that he would have died gladly right now if the last thing he felt was John's lips on his own and his tongue caressing every secret place in the sweet cavern of his mouth. When he thought that he would black out from the lack of air and the intense lust their kiss awakened in him, John hesitantly pulled back from his bruised lips, considering him thoughtfully. Rodney blinked as he felt John's gaze and he opened his eyes, returning the questioning look. “Did I answer your question?” John asked when he had Rodney's attention and his voice was raw and husky with his emotions._

_“My, my question?” Rodney tried to remember which question he had asked before that kiss and frowned with confusion. John smiled, a tender smile full of so much love that Rodney felt his eyes becoming wet with tears. John's wonderful hazel-green eyes were dilated with his desire and the deep feelings he felt for Rodney and his mouth was red and swollen from their kiss just like Rodney's. Rodney had oftentimes thought that he had never seen something that beautiful when he had looked at his best friend, but what he saw now simply took his breath away, his own love for John overwhelming him in a way he had never been overwhelmed before._

_“The question if I love you, too, Mer,” John replied softly. He pulled his hand out from underneath Rodney's back and stroked his stubbly cheek with his thumb, following the soft curves and the lines until he reached his mouth, caressing his lip with it. Rodney kissed his thumb, his tongue darting out and licking over the salty skin. John's hand felt smooth on his cheek, the fresh human skin soft like the skin of a newborn instead the slightly raw and calloused skin Rodney had been used to after so many years of John holding guns and knives in his hands. He turned his head and caressed John's palm with his lips, dabbing chaste kisses all over it._

_“Mer?” John was still waiting for his answer and Rodney finally looked up at him again. “Uhm, I think so. Do you really love me like in 'being in love with you', John?” he was grinning stupidly all over his face, and his heart was about to burst with his happiness, but, he needed to hear it. He needed to hear John saying it to him, loud and clear._

_“Yes, silly, I love you. You actually should have known that for a rather long time,” John growled, but, Rodney didn't mind. He knew that his wonderful best friend wasn't good in talking about emotions; that he was better in showing his love and friendship for the people he cared for with his actions, and John's growling only proved to him how deep John's feelings for him were._

_“What about you show me how much you love me then, in a way you don't have to use words for?” he challenged the other man and John growled again, silencing Rodney's happy laughter with another passionate kiss because, John Sheppard had never been the guy to decline a challenge._

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------

 

_They had made their way back into the tent in between their kisses, undressing each other impatiently with the urge to feel naked skin; which had turned out to be a little bit tricky, because neither of them had wanted to let go of the other for even one second. But, they had managed to get rid of the clothes keeping them from really feeling each other and now, Rodney lay on the airbed on his back with John on top of him, kissing him again._

_His desire threatened to drive him mad, but, his wish to stroke and caress the smooth and soft fragrant pale human skin with his hands and his lips, to taste the drops of fresh salty sweat that slowly rolled down on John's neck was much stronger than his desire to be as close to the love of his life. This would come later when Rodney had convinced himself that John was indeed undoubtedly human again. Rodney hadn't loved John any less after his transformation into that blue creature and he had always known that his John was still inside this alien being, but, to be able to feel, smell and taste his regained humanity was a true miracle and Rodney became absorbed in kissing every tiny bit of John's skin within reach of his lips, to let his fingers glide through the fur covering John's chest, enjoying how it tickled his palm and his fingers._

_John was busied with exploring his own smoother body that was in a good shape after their stay on that planet, but, not as strong-muscled and hard as John's soldier-body was. He had lost weight and if he hadn't been content with his body before, then, John's rapturous ministration, his kisses, his moans and the way he looked at him and caressed him would have proved to him that he was perfect in the hazel-eyed colonel's eyes and this was all that mattered to Rodney._

_His lips felt a little bit numb from the constant onslaught, John kissed him deeply and thoroughly again and again, with lips, tongue and teeth, sucking the air out of his lungs while he imitated the act_ _of lovemaking with his tongue, thrusting as deep into Rodney's sweet mouth as he could while he claimed every inch of Rodney's trembling body with his hands. Their rock-hard erections rubbed against each other with every move, slick with the fragrant wetness their kisses and their love-confessions had milked from both of them and Rodney realized that he wouldn't last much longer if John kept doing what he did, that he would come just like that after desiring and wanting John for half of his life._

_“I need you, John, I need to be yours,” he whispered hoarsely, almost desperately. “Please, make me yours, I need to feel you!” Rodney had never done this before because it would have meant to give himself to another being than John, and this thought had never ever crossed his mind, but, he felt no fear, only the overwhelming wish to be as close to John as two beings only could be._

_“I need you, too, Mer, but, we have nothing...” John groaned, his own desire and Rodney's pleading driving him to the very edge of his control almost instantly._

_Rodney blinked confused before he realized what John had meant and he blushed furiously. “Uhm, we could use the lotion Carson gave me for your skin?” he asked shyly and John's hungry eyes lit up. “Don't move!” he ordered with a growl, getting up and rummaging in the half-packed rucksack lying near the entrance of the tent. Rodney watched him and John's male beauty took his breath away once more. When the colonel came back to him, he pulled him close again, kissing him with all the love, longing and desire he had suppressed almost half of his lifetime and John responded to the kiss, soothing him with soft purrs that vibrated deep in his throat while he opened the bottle with the lotion one-handed._  
_Rodney tensed instinctively as he felt his hand between his legs, and John waited patiently until he relaxed, spreading his thighs to give John access to his secret core. He was painfully hard, aching for release although they hadn't touched each other there until now, and he could feel John's impressive length pressing against his hipbone, slippery and throbbing with the need to come._

_John circled his sensitive entrance with one slicked up finger, massaging the tight muscle and Rodney moaned in surprise, because he couldn't remember anything that had ever felt so good like this, except for the kisses they had shared. He spread his legs wider and gasped out. “That's good, John, please...” He didn't know exactly what he was begging for, only that he needed more, needed something he couldn't express in words and what came from the bottom of his heart._

_“Hush, Mer, it's fine. I'll give you everything you need, I promise you,” John whispered at his lips, distracting him with another passionate kiss, inviting Rodney's tongue for another dance and Rodney_ _focused on John's clever tongue and the kiss, digging his nails into his shoulders and making tiny unconscious movements with his hips._

_And then, he felt John's finger inside him. “John!” Rodney cried out, totally taken aback by what he felt as John tenderly inched his way into his tight heat, entering his trembling body until his digit was buried deep inside him. Rodney could feel himself clenching and pulsing around John's finger and the slightly burning pain boosted his arousal even more, as strange as it might be. John waited until Rodney relaxed again, taking deep and slow breaths to calm down and when Rodney finally stopped fighting against the intrusion, he began to pump his finger in and out of him, watching his reaction closely._

_“Trust me, Mer. I would never hurt you. Just give yourself to me,” he whispered and Rodney smiled, a little bit shakily and shyly, but also happily and absolutely certain that his beloved John would never do him any harm. It didn't take long until he began to enjoy this unknown kind of stimulation and when John brushed with his fingertip over one special spot inside him, he moaned loudly, because hot jolts of white pleasure shot through every cell of his body all of a sudden and he shivered and panted with the sensation._

_“Ah, here we go, Mer, just like that,” John encouraged him, doing it again and Rodney arched his back, painfully aroused and craving to feel more of this. John pleasured him this way for a while and when he added a second finger, scissoring them to stretch Rodney's tight muscle, he met much less resistance._

_The next minutes went by in a haze. Rodney's world shrank to the size of the tent where he lay on the airbed, squirming and shivering, to the strong and warm body covering his own, the smooth lips_ _kissing him and the fingers working him open and letting him feel things he had never felt before. His world only existed of the murmured words of love, passion and need John let rain down on him, sometimes incoherent and almost inaudible, but, John's voice, raw with his own passion and yet soft like honey told Rodney everything he needed to know, how cherished and loved he was. John's tender ministration pulled silent gasps and moans from him, filling the air and composing a symphony of passion and longing together with John's words and his own needy sounds, purrs and growls of lust and ardor._

_Rodney lay there, wanting nothing more than to be filled, to be taken ad possessed by the man he loved so much, and when John curled three fingertips into his sweet spot, he cried out his desperate wanting, loudly and filled with a need that came out from the deepest depths of his soul._

_“John, please, take me, I need to feel you, now!” he cried, pulling at his shoulders and arching his back again. John silenced his cry with a rough kiss, pulling his fingers out, leaving Rodney empty and_ _craving to feel John's hard member in his secret core instead. He whimpered because time seemed to stretch to an eternity until John had lined himself up and made himself comfortable between his trembling thighs._

_John looked down at Rodney, his eyes almost black with his own lust, his pupils dilated to full rounds and his breathing came ragged and fast. “I will make you mine, now, Mer, all mine! No one else will ever have you, because you're mine, only mine,” he said, demanding and possessively, and all Rodney could do was surrendering again, opening himself for the man he loved more than he had ever loved anything or anyone, showing him with his body and his eyes how much he wanted to be all John's and only John's._

_“Yes, take me, John. I wanna be yours and only yours, take all of me!” he whispered, his eyes never leaving John's as the colonel finally sheathed himself into the tight heat of the man he had claimed so many years ago when he had saved him from the classmate who had tried to humiliate and hurt him, back then, when they had been hardly more than young boys._

_And then, they were connected, bonded as close to each other as two living beings only could be. Rodney felt stretched and breached as he was taken for the first time in his life, filled in a way he_ _hadn't though he could be filled and he gave himself to John with all he had, his body, his heart and his soul._  
_“I love you, John,” he whispered brokenly as John finally was buried to the hilt deep inside in his body, soothing him with a tender kiss. “I love you, Mer,” he whispered back, slowly pulling out and pushing in again, gently and carefully, giving Rodney the time he needed to get used to this intimate contact._  
_Rodney's own rock-hard cock rubbed against John's abdomen with every tender thrust and Rodney's arousal that had faded a little bit because of the first uncomfortable intrusion came back with so much force that he gasped for air. Every cell in his body tingled because of the double onslaught of his senses, John's spear hitting his sensitive knob with every thrust and the friction of his erection gliding along the colonel's six-pack driving him to the brink of ecstasy very quickly._

_John set up a steady rhythm and Rodney became deaf and blind to anything else than the sensation of John moving deep inside him and his lips nibbling at his throat, biting and licking, marking him visibly as his. He moaned and cried in the rhythm of their lovemaking and he wrapped his legs around John's waist to feel him even deeper. His nails dug into his shoulders, leaving scratches on the fresh smooth skin, but this seemed only to spur John to move faster and harder and when he did, Rodney bit down on his shoulder, muffling his loud cries while he frantically pushed his hips up, meeting John's thrusts with unrestrained passion._

_John snaked his hand between their sweat-slick bodies to wrap it around Rodney's throbbing shaft and stroke it, his fingers gliding over the pulsing length passionately in time to their ardent coupling._

_“Come for me, Mer, give yourself to me and come for me! I wanna feel you coming around me, I need to feel your ecstasy, Mer, please!” he demanded and Rodney obeyed, the next hit against his sensitive spot shoving him over the edge of an incredible orgasm._

_The pleasure that he had felt building at the end of his spine spread out in every part of his body, until he even felt it in his little finger and his scalp tingled with the sensation of it, and when the first wave rolled over him with violent force, taking him away, he pressed his body against John's, clinging to him as if John were his only life-line, spurting his release all over John's tender fingers and between their bodies. Wave after wave followed while Rodney shuddered through his climax, finally pulling John's ecstasy from him with his spasms that milked John's pulsing cock buried inside him._

_John threw his head back and cried out while he filled the man who had become his destiny and his own life-line with his seed, the man who had stood beside him and never left him alone, even when everyone else had considered him only as a threat and a dangerous creature, making this man his in every possible way a human being could make another one theirs._

_Rodney pulled him closer, his willing body taking every drop of John's hot, wet release eagerly and when it eventually was over, they simply lay there, embracing each other tightly, neither of them_ _willing to let go of the other one._

_After a long time, John raised his head, stroking Rodney's face and his smile was truly the most beautiful smile Rodney had ever seen. “You're mine now, Mer. I knew from the first moment I saw you that you were meant to be mine. You are my soul-mate and I will never ever let you go again. I love you, Mer.”_

_Rodney lifted his shaking hand to John's beloved face and he did nothing to hide his tears of joy from his friend and lover. “I will never want to leave you, John. I loved you from the moment you said_ _that I was your friend and I will never stop loving you. I'm yours and you are my soul-mate, as well, John.”_

_John bent down and they kissed each other with all the love they felt for each other, knowing that from now on, they were more than friends and even more than lovers. They were true soul-mates and no one would ever be able to break their bond._

 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

 

On the planet with the pods:

 

Rodney heard a loud noise sounding like some kind of gong and his eyes flew open as he awoke fully within only few seconds. The light hurt his eyes and he blinked against the sudden brightness and the dizziness the sharp light caused. The gong sounded again and the tight hood that had enclosed his head slowly lifted itself up and the pressure on his temples eased. Rodney stood in the pod, dizzy and confused and a strong wave of emotions overwhelming him made him flinch as he realized that they weren't his own emotions, but the emotions of someone else – John's.

John was standing in the pod next to him and Rodney could neither see him, nor hear him, but, he could feel his emotions and that confused him. One minute ago, he had been in that tent on the clearing, making love to John, his soul-mate and the next minute, he stood in some kind of stasis-pod, painfully aroused and aching for release, feeling the same emotions coming off in waves from the one person he had dreamed of.

Rodney desperately tried to keep his own turmoil at bay, because it was most likely that John could feel his emotions like Rodney was able to sense his, but, he wasn't sure if he was successful with his attempts or not. Rodney had never been connected to another one like this, even the experience he had had when Laura Cadman had shared his body with him had been something totally different. He was very aware of the fact that John and he himself were still two different beings, only bonded with each other now in a way Rodney hadn't known that this kind of bonding existed. He blinked again, trying to separate his own feelings from John's.

The pod opened after another gong and Rodney stumbled out of it, looking at his right side.

John must have stepped out of his pod seconds before him and when Rodney looked at him, hesitantly and embarrassed, his mouth curled into the crooked smile Rodney had come to love so much.

Rodney swallowed, unsure what to say when the silence became awkward between them. “You can feel it, too, right?” he mumbled and John frowned slightly. “Feel what, Mer?” he asked and Rodney flinched, because somehow, he had expected that John would call him Rodney and not Mer.

“What I feel,” he said, avoiding John's gaze.

“Yes, I can feel what you feel. I cannot detect your feelings properly, but, I guess that we will learn how to differentiate our own feelings from the emotions the other one feels,” John replied thoughtfully. Rodney shot him a quick glance, biting his lip.

“That probably means that it worked and that we are soul-mates now,” he said reluctantly. “Do you remember what happened in the pod?”

John slowly nodded his head, watching Rodney with an unreadable expression on his handsome features. “Yes, I do, Mer,” he answered after a while.

Rodney swallowed again. He could feel John's emotions, it felt like a warm and steady flow of warmth, life and energy and it was something Rodney admittedly could get used to very quickly and easily. It was comforting and sweet like honey and it calmed him down although he still felt uncertain and embarrassed.

“What now?” he inquired and John shrugged his shoulders and smiled his crooked smile again. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his BDU and cocked his head to the side. “Now, we have to go back to Todd and Kenny and return to Atlantis. And there, we probably have to make the last step and cement our soul-bond,” he stated and all Rodney could do was staring at John, shocked and speechless, because he knew exactly what the hazel-eyed colonel had meant.

Rodney would have to sleep with John and then, John would finally know how Rodney felt for him, something Rodney had never wished to happen.


	12. Back In Atlantis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rodney have bonded in these pods and now have to finish the process to cement the created bond. For this, they have to go back to the city and deal with the others knowing what they'll have to do. But, there is also one thing Rodney has almost forgotten, but, John obviously has not...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm eager to let Rodney and John become true soul-mates and therefore hurried with this chapter, even though real life was interferring. Unfortunately, Rodney reminded John of something important and the solution of this issue will be part of the next chapter, so the end could be considered as some kind of cliffhanger, I guees.  
> I hope you will like the new chapter and follow the story along to its end!

The way back was as unnerving as the way to the pods had been, probably even more because Rodney couldn't think of anything else than the forthcoming happenings in Atlantis and how he could hide his true feelings from the hazel-eyed colonel. How was he supposed to behave as if his emotions were only caused by this soul-bonding thing they had gone through when he had loved John for such a long time before, most likely since they had first met, even though he hadn't realized it back then?

He could feel John's questioning look upon him from time to time, but he stubbornly avoided those tempting depths that would only weaken his resolve to hide his true feelings from the other man. John didn't love him and having to set him free after three months when they would return to their own reality – if they would be able to return, because that was still the matter in question – would break his heart - that much Rodney knew for sure. But, he somehow would deal with his broken heart, he had learned to deal with unrequited love before and he would learn to get on with this unrequited love, as well.

Confessing his love however would break their friendship and this was something Rodney would not be able to deal with, because John's friendship was the center of his entire existence, the one thing he circled around like a planet circled around its star and losing his sun – John's friendship – would mean the end of all he lived for.

The warm and steady flow of John's emotions swept through him, offering some unexpected comfort and drawing him to the dark-haired colonel like a moth would be drawn to the light that would finally burn it. Rodney found himself walking closer and closer by John's side during their march through the wilderness and John didn't object as their shoulders and arms brushed against each other from time to time. Rodney desperately tried to keep his own effervescent emotions at bay during their walk, not sure if he was successful with that and which emotions John could pick up and detect.

John didn't try to talk to him, obviously deeply lost in his own thoughts, but his hand briefly grazed over his own hand now and then in a reassuring gesture and Rodney was grateful that he didn't have to answer questions he simply wasn't ready to answer at the moment.

When they finally reached the Gate, they found Todd and his soul-mate and second-in-command Kenny seated comfortably on the soft and fragrant grass with Kenny's head in his Commander's lap. Rodney swallowed at the uncommon sight, not only because of the display of intimacy the two Wraith showed, but also because of their relaxed and unguarded behavior. He stopped as if he had run against an invisible barrier and John bumped into him, unable to come to halt in time with Rodney's surprising stop. It took Rodney several seconds to remember what the Wraith had told him about this planet – that nobody who came here had to fear an attack, because every living sentient being knew about the importance of the soul-bonding and respected this special planet where the bond would be initiated as the one place where even enemies could meet without breaking the peace and the truce that were needed for the bonding.

Todd smiled at them, sparkles of amusement dancing in his golden cat's eyes as he considered them thoughtfully. “Your bonding has proved to be successfully,” he stated the obvious in his multi-toned voice, pushing his mate in an upright position to stand up with one single fluid move. John let out an halfway amused and halfway annoyed snort. “It seems so. What now?”

Kenny quirked one hairless eye ridge at this rather stupid question, and Rodney was uncomfortably reminded of the fact that Wraith had a much better sense of smell, meaning that Todd and Kenny could smell at least his strong and unsatisfied arousal. He blushed under Todd's ironical gaze, asking himself not for the first time if he would ever get used to his new habit of blushing all the time.

“We will return to Atlantis where you will cement your bond and take the last step to become true soul-mates,” Todd remarked almost nonchalantly, shooting another quick glance in Rodney's direction. “You are two grown ups, I'm sure that you know what I mean,” he then drawled as he caught John's gaze in Rodney's direction.

“Uhm, yes, thank you,” Rodney mumbled turning his head to look around. “How long did it take?” he asked to change the topic. They had arrived on that planet in the early afternoon and judging by the altitude of the sun, it was still afternoon or, which was more likely, afternoon again. They had needed three hours to reach the pods and their way back hadn't been much shorter, so at least one day must have passed during their stay in the pods.

“Three days, McKay,” Todd answered and this really took Rodney completely by surprise. They had stayed three days in the pods? He hadn't eaten for three days? He didn't feel hungry at all at the moment and this hardly could be after three days without food.

“The pods provided you with everything you needed, McKay,” Todd answered his unspoken question and John beside him nodded. “Yes, that makes sense, after all, the pods are similar to the stasis pods we found in Atlantis. Three days – is this a good or a bad sign?” he asked, his voice sounding a little bit huskily.

Todd pursed his lips. “A good sign, Sheppard. Your bond is strong, I can feel it. It almost seems to be stronger than the bond of our Sheppard and Rodney. I have to admit that I'm surprised. I knew that your bonding would be successful, but, I hadn't expected this strength.”

Rodney bit his lip because a hot wave of emotions rushed through him all of a sudden, leaving him tingling and aching to be as close to John as two beings only could be. John flinched as he got Rodney's answer through the bond, looking at him with questioning eyes.

Rodney straightened his shoulders, accepting the inevitable. “Let's dial Atlantis and go back then,” he said, walking to the dialing console and pressing down the first chevron with a determined gesture.

 

\-------------------------------------------------------

 

They had gone back to Atlantis where Elizabeth had already waited for their return anxiously. Todd had informed her through the Gate that John and Rodney had heard the siren's call coming from the pods, but, she had become nervous because not one single bonding she knew about had ever taken that long before.

Now, they sat in her office with Todd, Kenny and Teyla and Rodney found himself shifting his weight uncomfortably on his stool, his yearning for John becoming stronger with every minute that passed. Rodney somehow felt like a puppet on a string and the one holding the string – whoever it might be – pulled at the string, dragging him closer and closer to the hazel-eyed colonel. Rodney would have liked to crawl on his lap and bury his face in the crook of his warm neck and if he read the expression on John's face right, his friend and teamleader felt much the same, because John unconsciously had moved his chair closer to Rodney's during the meeting.

Rodney wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to endure this, his craving to be alone with John and finally get his hands on him increased in an almost ridiculous pace. Even his worries about John finding out about his true feelings didn't concern him any longer, all he wanted to do was feeling him close to his aching body.

Todd shot him a knowing look, suppressing an amused smirk.

“I suggest that I start with the research here in Atlantis, I'm sure that I will find more about this planet in the city's database while we're waiting for Sheppard and McKay – hm – to complete the bonding,” the ancient Wraith Commander said in an impassive voice, but, Rodney was damn sure that the bastard was truly enjoying himself. “I'm sure that this will take a while, so I certainly will have enough time to verify my own data and run some simulations if I'm allowed to use your labs and your equipment, Elizabeth,” the impressive alien then added in the same polite tone and another appraising glance in their direction.

Rodney's cheeks burned with new redness, but, he didn't care about this thing any longer, too, all he cared about was returning to their quarters and finding out if the turmoil of the emotions floating through him had something to do with John desiring him as much as he desired John. He couldn't discern particular feelings, it was all a whirling mess proving to him that John was as confused and upset as he was, even though his face was nearly unreadable, at least to those who didn't know the colonel as good as he knew him. But, his eyes seemed to give him away and Rodney felt utterly relieved that he wasn't the only one feeling this strong mating urge. John might not love him, but at least, he desired him and for now, it had to be enough.

Elizabeth chewed on her lip and it was obvious that she would have liked to hear more about the bonding – either because of her natural female curiosity or because of her concern as the leader of the city, Rodney wasn't sure which part actually might be stronger, but she accepted Todd's suggestion without any protest and only nodded her head.

“Of course, Todd, we will support you in the best way possible, as always. John, Rodney, I'm sure that you want to return to your quarters now. I will make sure that no one will disturb you. Major Lorne will be in charge until you have – finished – your bonding,” the female leader of the city said while she stood up, briefly stroking Teyla's arm. “If someone asks question, we will say that you withdraw for the cleaning ritual.”

John frowned at this. “Cleaning ritual?” he drawled, arching an eyebrow at her.

Teyla smiled reassuringly. “Sometimes, things can affect the bond between soul-mates. A big quarrel for example or a mission that has gone wrong or something else like this. If this happens, the soul-mates go through the cleaning ritual to restrengthen their bond. No one will ask you what happened, don't worry. Your privacy will be respected, because every couple has to go through this ritual at least once.”

Rodney snorted inwardly about the Athosian's last sentence, because his privacy had become a public matter ever since they had stumbled into this reality. They had been forced to bond with each other against their will and not only Teyla and Elizabeth would know exactly what they were about to do in their quarters during the next hours, but also the two Wraith Todd and Kenny and of course, Major Lorne and Ronon Dex and these were six people of them too much knowing what was going on to Rodney's liking.

But, he could do nothing against it and so he only shrugged, hauling himself out of his chair. “Okay, let's get started with the last part then!” he remarked with grim mockery heading towards the door. He felt as if he would choke the very next second and he needed to get out of the small office to be able to breathe properly again. He heard the sound of John rising to his feet and yelling after him, but, he didn't wait or turn around, fleeing from everything and everyone as he stormed out of the room and in the direction where the transporters were, blind and deaf to anything else than his despair, his humiliation and his overwhelming wish to be alone for at least a few minutes. Sometimes, one had to be grateful for even the smallest mercies and being alone for a couple of minutes right now was one of them he thought when the door of the transporter closed behind him, locking everyone else out.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

When John entered their quarters thirty minutes later, Rodney was standing at the window, staring outside and watching the clouds traveling slowly over the after the sunset darkening sky.

He paused in the doorway and Rodney could feel his eyes upon his back, sizing him up. He knew what the colonel was seeing, his back was stiff as a poker and he had bit his lip so hard that he had bruised it and drawn blood.

“What took you so long?” he finally asked to break the unbearable silence when John did nothing than just stand there, leaning at the door and watching him thoughtfully.

“I thought that you needed some time alone and so I walked to our quarters instead of taking the transporters,” John answered quietly and Rodney bit his lip again, flinching as his teeth dug into the sore spot.

John pushed himself away from the door and crossed the living room to step beside him. Rodney watched him looking at him from the corner of his eye, chewing on his swollen bottom lip.

“I'm so sorry, John – for all of this! It's my fault that we're stuck here and that we had to bond and to... and I'm truly sorry for causing trouble again! I know that you didn't want to...”

“Hush, Mer, everything's fine,” John whispered, laying his finger on his trembling lips. “You don't have to apologize for anything.”

He gently turned Rodney around until they were facing each other and Rodney stared into the hazel depths, feeling as if he would drown in those most of the times unreadable eyes. John normally was a master in hiding his feelings, but right now, he let Rodney see his own desire and longing. He ran a calloused thumb over Rodney's stubbly cheek and his smooth upper lip, his hungry eyes fixed on the from all of the biting red mouth.

Rodney swallowed as his hands came to rest on John's narrow hips as naturally as if they had every right to be there, pulling the other man closer to his aching body. He remembered the incredible kiss they had shared in Jennifer's and Katie's quarters and he unconsciously closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side as John invaded his space, his own lips replacing his thumb as he claimed Rodney's mouth once again, making clear that he considered it as his own rightful territory.

Rodney moaned softly as John licked up the little drop of blood with his curious tongue, taking in his soul-mate's special taste and demanding entrance into the sweet cavern he wanted to conquer and to explore. Rodney opened his mouth, letting John in, surrendering to the colonel as he began a playful battle with Rodney's tongue, inviting him to the old passionate dance so many soul-mates had danced before them.

Rodney's arms slipped around John's slim waist, searching for a hold to ground him because he felt like flying with his desire and longing, his mind dazed and dizzy with the strong emotions floating through their bond he couldn't separate into John's and his own any longer, both of them intermingled in a way that it felt as if they were truly one soul with two bodies.

John deepened the kiss, licking, nibbling and biting until passion exploded between them and they clung to each other, John's fingers digging painfully in Rodney's scalp where he had buried his hand in his short brown hair while John's other hand pressed his butt demandingly against his groin.

Rodney could feel the colonel's erection rubbing against his own with wanton need and this almost made him come because of his own desperate unfulfilled desire he had suppressed for so long and which had increased to an incredible amount of lust and ardor after their time in those pods.

He gasped and moaned into the kiss, needy little sounds, pleading and begging John to do more than just kiss him and John answered to his pleas with a low growl deep in his throat, the noises he made sounding like the roar of a big cat.

When the need for air finally became stronger than their need to kiss each other senseless, Rodney drew back from John's now also swollen lips, panting: “God, John, I want you! I never wanted anyone else like I want you now!”

This apparently had been the wrong thing to say because John drew back from him all of a sudden as if he had burned himself, blinking against his own haze of lust and desire and staring at Rodney with blank eyes.

Rodney didn't know what he had done to make John recoil from him and he tried grasp his arm again, but, John stepped back, hastily, shaking his head.

“I'm sorry, Mer, I can't do this,” John said in a flat voice. “I can't cheat on Jennifer with you.”


	13. Burning In Your Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John doesn't want to cheat on Jennifer with Rodney. How will Rodney react? Will he tell John the truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will take a while because I really need to update all of my other WIPs, but, I thought that I owe you the final bonding before. So, here's the new chapter, Rodney and John finally together! Enjoy reading it and please, let me know if you liked it!

John had just finished his sentence when he turned around and fled from their room, leaving Rodney standing there frozen in place and unable to react in time.

He heard the door whooshing shut while he simply stared at the now empty spot in front of him where John had stood only three seconds before, his thoughts spinning around in his head until he had to reach out with his hand and steady himself by grabbing the seat back of the chair nearby to not sink down on the floor.

Realization hit him with such strength that he bent forward with a groan because of the sharp pain he felt in his stomach.

“John thinks that I'm still with Jennifer. Of course, he is too genuine to cheat on anyone. That's one of the reasons why I love him so much. I need to find him, to tell him...”

He hadn't even finished his murmured speech to himself as the door closed behind him, as well, and he found himself standing in the abandoned corridor before their quarters. Strange as it was, but Rodney didn't think of them as their counterparts' quarters any longer, but of their own quarters. Somehow, this reality had become his new home and although he still felt homesick and wanted to go back to his own reality, but, for the next three months, this Atlantis would be his home in every possible way.

He looked up and down the corridor, desperate where he should go to find John when he felt a strong surge of strange feelings rushing through him. Their bond. This still new and mysterious connection between them urged him to turn to the right and follow its 'call', and Rodney obeyed and headed along the corridor, letting John's emotions pull on him and guide him in the right direction.

He didn't know if John was able to feel that he was coming after him and he did his best to keep his own confused and overwhelming feelings as calm and smooth as he was capable of in his own disheveled state while he was searching for him.

Rodney was quite aware of the fact that John knew Atlantis better than anyone else and wouldn't be found if he didn't want to be found, at least by someone who wasn't connected with him like Rodney was. But, Rodney knew the city himself almost as good as John knew it and he also had learned enough about the places where John went when he wanted to be alone. John surely would avoid to meet other inhabitants while he sought shelter from the man he was supposed to finish the bonding with, and Rodney hid himself in the shadows to stay unnoticed and not arouse any suspicions while he made his way down to the lower levels of the Ancient's city.

He wasn't surprised about John's choice, because of the emotions he received through their bond, distress, fury, confusion, despair and unfulfilled desire. John was as depressed and frustrated as Rodney would never have thought he could be because of him and of course, he would go to the deepest levels of the city, matching the choice of his shelter with his feelings.

Rodney lost all track of time, chasing almost blindly after his soul-mate, because that's what John was, no matter if they had finished the bonding or not so far, and he couldn't tell if he had hunted him for two hours or only fifteen minutes when he finally had cornered him in one of the empty storage-rooms that had been flooded only a couple of months before.

No one came down here because it still wasn't quite safe in this area and this most likely had been the reason why the hazel-eyed colonel had chosen this place to hide himself and lick his wounds.

John had crouched down on the ground with his knees pulled to his bent torso and his arms wrapped around his knees tightly. He had buried his face in his arms and Rodney could see his radio lying next to him on the dusty ground.

“Go away, Rodney, please, leave me alone,” John said without raising his head, his voice sounding exhausted and strangled, when Rodney finally reached him, crouching down before him.

Another sharp sting cut through his stomach as John addressed him with the name he hadn't used any more ever since they had stranded here and heard about the soul-bond of their twins.

“John, please, listen to me. I'm not together with Jennifer,” Rodney said desperately, reaching out with his hand and placing his trembling fingers on John's elbow next to the messy dark hair, because he really _needed_ to touch him now.

John only snorted. “Not in this reality, Rodney.” His voice sounded bitterly and Rodney flinched at the accusation.

“No, I – I meant, I'm not together with Jennifer, at all. Neither in this reality – nor in our own...” his voice had become more and more quiet until it was only an almost inaudible whisper, but, John had heard him nonetheless. He raised his head, staring at Rodney with still blank eyes.

“Not?” he asked back, watching Rodney impassively. Rodney bit his lip and slowly shook his head. “No. She broke up with me before we stumbled into this reality.” Rodney swallowed and drew in a shaky breath. “Our breakup actually was the reason why I wanted to distract me by exploring this unknown lab,” he admitted subdued, lowering his eyes to the ground where John's radio lay, unable to look into those blank eyes any longer.

A long, heavy and uneasy silence spread out between them and Rodney nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other, the crouching position becoming pretty uncomfortable as the silence stretched between them, filled only with the emotions floating back and forth between them. John had calmed down in the meantime and Rodney couldn't detect his emotions as easily as he had during their run through the city, it felt as if John had withdrawn behind a barrier Rodney could not overcome.

“Why haven't you told me that earlier?” John finally asked silently.

Rodney shrugged his shoulders in a helpless gesture. “I don't know. I simply couldn't. I felt so ashamed because you actually were the reason for our breakup. Jennifer told me that I should make up my mind and think about what I truly want, because she didn't want to wait for me any longer and hope for me to give her what she needed and which I couldn't give her. She said that she was tired of being second best – after you. I didn't want to ruin our friendship,” he added a little bit lamely.

A sudden rush of wild and unguarded emotions surging through him made him flinch and he fell down on his ass, staring up at John with confusion. John's face was still impassive, but his hazel-green eyes shone almost golden with a fire Rodney had never seen in them before. He swallowed when he noticed John's changed position, the dark-haired colonel had clenched his fist around his radio and cracked it in an unconscious gesture and he was tense like an arrow, balancing on his feet like a predator ready to jump its prey.

Rodney stumbled back, frightened and unsure what of the things he had said had upset John that much. “Go to our quarters, Mer, now!” John growled deep in his throat and Rodney hurried to get up on his feet. “B-b-but...” he stammered and John made another growling sound, reminding Rodney of the sounds 'his' John had made in the dream-reality of their pods when he had been changed into this bug-like creature. But, back then, his growling had never sounded that threatening.

“Go to our quarters, Mer, or we won't make it there, at all. Now!”

Rodney obeyed hastily and turned around, running back where he had come from without thinking. He didn't try to hide from other inhabitants any longer, he simply ran through the corridors and jumped into the transporters as if he were fleeing from a Wraith who was hunting him; and when he finally reached the safety of their quarters, he was totally out of breath and sweat burnt in his eyes.

 

\------------------------------------------------

 

For one moment, he stood there with closed eyes and balled fists, trying to catch his breath. When he heard a sound coming from the door, he turned around and opened his eyes just in time to see a dark shadow flying through the air and then, a slim but nonetheless strong and heavy body crushed him, pinning him against the wall next to the door and the little air he had been able to force back into his system was pressed out of his hurting lungs.

John's mouth was back on his own, opened widely and hungrily, all lips and teeth and tongue. Their teeth clattered against each other in a kiss that wasn't refined, gentle, smooth or anything like that, but raw, hungry and desperate, filled with so much passion, yearning desire and despair that Rodney thought he might burn in its fire. John's tongue filled his mouth, explored it, conquered it, claimed it in a way Rodney hadn't known a kiss could ever be and all he could do was kiss the hazel-eyed colonel back with the same desperation, need and longing and surrender to the other man who possessed his heart and his soul, completely and unquestioningly.

Just when he thought that he would black out the very next second, John drew back from him and two calloused hands grasped him and pushed him towards their bedroom. Rodney obeyed, stumbling back, swaying because of the dizziness he felt, and he was deeply grateful for the hands that kept him upright while he was shoved backwards. His own hands searched blindly for John's shoulders and began to fiddle with the buttons of his shirt and John hissed contentedly and let go of Rodney's arms to unfasten the belt of his trousers.

The bedroom seemed to be miles away, but, finally they stood before their large bed, ripping each other's clothes from their trembling bodies. Rodney avoided John's eyes looking at him with this burning desire the entire time because he knew for sure that he wouldn't stand his heated gaze and the emotions that swept through their bond, floating from John straight into him, the overwhelming sensations simply too much to bear.

John seemed to understand him, because the other man made no attempt to lift up his chin and meet his eyes. There was no room for words, either, the only sounds filling the cool air of their bedroom were their gasps and silent moans, their harsh panting and the rustling of their clothes and the clattering sound as Rodney's radio hit the ground.

Finally naked, they fell down on the bed with Rodney on his back and John on top of him, and the feeling of John's hot and strong body, naked and obviously aroused pressing against his own for the very first time made Rodney cry out with desire and need. A similar strangled cry fled from John's lips before they were on his mouth again and Rodney's hands roamed feverishly over the sweaty skin of John's back, enjoying the play of the muscles twitching under his touch, exploring the other male with rapt devotion. John's tongue challenged his own, inviting it for another passionate dance and Rodney threaded his fingers through John's already tousled hair and pulled him closer to him to reach every spot in the tempting cavern he had longed to explore for so long.

He kept his eyes shut, focusing only on the sensation of their touches and caresses and the whirling emotions swaying back and forth through their bond, intermingling until Rodney didn't know any longer which emotions were his own and which emotions he experienced from the shivering man in his arms. Only when John forced one of his knees between his legs, parting them and rubbing himself demandingly against Rodney's groin, he tensed with uncertainty and fear. It was apparent that John had reached the very edge of his self-control and Rodney needed to calm him down a little bit.

“John, John, please wait!” he stammered, pushing against his shoulders, wondering briefly how such a slim body could be that heavy and immobile, being able to trap him and pin him down on the mattress that effectively.

John eventually let go of his bruised and swollen lips, staring down at him with hooded eyes. “What?” he inquired and his voice was as raw and hoarse with his desire as Rodney had never heard it before. “Do you want me to stop?”

Rodney smiled, caressing John's stubbly cheek with his thumb. “No, John. It's only – I've never done this before – with a guy, I mean. Can we please slow down a little bit? I want you – God, you have no idea how much I want you, I just need to – please?”

John considered him for a while with wonder and happiness in his wonderful still almost golden eyes. “Never?” he asked silently and Rodney could feel a strong wave of possessiveness and pride washing over him – John's pride and possessiveness.

“Never,” Rodney repeated, feeling a little bit sheepishly and unsure, but, John's tender gaze affirmed him that there was no need to worry about anything. “I want you,” he whispered. “It's only...”

“Hush, it's fine, Mer. I will never hurt you, I promise you.” John brushed gently with his thumb over his sensitive lips, smiling tenderly at him. “We will take our time,” he said, and the burning heat in his gaze changed into the soft glowing of tenderness and affection. When Rodney gratefully relaxed, he bent down again, kissing Rodney softly on his lips before he began to dab kisses on every single spot of his face.

“You're mine, Mer, all mine,” he murmured and Rodney pulled him close, arching against him. “Yes, John, I'm yours, have always been,” he confessed and was rewarded with a soft moan and more kisses, but, John wasn't as urgent and impatient as he had been at the beginning any more and

Rodney realized that his strong urge had come from John's wish to erase every single remembrance of other male lovers Rodney might have had before him from his mind.

Now, that he knew that there hadn't been any other male lover, his drive to mark him as his own and to prove to him that he was the only one for Rodney had faded a little bit. Instead, he took his time now to explore Rodney's body thoroughly, lavishing attention on his hard nipples and his soft belly. His hands traveled down on Rodney's body with rapt devotion, caressing every inch of the warm and sweaty skin until he reached the one part where Rodney was desperately aching for John's gentle ministration. His breath faltered as John touched his hard member with curious fingers, stroking just with the fingertips over the throbbing length and Rodney shivered violently underneath John's hard body.

“John!” he croaked out, his voice being only a high-pitched whimpering plea.

“Yes, Mer, I'll give you what you need, I want you, God, Mer, you have no idea how much I want you!” John breathed against his navel and Rodney shivered again.

“Want you, too, John!” he whimpered again, reaching out for John to stroke him, as well. John pushed his hands away. “It will be over before it really started if you'll do this. I want you too much,” he admitted, gazing at Rodney with the crooked boyish smile he had come to love so much over the years.

His emotions warmed Rodney from the inside, floating through his body like warm and sweet honey and spreading out in every cell of Rodney's body. “But, I want to touch you, too, John!” he begged and John soothed him with a tender kiss. “Please, Mer, let me have you the way I want to – I need to, please,” he asked him, nibbling at his lips until they were tingling.

“Okay,” he whispered, making himself comfortable on the pillow and watching John caressing his pale skin with his mouth and his hands.

He lay still, letting John do with his body whatever he wanted to do, dwelling in their shared emotions and the expression of adoration on John's handsome features. John might not love him, but, he truly desired him and Rodney didn't care if it was only because of the soul-bond they had been forced into or if John really wanted him.

John stroked his rock-hard shaft, wet and slick with the pre-come that leaked out of the sensitive slit and soon, he found himself moaning and gasping constantly, unable to hold back the silent and sweet noises of the lust and passion he felt. But, when he was getting close, he realized that this wasn't what he really wanted. He wanted to be as close to John as two beings only could be and he pushed John's hand away and pulled at his hair. John raised his head and looked at him, his eyes almost black with his own arousal.

“Mer?” he asked rough and concerned and Rodney lifted his shaking hand up to his face. “I want to belong to you, completely, John,” he said sincerely. “I want to be yours!”

“Are you sure?” John considered him with this burning fire in his eyes and Rodney could feel the overwhelming desire and longing the other man felt by the thought of possessing Rodney this way.

“Yes, I am. Take me, John. I want you to. I never wanted anything as much as I want you.”

John looked at him for one more minute, but then, he bent over him and roamed in the drawer of the bedside table until he had found what he had been searching for. The hazel eyes never left Rodney's face as he coated his fingers with the cool liquid, snaking his hand between Rodney's thighs.

Rodney spread his legs to give him better access, feeling no fear, only anticipation and longing. John didn't try to push inside when he felt Rodney's willingness, he just massaged the puckered rosebud from the outside until the tight muscle was relaxed enough that he could slide his finger inside without causing Rodney any pain. If someone had asked Rodney before this if he would find this embarrassing, Rodney surely would have nodded his head, blushed and winced in shame. But right now, lying here in John's arms, there was no awkwardness or embarrassment, at all. Everything felt naturally and right and Rodney returned John's gaze with loving eyes, letting him see how much John pleasured him and how much he wanted to feel him inside his secret core. He remembered the pleasure he had felt in their 'dream-reality' of the pods and there was no shame or fear as John prepared him tenderly and lovingly with one finger first, then two and finally three. The hazel-eyed colonel seemed to know exactly what he was doing and when he found the oh-so sensitive spot inside of him, Rodney cried out with pleasure and need.

“Need you, John,” he whispered. “Need to be yours.”

John kissed him while he lined himself up, covering Rodney with his strong body once more. Now, Rodney closed his eyes, inhaling deeply in the attempt to relax even more and enjoy the moment when John entered him and finally made him his.

John's musky fragrant scent filled his nose and his entire being and Rodney moaned loudly into the kiss. The colonel's three-days stubble scratched the sensitive skin around his mouth, burning it, but, Rodney loved this burn because this was what he had longed to feel for so many years, asking himself how it would be like to be kissed by this man.

John now slowly pushed into him, breaching his muscle and stretching him in a way Rodney hadn't known that one could be stretched and he simply loved it. It was clear that John held himself back, Rodney could tell this by the trembling he felt as he dug his nails into John's sweaty back and by the tension in the male body covering his. John was pure maleness and his urge to possess Rodney unquestioningly rolled through their bond again as he sheathed his hard spear, all rock-hard steel wrapped in smooth velvet in Rodney's welcoming tight heat in an almost torturing slow pace.

Rodney finally sped things up by twining his legs around John's waist and pulling him down on him. “Not that slow, John!” he encouraged him, his words a breathless chuckle as John happily obeyed, burying himself to the hilt in Rodney's core with one last quick thrust.

Then, they simply lay there for a few seconds in awe and wonder, both of them too deeply touched to do anything else than just hold each other tight and dwelling in their closeness, sharing their emotions through their widely opened bond.

But then, their desire took over control and John began to move, pulling almost out and thrusting all the way in again until Rodney's world only existed of the bed he was lying in and the man possessing not only his body, but his heart and soul. He moved against him, pushing his hips up desperately to feel John as deep as possible and the sensation of his leaking cock rubbing against John's hard abdomen made him shiver with arousal and lust.

“Need you, need to feel you deeper!” he begged pleadingly and John growled this special growl Rodney had never heard before, the growl he had reserved for Rodney only, shifting his angle until he filled Rodney so deep that he cried out loudly with the almost unbearable sensation.

“Give yourself to me, Mer, I need you to be mine!” John demanded, his voice raw and hoarse with his own burning desire, claiming Rodney's trembling salty lips in another bruising passionate kiss. His thrusts became more erratic and Rodney could feel how close the other man was, clinging to the last shreds of his self-control to not come before Rodney would reach the height of ecstasy, as well.

To feel John's lust and pleasure, together with the constant hammering against his sweet spot was all Rodney needed to come undone himself and he arched into the next thrust, opening his mouth to a soundless cry as his world exploded into a million glittering pieces, hot pleasure spurting in fast jets between their connected bodies.

John followed him over the edge with the next deep thrust, shuddering violently through his own throes of passion and his hoarse moan was an echo of Rodney's own cry. He pumped his seed deep into him, claiming and marking him as his, and Rodney's secret core swallowed eagerly every single drop, wanting nothing more than to be John's for all of the time. Their ecstasy and passion intermingled in the bond, becoming one like their bodies and souls and for one long moment, they were truly only one single being while their shared intimacy and pleasure finished the bonding, tying them together for the rest of their lives.

From this moment on, Rodney and John would be true soul-mates until their time on earth would end.


	14. Surrounded By Your Warmth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Rodney completed their bonding and finally slept with each other. Will they still be as close as they were the next morning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear SD83, I want to dedicate this chapter to you, because you are the one supporting me and this story in the most lovely way right from the beginning. You reminded me nicely on my 'duties' and I hurried with writing it to not let you wait any longer.
> 
> This is another very explicit chapter, I wanted to explore their soul-bond a little bit further and what could be better for that than another intimate situation? The next chapter will go on with the plot, but, it will take a while again, because my Wraith are waiting eagerly for my attention, as well.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter and please, give me feedback and tell me if you liked it!

Rodney woke up being wrapped in warmth and happiness, and the sensation of two firm arms holding him tight and pressing him against a strong-muscled chest and a flat abdomen made him sigh with pure bliss. He could feel through their bond that John was still sound asleep and he had the suspicion that John had been awake for quite some time after Rodney falling asleep in his arms the previous night.

Rodney slowly stretched his legs to find a more comfortable position after lying on the same side for hours, carefully not to wake up the hazel-eyed colonel who was now his soul-mate. After a while, Rodney opened his eyes, looking around in their bedroom which was actually the bedroom of their counterparts, but which felt like their own bedroom after the happenings of the last days and especially the last night.

It was still rather dark outside and Rodney wasn't in a hurry to get up, enjoying the warmth and closeness and the feeling of being safe and wanted. Apart from that, Teyla had explained to them that no one would expect them to work during the next two days because of that ostensibly cleaning ritual and only an emergency like an attack from space or a bad malfunction would change that. They could stay in bed and make love the entire day and if John's behavior from the previous night was any indication, then Rodney was pretty sure that they would stay in bed for most of this day.

He smiled. Not that he had any complaints about the staying-in-bed-and-making-love-part. Quite the opposite. His only concern was that he might spill some love confessions in the heat of passion they both weren't ready for. Rodney didn't believe that John would take such a declaration very well and he also didn't want to reveal his secret until he knew how John felt about him.

For half an hour or so, he wallowed in the memories of their special first night, but then, the slight stirring of John against his back broke in on his reverie and he closed his eyes again, focusing on the emotions he could feel flowing through their bond.

Since their finished bonding, the connection had stabilized and John's feelings weren't a whirling and rushing mess any longer, but a constant flow of warmth and reassurance and it felt like warm milk with honey floating down your sore throat when you were sick and your mother gave you this special medicine to make you feel better.

The sleepy disorientation and laziness slowly changed to wakefulness and thoughtfulness and Rodney could tell the moment John's memory clicked into place by John suddenly shifting his weight and pressing his hard morning erection against Rodney's butt, demandingly and possessively. Rodney had never seen this side of John and he loved it. He loved to be claimed and possessed and to be the colonel's property and his own half-hard morning erection answered to the tempting feeling of John's arousal nudging against the cleft between his butt cheeks with a happy twitch.

A content sigh escaped his lips as he wriggled with his backside to feel John even closer and he mused briefly about the fact that he would never be able to fake sleep again, because John of course could feel whether he was truly asleep or not through their bond as much as Rodney would, before tender teeth nipping at the soft flesh of his shoulder distracted him effectively from his thoughts.

Rodney tilted his head to the side, allowing the teeth to nip their way along his neck to his sensitive ear until they got hold onto his earlobe, rolling it between them. Another sound slipped from Rodney's mouth, more needy this time. The warm puffs of a breathless chuckle tickled his stubbly cheek and calloused palms began to travel along his chest down to the lower parts of his body where the unmistakable proof of Rodney's arousal was waiting eagerly for their tender ministration.

“Hm, mine, this is all mine now, Mer,” John's low and deep growl sent shivers along Rodney's spine and he pressed back and rubbed his ass against John's groin which earned him another low growl and strong fingers digging in his hipbone to keep him from doing so.

“Don't do that, Mer! It's my turn,” the colonel breathed into his ear and Rodney let out a frustrated groan and tried to turn around in John's arms.

“It was your turn yesterday and now, it's my turn!” he complained, but the teeth gnawing forcefully at the sensitive flesh of his shoulder one more time silenced him very quickly.

“It will be your turn, soon, Mer, I promise you. But now, let me have my way with you. You will enjoy it, I promise you,” John whispered hoarsely and Rodney finally gave in and relaxed, sensing his soul-mate's strong urge to claim him again through their bond. The steady warm and calming flow had changed and now, it felt as if Rodney was standing at the shore of a stormy sea and the heavy breakers were washing over him, threatening to knock his balance off and pull his feet from underneath his legs. If John needed to claim him in his own way again, then Rodney would let him do it.

Rodney hadn't realized until the previous evening how much the thought of cheating on Jennifer when they were finally supposed to complete the bonding by sleeping with each other had pressed down on John's shoulders like a heavy weight and he had a bad conscience because of that.

“Then have me, John,” he murmured encouragingly, relaxing in John's strong arms. He closed his eyes, focusing on the emotions he could feel swapping through their bond and he tried to send soothing thoughts to John to show him that he understood his feelings. It was new, a little bit strange and difficult and Rodney didn't know whether his attempts were successful or not, but when the turmoil of John's emotions slowed down and the stormy breakers became kind of slowly and steadily rolling waves again, the sparks of John's desire being the only interferences within the steady flow, he knew that he had succeeded with his attempts.

John made small purring sounds deep in his throat as he started to kiss his way down on Rodney's back, his hands stroking his thighs and his abdomen, making sure that he didn't come near the one spot where Rodney's strong arousal strained proudly into the air, weeping for attention. Rodney moaned and shivered and when John reached his butt cheeks he tensed with embarrassment.

“John, what are you doing?” he gasped out as the hazel-eyed colonel spread his cheeks and licked over the small cleft between them.

“Relax, Mer. You promised me that I could have you my way!” John growled, his emotions starting to whirl again. Rodney bit his lip, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. He had never experienced something like what John obviously wanted to do now and he didn't know what to make out of it.

“John, please, I'm really not sure if...” he stammered sheepishly, but the sensation of a tongue slipping into that cleft made him first yelp and jerk and then becoming silent and lying there completely still apart from a slight trembling of his thighs because of the overwhelming sensation of a hot, wet and eager tongue exploring the most intimate parts of his body where nobody else had ever touched him, apart from Carson maybe, but if the Scottish doctor ever had, it most likely had been when he had been unconscious and gratefully couldn't remember it.

Rodney embraced his pillow and buried his face in it as the cheeky explorer circled his puckered rosebud, teasing it with cat-like licks before dipping into it, pulling a startled moan from the genius who knew so much about science and maths, but so little about those kind of pleasures.

It was different from everything he had ever felt before and it was also more arousing than anything he had ever felt before. John's tongue licked and his lips kissed the tight muscle until it loosened enough that John could dip into the small opening and when John began to stroke sensitive skin between Rodney's balls and his secret entrance with two fingers, Rodney wasn't able to hold back his desperate moans any longer.

“God, John, please...” he moaned, not sure what he was begging for. John purred again, pleased and spurred on by Rodney's reaction. Every cell of the scientist's body hummed with the pleasure and joy John gave to him and Rodney slowly relaxed.

The soothing wave of tenderness and John's pleasure of caressing him in this intimate way assured Rodney that there was nothing he needed to be ashamed of, nothing to worry about and Rodney relaxed and began to enjoy the wonderful feelings John's foreplay aroused in him. His rock-hard cock rubbed against the soft sheets as he wriggled and shivered underneath his soul-mate and John growled contentedly, blowing over the wet traces he had left. When he pushed one finger deep inside Rodney's secret core, the hazel-eyed colonel met no resistance and when he brushed over the sensitive spot that promised the most intensive pleasure Rodney had ever experienced when caressed, he arched into the touch, his cry muffled by the soft pillow.

“Ah, yes, Mer, give me more of your sweet noises,” John purred, adding a second finger as easily as the first one had slipped in Rodney's tight heat. John brushed against this oh so sensitive knob with every move now and Rodney rewarded his soul-mate with silent gasps, cries and moans, all the sweet sounds John wanted to draw from his with his efforts and every sound encouraged John to caress Rodney again and again, while his tongue licked around the place where his fingers disappeared in Rodney's body.

Rodney's mind was clouded with lust and need and his knuckles turned white because of the tight grip his hands clenched around his cushion with. He whimpered as the slight burn of being stretched with three fingers now boosted his arousal to an even higher level and Rodney knew that he wouldn't be able to stand this sweet torture any longer.

“John, please, I need you, I need to feel you now!” he begged in incoherent words, biting his lip to keep his feelings that threatened to overcome him right away at bay. The warm air in their bedroom was thick with the pheromones of male arousal and desire and John's wild desire seemed to burn him, inflaming his own need to welcome his soul-mate in his body and making him shake with raw need.

Rodney hadn't known that it would be like this, that it would be so overwhelming. He 'remembered' their encounter during the time they had been in the pods as if it had really happened and he had 'shared' John's feelings through the forming bond, as well, but the real experience was so much more intensive and pleasurable than this dream-reality had been and Rodney almost drowned in their intermingled passion and lust, feeling John not only in his body, but also in his mind, his heart and his soul.

When John pulled his fingers out to line himself up and make himself comfortable between Rodney's spread thighs, the cool air grazing over his sweaty back brought some of Rodney's reason back and for one tiny moment, Rodney felt fear and doubts, questioning himself what would happen when they didn't share pleasure or joy in this incredibly intimate way, but rage and fury or panic and fear.

“Hush, Mer. We will deal with that when it comes to that, not now,” John whispered, sensing Rodney's thoughts and worries. “I'm sure that we will learn to control our emotions and the bond, this is only because it is all new.”

Rodney sighed and relaxed again, knowing that John was right. There must be a way to control the bond and share only the things they wanted to share and it also wasn't as if they could read their thoughts clearly all of a sudden. They had come to know each other very well over the years and therefore could 'read' the thoughts behind the emotions, that was all.

John's lube-slicked pulsing manhood nudging his puckered rosebud banned every coherent thought from his mind and he arched his back into that touch like a tomcat that wanted to be stroked, moaning loudly.

“Ah, yes, John take me, pleasepleaseplease, God yes, as deep as you can!”

John panted softly in his ear as he slowly pushed in and Rodney didn't know from where the colonel took the strange to hold himself back and go that slow. He trembled as the feeling of being stretched and filled to his limits took his breath away, John's weight pressing against his back, his heat enclosing him as closely as his strong arms embraced him, making him sweat and gasp for air.

John pulled out in the same slow pace he had entered him and then thrust back all the way in, biting down hard on Rodney's abused shoulder. Rodney was pretty sure that there already was a big bruise, but, he couldn't have cared less about it. He was John's soul-mate and not one single person in this odd universe probably would find it strange that John had marked him this way as his. Teyla had explained to them that not everybody could sense the soul-bond between mates and such marks were visible signs keeping other people still searching their own soul-mate away.

“Crap! Shit, Mer, you feel so good!” John hissed with his teeth buried in his over-sensitive flesh and Rodney chuckled helplessly because of John's choice of words.

“It would feel even better if you weren't that slow!” he complained, pushing his backside up as best as he could with John's strong-muscled chest and abdomen pressing against his back.

His achingly hard cock rubbed over the satin-sheets with every slow and deep thrust and roll of John's narrow hips and the salty drops of lust John had milked from him with his passionate preparation smeared all over them, forming a big wet spot beneath Rodney's body.

John's breathless chuckle was an echo of his earlier one and the next violent snap of John's hips drew another loud cry from the scientist lying trapped underneath him.

“I want it slow, Mer. My way, remember?” he said, slapping his exposed ass cheek with his flat hand.

“Ouch!” Rodney yelped indignantly, but he braced willingly his knees and his elbows against the mattress as John pulled at his hips to lift them up, because he could feel John deeper this way, the engorged head of John's steel-hard member brushing over his prostate with every thrust in now.

Rodney didn't know from where he took the strength to not come just like that, but he wanted to savor their lovemaking to the fullest, although their shared lust and desire made it hard to resist the urge to just give in to his need. He could feel that John struggled as hard as he did, trying to let it last as long as possible, and Rodney stood the sweet torture for exactly five more slow thrusts before he begged, his voice almost sobbing: “John, please, God, please!”

John growled almost annoyed, but he obeyed, moving faster and harder until he drove into Rodney with single-minded determination, chasing their for so long denied release. His hand snaked around Rodney's mid-section the colonel's hot and sweaty palm wrapping itself around his leaking cock and moving up and down on it in the same relentless rhythm as he pounded the scientist into the mattress with.

Rodney squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lips and muffling his cries in the damp pillow, focusing on the rather hard task of keeping himself from confessing his undying love for his team-leader, best friend and now soul-mate out loud. He couldn't tell whether or not John could feel his love through the bond, whether he recognized the powerful waves of longing and desire Rodney sent through their deep connection as the love he truly felt for John, or if he just took them as something that had been created by those pods and the hallucinations they had been forced to share.

If he was lucky, then John would take his inappropriate love for him as the second because Rodney himself wasn't sure about the emotions he got through their link. He was able to differentiate most of the emotions John shared with him and he could feel how much the hazel-eyed colonel cared for him, but he couldn't tell whether John's feelings had been there before their bonding or if they had been created by the pod and this made him try even harder to hide his love from the other man.

Finally, the pounding and stroking and their intermingled passion and arousal became too much and Rodney lost himself in the throes of passion as he reached his peak, coating John's calloused hand with the proof of his ecstasy and pleasure as his release erupted from his twitching cock in fast jets, soaking the sheets underneath him.

Rodney opened his mouth but no sound came out, his breath taken away by the most intense climax he had ever had. John followed him after two more particular hard thrusts and the sensation of John pumping his seed into him and hot wetness filling his empty core extended his own pleasure until he thought he would black out the very next second. John silenced his own hoarse growl on Rodney's throat, pressing his lips and his nose against his damp skin and then, it was over and Rodney dropped down on the bed, his heart hammering in his chest, his blood thrumming in his ears, desperately trying to catch his breath.

John shuddered one last time before he lay still, crushing Rodney with his weight and panting softly in his ear. The fast whirling and rushing turmoil of their passion slowed down until it became the steady flow of the warm post-orgasmic afterglow swapping calmingly through both of them, forth and back from John to Rodney and back from Rodney to John again; and Rodney relaxed with a small sated purr, not caring about the fact that he lay in the middle of the wet spot his pleasure had left on the sheets.

He was sure that he could fall asleep like that again, with John lying on his back, but just when he was about to doze off, John shifted his weight and glided down from him on his right side, turning him gently around in his arms to kiss him. It was a tender kiss, soft and gentle, John's tongue taking its time to explore Rodney's mouth thoroughly and lazily. Rodney answered to his kiss, playing with the colonel's tongue with the same gentleness.

When they finally parted for air, Rodney smiled shakily at John. “Will it always be like that?” he whispered hoarsely and John smiled back, not the casual crooked smile he reserved for those who were just colleagues and not close to his heart, but an honest, wistful smile that reached his eyes and let them shine almost golden.

“I don't know, Mer. But we'll have enough time to find out, won't we?” he said, his voice as gentle as Rodney had never heard him speaking before.

“Yes, I guess, we will, John,” he replied, pulling him in for another kiss.


	15. Talking With Todd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title says: Rodney has an interesting talk with Todd. He also gets some unexpected help from him when it comes to his back ache. Who would have thought that Wraith are pretty good when it comes to massaging the kinks out of strained muscles after three passionate days with your new soul-mate?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, John won't show up in this chapter. Rodney has to work with Todd on his Hive because of the planet they want to find and he felt sore and his back ached. Todd offered his help and took the lead in this chapter from then on. John will show up in the next chapter again, I promise you. :-)

Rodney stifled his pained groan as he circled his shoulders and his head to ease the horrible ache in his tensed muscles after having been bent over his laptop for what felt like an eternity. He squeezed his eyes shut and turned his head from the left to the right side and back in the hope that the sharp sting in his right shoulder distracting him from his work would fade at least a little bit, but it only seemed to get worse and this time, he couldn't suppress his groan as two or three vertebra snapped out of place, cracking rather loudly as they dislocated, increasing the pain he already felt.

Two clawed hands suddenly grabbing him made him flinch, but when they started to massage his aching muscles, Rodney relaxed and groaned again, sighing in pure bliss as the ancient creature he worked with kneaded his poor back, massaging the kinks out of the tensed flesh and gently putting his vertebra back where they belonged.

“I should have told Sheppard before you finished the bond that he'd better not strain you that much, McKay, because we really need to find the correct coordinates and the way to get through the temporary shield and I need you well, healthy and focused for that. You're somewhere else with your thoughts and it's difficult to work with you when you're behaving like that. I can imagine that you enjoyed the last three days, but maybe, you could be polite and try to concentrate on your work at least now and then,” the old Wraith Commander stated dryly as he worked himself through the various states of tension and knots in Rodney's abused back.

Rodney blushed furiously, heat welling up in his cheeks as he remembered the last three days. They had spent the entire three days in their quarters and John, his new soul-mate, had almost been insatiable. He had only allowed Rodney to use the bath and to eat something, but that had been all Rodney could do. The rest of the time had gone by with John claiming and marking him as his own again and again until Rodney hadn't known his own name any longer and he knew quite well that some of his kinks and various aches were caused by the incredible passionate encounters he had enjoyed for the first time in his life.

Rodney had never had a very fulfilled or regular sex life, and John's passion and possessiveness had really overwhelmed him. He still could feel John's hungry lips on every part of his body, still hear his hoarse growls and moans and still see his heated face before his mind's eyes, flushed with his strong desire and arousal, those wonderful hazel eyes dark with his lust roaming over his own sweaty body.

Rodney swallowed hard because the memory of their ardent nights and days had awakened one special part of his body that was as hard as the muscles in his back now, and the Wraith still massaging his shoulders let out an amused, throaty laughter.

“Ah, McKay, you really should keep your thoughts and your vivid memory at bay. You're lucky that there is none of my officers around, this could become truly embarrassing for you if you won't learn to control your emotions and most of all your – hm – obviously very interesting memories,” he remarked dryly.

Rodney was deep red now all over his face as he craned his neck to look over his shoulder and scowl at Todd, the ancient Commander who was trying to get him back into a state where he could go on with their research without the distraction of various aches and tensed up muscles. The tall and slim Wraith stood closely behind him and Rodney mused briefly about the weird situation he found himself in at the moment. If someone had asked him only a couple of days before if he would let get any Wraith – even their uncommon ally Todd – that close to him that he could massage his shoulders, he would have laughed disbelievingly in their faces.

But, here he stood, suppressing his groans as the pain slowly faded under the clawed and admittedly very skilled hands of the ten thousand years old creature.

“Don't do that, you will only dislocate your vertebra again!” Todd told him off and Rodney hesitantly obeyed, staring at the screen on the wall in front of him again. He could see the greenish glowing data flickering slowly over the large screen while the computer searched for the most likely sector of the galaxy where the hidden planet could be found, but he was too far away to be able to read it. He frowned when he realized the small detail that had caught his attention when he had looked at Todd's hands.

“Why do you wear gloves?!” he asked warily, trying to turn around again. “I thought you said that you would never feed on someone living in Atlantis! Do you have to wear them to show your honorable motives? You didn't wear them while we worked!” Suddenly, he felt pretty uncomfortable being alone with Todd in his lab on Todd's flagship. Todd sighed and pushed against his arms to keep him in place.

“I told you to not turn your head while I'm massaging you. Relax, McKay. I would never feed on Sheppard's soul-mate,” Todd told him firmly and Rodney took deep and even breaths in the attempt to calm himself down.

“My John is not your Sheppard, and I am not your Sheppard's soul-mate!” he stated the obvious and Todd let out his throaty laughter again. “But, you're very close to the real thing,” he answered unimpressed.

“I'll take that as a compliment, then,” Rodney snorted.

“It was meant as one. And no, I don't wear them because I could be tempted to feed on you. Apart from the fact that neither me nor anyone else of my Wraith would feed from you or another new Lanthean living in Atlantis, I'm pretty sure that you would be one of the few humans hardly to digest and overexerting my system and I'd rather not want to make this surely unpleasant experience. No, I wear these gloves because I don't want to have to fight with Sheppard.”

Rodney frowned, crying out as Todd pressed his thumb in one of the hard knots where his neck ended and his shoulder began. “Why would he do that?” he gasped out, squeezing his eyes shut to deal with the sharp sting shooting along his spine.

“Because he would smell me all over you if I massaged you without these rather thick gloves. Especially the right hand with the enzyme would make you smell of me even through your clothing,” the ancient Commander explained to him like a patient teacher would explain the multiplication tables to a very stupid and slow pupil.

“Uhm. I'm sure he wouldn't mind it if I told him the reason behind it,” Rodney stammered, taken aback by this explanation. “Apart from that, I don't think that he would smell it. The human sense of smell isn't as sensitive as the sense of smell of any Wraith.”

“You underestimate your soul-mate, McKay. Of course, he would smell it. And of course, he would mind it if you smelled of another person like that. Your John Sheppard is as possessive and narrow-minded as your counterpart's Sheppard is.”

“Hm. I embraced and kissed Jennifer and Kathy and he didn't mind, at all,” Rodney contradicted the ancient male creature.

“This would probably be because they are lovely ladies, indeed, but females and therefore no threat to take his soul-mate away from him,” Todd answered with his famous Wraith patience.

“But, in my own reality, I was together with both of them – Kathy and Jennifer and John knows that. Truth to be told, Jennifer and I broke up only one day before we came here. But, I was never together with you,” Rodney shivered by the thought of this disturbing image suddenly appearing in his mind, “and so he surely wouldn't get the wrong impression.”

Todd's hands on his shoulders stilled their movements as he considered that. “You were? With both of them? Really? You're far more interesting than I gave you credit before, McKay. Hm, you might have a point here, then. I highly recommend that you'll stay away from your friends as far as possible then, because judging by the way Sheppard looks at you, he won't be pleased by smelling your two former girlfriends on you, either even though they are only your girlfriends' counterparts. But, he also should have learned in the meantime that only another male could be considered as your soul-mate and so he won't accept you smelling of any other male because he knows that this would lead to the wrong impressions by others, our hopefully-soon-to-be-found-Ancient-negotiation-partners for example.”

“I see.” Rodney heaved a relieved sigh as Todd's skilled hands began to move over his back again. “So, if I did this for your soul-mate Kenny for example, without any precautions to not leave my scent upon him, I mean, you would mind it, although you knew that I would never even think of hitting on him, never mind trying to get closer to him in an intimate way?” he asked curiously, flinching as Todd's annoyed growl sounded loudly in his ear.

“You'll better not try me, human!” the ancient Commander snarled before he calmed down again. Just the image of having to smell the scent of any other male being on his soul-mate, as innocent as the reason for it might be, seemed to truly upset him and Rodney finally understood the seriousness of this topic.

Todd breathed in and out before he spoke up again. “Wraith are very territorial beings, McKay, much more than any human will ever be. It would cause serious damage to my reputation and standing not only among my own brethren and kin if I allowed any other male to come that close to my soul-mate and second-in-command that he would smell of them instead of me.”

“I see,” Rodney repeated subdued before he went silent, knowing that he'd better stay quiet until Todd had finished his massage. It wouldn't do him any good if he made the powerful creature angry while he worked out the kinks of his sore muscles.

“It is a good thing then, I guess, that Wraith normally don't need back rubs and massages during working,” he joked weakly in the attempt of easing the tension lying in the air and Todd laughed his throaty laughter and relaxed. “Yes, this is indeed a good thing, McKay. You surely won't be placed in the dilemma of having to massage my mate's shoulders just to make him focus on his task again. And I'm pretty certain that you don't want me to tell you about the times I give him a back rub when we're alone!” he teased the human mockingly and rather smugly and this time, Rodney couldn't suppress the heavy shiver running down his spine. “Uh, no thank you, this really isn't necessary. I respect your privacy,” he hurried to confirm the chuckling Wraith who seemed to enjoy himself by letting disturbing pictures appear before Rodney's mind's eye and who was able to find all the sore spots and knots in his shoulders and neck easily, just as if he could sense Rodney's pain, which he most likely actually could with his mental abilities.

For a while, all one could hear was his silent grunting when Todd pressed his thumb into a special sore spot and the soft rustling of his clothing, before Todd finally let go of him and gently turned him around to face him.

“I think that I'll have to tell you more about this soul-bond, McKay,” he said surprisingly gently, gesturing to the lonely chair at one of the desks he had placed there for the human. Wraith didn't need to sit while working, they could stay on their feet for much longer than humans, and Rodney, who had been standing on his feet and crouched over one of the Wraith computers for hours gratefully sat down, circling his shoulders again. He felt much better and shot a brief thankful smile at his uncommon therapist and co-worker.

He had worked with his 'own' Todd for years every now and then, but he had to admit that the Todd of this reality was different from the one he knew. He was willing to open up to him and give him the needed information without hiding the truly interesting and important things and his demeanor towards Elizabeth showed that he considered his human allies as equals in every sense of the word.

“I would be grateful for that, Todd,” he said, watching Todd leaning comfortably against the slightly pulsing wall glowing in an odd mixture of green and dark purple, attentively.

“I already told you that the bond between soul-mates is the most important thing in our universe. If you haven't found your soul-mate within an appropriate lapse of time – considering your whole possible lifespan and age of course – then no one will negotiate with you or consider you as worthy and important enough to really deal with you and put up with you. Quite the opposite, everybody crossing your path will think that there is something wrong with you and that you have a serious problem.”

Rodney frowned as he remembered the countless times John and he himself had been in acute danger and not sure if they would make it through it, at all. “What happens if one loses his or her soul-mate?” he asked hesitantly, pulling a face as even the brief thought of losing John made him feel sick all of a sudden. The nausea vanished as quickly as it had appeared, but only because he pushed those thoughts away with every ounce of strength he possessed.

Todd smiled melancholy. “This is an entirely different kind of matter. No one would expect you to 'replace' your soul-mate, because this simply isn't possible. You can't have more than one soul-mate because there is only one being in this universe that will match with you, McKay. If you lost your soul-mate and survived this, you won't have another one and everyone having to deal with you will respect that and treat you as if you still had a soul-mate. Going on with your life after losing the one who was meant to be with you is damn hard, but it is possible and sometimes, the surviving half of the bond will find someone to form a new relationship, but it won't be the same. But never finding your other half and even more – not even try to find him or her is considered as a 'no-go' in our reality. So you maybe can imagine the importance of what your John and you have now. It is so much more than a simple relationship between two people liking and desiring each other. You will see that your senses have increased because of your bond, as well and that they will increase further. You might not be Wraith, but I can assure you that you will smell it if anybody else will ever leave their scent upon your mate, and that you won't like it then and react badly just like Sheppard or me myself would do.”

Todd went silent, watching Rodney thoughtfully. Rodney had a hard time digesting everything the ancient Wraith had told him, but he had to admit that John's scent had become stronger to him after their bonding. First, he hadn't noticed it, but now, after the Commander had mentioned it, it made sense. Rodney swallowed and unconsciously balled his fists by the thought that John could smell of another person, no matter whether it would be a female or a male and a low snarl escaped his lips without him even noticing it. Only Todd's amused chuckle told him that he had reacted exactly the way the Wraith had expected him to react.

“Yes, exactly. And now imagine your Sheppard's reaction if I had massaged you without gloves, as innocent as it actually was,” he stated dryly and Rodney shivered by the mere thought of it. He had wondered about John's sudden possessiveness and dominance ever since John had behaved that strangely after they had stepped out of the pods, but he had to admit that he felt the same way towards the hazel-eyed colonel. When John was around, the colors surrounding him were shining more intensive and every flower smelled sweeter. When John was around, he could hear the silent sounds of a fly crawling over the window and everything around him seemed to have a deeper meaning. He hadn't really payed attention to these changes before, too overwhelmed by the passion and intimacy he had shared with John, but now, he realized that he wasn't the same person he had been before their bonding any longer.

Rodney felt less self-conscious when other people were around and he was determined to do everything to keep John healthy and by his side, no matter what it would be he had to do for it.  
Of course, he had always risked his life and stayed bravely by Sheppard's side, but this went deeper and was much more serious. Rodney would die for John without hesitating for even the blink of an eye and he was pretty sure that John felt the same way about him. He still didn't know whether John loved him or not, and - if he did, if it was only because of the bond or if he had had feelings for Rodney before they had stumbled into this reality. To know this one day still meant a big deal to him, but the emotions he received through their bond were strong and told him that John cared deeply for him and wouldn't let anybody do him any harm.

The steady flow of emotions became less intensive with the distance and Rodney couldn't feel John as strongly at the moment as he could sense him when they were together, but the connection was still there and Rodney knew that John was well and healthy by whatever he was doing at the moment, maybe having a briefing with Elizabeth or Teyla. Rodney would go back to Atlantis later to go on with their research, but Todd had collected a large amount of data and information from an ancient Wraith facility and they had to check it on his Hive first before they could decide which parts were the important parts to transfer them to the computers in Atlantis.

Elizabeth trusted Todd with her heart, but even Todd hadn't been able to assure her that the data from the facility wouldn't be dangerous for them and maybe cause damage to the Ancient's city because of some hidden bad computer virus. Therefore, they had decided to send Rodney to Todd's Hive to work with him and check the data together before deciding whether it was harmless and safe to transfer to Atlantis or not. Todd had promised as a reward to do the calculation they would need for their return into their own reality with him after searching for that special planet where the Ancients perhaps still lived.

John had wanted to go with Rodney, but Teyla had convinced him to stay in Atlantis because she needed to teach him more about the different reality and because their own John would have let his Rodney work with Todd alone, as well. Rodney had seen that John hadn't liked the thought of leaving him alone on a Hive for hours, but the colonel had said nothing, only muttered something sounding not very nice under his breath. Rodney hadn't wanted to leave John, either, but he knew that John didn't feel comfortable whenever he was on board a Hive without having something to do like fighting or something similar that would distract him from his discomfort and mistrust.

After all, they hadn't such a strong and trustworthy alliance with their own Todd and he having to worry about John the entire time while working hadn't been an option. Rodney wanted to find this planet as soon as possible because he didn't know how long his calculation for their return would take him.

Of course, he was also curious about this planet and the chance of finding living Ancients and talking to them, and his mind was already running over the possibility if this planet existed and could maybe be found in their own reality, too, ever since he had learned about it.

Rodney sighed as he looked up at Todd who was waiting patiently for him to ponder over everything the ancient Commander had told him.

“Okay, thank you, Todd. I think I do know better what this soul-bond means for John and me by now. There most likely will be a lot more things John and I will have to explore and talk about, but I hadn't realized the seriousness and uniqueness of this bond before, even not with it flowing through us and connecting us. For me, it seemed to be only a very deep relationship, but I know now that I was wrong about it. It's only that we don't have anything like this in our own universe and it was hard to believe for me somehow.”

Todd nodded his head. “I understand you, McKay. It will take a while, but you will learn all you need to know, I'm sure about that. And if you need some further information and don't want to ask Elizabeth or Teyla, you can ask me. Sheppard, of curse, as well.”

Rodney pursed his lips. “We will see, but thank you for your offer, Todd. And for the massage, it truly helped. I think I'm able to work again, let's go on with our research. I'm eager to find this planet.” He stood up, stalking to his console with revived spirits and newly found determination to find the Ancients still living in this strange universe.

“And so am I, McKay,” the ancient Commander agreed, turning to his own console again.

Rodney lost himself in his work like he had done countless times before when he focused on his task, the steady flow of his bond with John assuring him that his soul-mate was well and safe. He stared at the screen, reading the data slowly moving over it and it took him only two seconds until he realized that they most likely had found the sector where the planet could be located as he saw the blinking that announced that match with the data from the facility.

“Todd! I think we found it!” he exclaimed excitedly the same second as Todd spoke up in his multi-toned voice: “McKay, I think we just located the sector where the planet is hidden!”


	16. Finding Solutions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and Todd had a talk and Todd gave Rodney a back massage. Will they find a way to reach the coordinates where the planet most likely is hiding undisturbed and safe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is late and I only proof-read it briefly, I hope there won't be too many mistakes. Rodney and his team get ready for their mission and Rodney learns that their bond indeed has changed a lot. I hope you will enjoy reading the new chapter, please, let me know!

John, Teyla and Elizabeth were waiting for them when Rodney and Todd entered the civilian leader's office, all the three of them with expectant expression on their faces.

Rodney had felt the emotions floating through their bond becoming stronger with every meter he came nearer to his soul-mate, but he hadn't been prepared for the overwhelming wave of desire and possessiveness washing over him as John's eyes caught him for the first time after the long hours they had been separated. The hazel-green gaze almost piercing him and the air surrounding John thick with the colonel's pheromones as Rodney made his way through the door to Elizabeth's office.

John just stared at him without saying anything, but Rodney could literally 'hear' him screaming in his head: 'Mine, you're all mine, Mer, and only mine!'

Rodney blushed and swallowed against the sudden dryness in his throat, and Todd's silent and knowing chuckle behind his back didn't help matters of staying calm and focused on their task, either.

“See what I mean?” the ancient creature whispered into his ear, and Rodney made an annoyed snarling sound, grateful that Elizabeth and Teyla were too polite to show their own amusement, keeping their faces impassive and serious.

He dropped down on the chair beside John, shooting him a sidelong glance. He was still unsure about their interaction in front of others after those three days of passion and ardor in the seclusion of their quarters – their counterparts' quarters actually, although it really felt as if John and he himself belonged here somehow. The heated glance he got in response made him blush, and he wondered briefly about this strange soul-bond and how it could have changed their feelings and their friendship that much into something else. Okay, his feelings for the handsome colonel hadn't been entirely 'innocent' any more before their bonding for a rather long time, but John had never behaved as if he was interested in him as a man before they had stumbled into this different reality.

“Rodney? You told us that you had been able to locate the sector where this planet must hide?” Elizabeth's calm voice broke in on his musings and Rodney blinked and focused on the civilian leader of the Ancient's city sitting behind her desk and watching him attentively with slight impatience on her face.

Rodney cleared his throat, wishing John wouldn't just sit there and stare at him with those hungry hazel-green eyes but say something – anything that would distract him from the vivid memories of those three days of lovemaking.

“Hm, yes, Todd and I are positive that we found the sector where this special planet must be. There is only one 'minor' problem we have to solve before we can get there...” he shot Todd sitting comfortably with slightly spread legs on the chair at John's other side an appraising look.

“And which problem would that be?” John asked, opening his mouth for the first time since Rodney had entered the office, finally averting his eyes from his soul-mate to look at the ancient Wraith Commander. He had narrowed his eyes as if he was angry with the tall male creature and Rodney was pretty sure all of a sudden that his soul-mate knew about Todd having given him a massage, although Rodney didn't know from where the colonel should know that.

Todd returned the intense stare unimpressed. “The problem that this sector lies in the territory of another Wraith alliance. One of the few strong ones that are not friendly towards our alliance. Their Queen still bears a grudge against me that I chose Atlantis and you over her, Elizabeth,” he answered, smiling at the woman he considered as an equal and the 'Queen' of the ancient city.

Elizabeth smiled back. “Yes, I remember you mentioning your 'negotiation' with this Queen, Todd. She expected you to give up control over your Hives and become her devoted second commander unquestioningly, although she planed to attack Atlantis. ”

Rodney raised his eyebrow at that, because 'his' own Todd was known for keeping important things to himself and he was amazed again how open and talkative this Todd actually was. He seemed to be truly interested and making this alliance work and obviously considered the New Lantheans as his true equals instead of trying to manipulate them for his own good. Maybe, it had something to do with this soul-bond and the fact that the John Sheppard of this reality had given 'his' Todd not only his life back, but also his soul-mate. The soul-bond was apparently the most important thing in this strange universe and the Todd of this alliance surely wouldn't betray the ones who had reunited him with his own beloved soul-mate. Being separated from Kenny must have been worse for him than the burning hunger and the starvation, Rodney mused, and Todd's next words confirmed his suspicion.

“Yes, she couldn't understand that I would never even think of attacking Atlantis after John had given back the opportunity to see my soul-mate and reunite with him again to me, although he is 'only' human. There are still Wraith thinking that humans can't form such a strong soul-bond like us Wraith can because of our telepathic abilities and that humans can't be trusted in general. She also doesn't think very highly of males in general and made the mistake of suggesting that my second-in-command could be content with being degraded to one of the sub-commanders of one of her Hives instead of serving as my second. She's just waiting for the opportunity to lay her hands on me again and capture me. We can't risk flying openly through her territory to get there, because this would be a declaration of war. I know that Jumpers can be cloaked, but, the range of any Jumper we know isn't wide enough to fly to that sector without using Stargates within her territory and we have to find a solution for that. A Hive could fly there within a couple of days, but, it can't be cloaked. And apart from that, we won't make it through the barrier with a Hive,” the ancient Wraith Commander explained what he had already discussed with Rodney earlier on board his Hive.

“We don't need to get through the barrier with the Hive. The Hive could transport the Jumper to those coordinates,” Rodney interrupted. He had a sudden idea and he was eager to discuss it.

“That's right, McKay. But, the cloaking device of the Jumper can't hide such a large space-ship like a Hive,” John said, watching his soul-mate attentively. Of course, he had sensed Rodney's excitement through their bond and was curious to learn about what the genius had in mind.

“Maybe, we can. Radek and I worked on increasing the efficiency of the naquadah generators before we had to leave for the planet where the soul-bond would be initiated. It is worth a try. We surely can't cloak a large Hive with them, but maybe one of Todd's cruisers! Your cruisers could travel to that sector as fast a Hive, couldn't it?” Rodney inquired and the Commander slowly nodded his head, obviously intrigued by the scientist's idea.

“Yes, one of my cruisers could go there in the same time as my Hive,” he said, looking at Rodney who had a hard time to stay still on his chair. The steady flow through the bond assured him that John would support him without question and Elizabeth and Teyla looked as hopeful as his soul-mate as they saw that Todd as another scientist seemed to be very intrigued by Rodney's idea.

“I'm positive that we can bloat the field that cloaks the Jumper to the size we need to cloak one of the cruisers. Radek and I worked hard on that generators and I'm certain that we can make it work.”

Rodney raised his hand when he noticed that Todd wanted to bring up the topic that would be their next problem.

“I know, we can't cloak the cruiser for such a long time as we actually needed to cloak it. But, we can hide the cruiser among the asteroids of the asteroid belt we found in the neighbor system. In our reality, I worked on changing our ship signs in a way that they could be taken as the signs of asteroids for example, and my simulations were successful before John and I stranded here. We only need to cloak the cruiser during our drive to the system and in case that the Wraith of this hostile alliance decide to explore the asteroid belt more closely. We can take two Jumpers and one has to stay on board the cruiser while we'll take the other one to visit the Ancients hopefully still living on that planet. The cruiser is small enough to be taken as another asteroid from the distance if we hide our life signs, and we only need to cloak it in case another ship shows up within sight distance. We have to leave hyper space for two or three times, and with two Jumpers, we surely can cloak the cruiser long enough until we can drop into hyper space again. The only other problem we'll have is how to hide our signs while we'll travel through the hyper space.”

Todd who had listened to him with a pleased expression on his alien features, bared his sharp translucent teeth. “That won't be a huge problem. I have been working on this problem ever since that negotiations, because the Queen's and my own feeding grounds adjoin each other. I cannot cloak our signs, but I found a way to diffract them to hide our true path through hyper space for a rather long time. I also can cover them with the signals of the Hives and cruisers of their own alliance, so they will think that it is one of their own cruisers flying along the barrier between our feeding grounds in case they'll pay attention to what's going on there. They have been weakened by Michael's disease and hopefully will be too busied with their own huge problems because of their feeding problems to have a close up view, especially when it is only a cruiser and not a large Hive.”

Rodney had flinched by the two words 'feeding ground' and Todd had shot him a knowing look, but, he had to admit that this could truly work. John beside him looked musing, but also eager to start with the preparations. Rodney could understand him, not only because he felt the colonel's frustration about his own forced impassiveness through their soul-bond, but also because they were running out of time and still had to do the calculations to get back to their own reality.

“What about that time shield?” Elizabeth who had listened quietly asked. Rodney nodded his head, because he hadn't forgotten that point.

“Todd and I checked the data from that facility and I think we found the right shield modulation of our own power shield that will lead our Jumper through this time shield. It is similar to the shield of that planet where John was trapped for six months.” He paused, looking at the two women. “Your John made the same experience, right?”

Teyla nodded her head. “Yes, Rodney. Our John was trapped there, too. For us, it wasn't that long, of course, but he almost went crazy.”

“Yes, I can imagine,” 'his' John drawled, shooting Rodney a heated glance. “So, you think that we will be able to get through without problems?” he then asked the genius disbelievingly.

“Yes, I do, John. We will fly there with a Jumper. A Jumper is a ship of the Ancients. The time shield will accept it as related and if we show up in time and with the right modulation, there should be no reason why we shouldn't reach the planet. The main problem is to reach the right coordinates and not to get through the shield. But, I will consider this minor problem while working on the really big one. After all, I'm not called 'genius' for no reason.”

His soul-mate snorted at that, but didn't say anything. Elizabeth hid her amused smile and Todd let out a throaty chuckle. Rodney shot him a hurt look. “I found the coordinates before you!” he defended himself and Todd nodded in his direction, lifting his hand in a calming gesture. “Yes, you did, McKay. I suggest we start right away, then? I will go back to my Hive and transfer the data we know for sure that it will be safe to McKay's lab and then work on diffract the signal of one of our cruisers while our 'genius' here works on his admittedly intriguing idea.”

No one sitting in Elizabeth's office had anything to say against the commander's suggestion and Rodney finally left John with Teyla and Elizabeth to head to his lab and work with Radek on his idea, consoled by the warmth floating through the soul-bond that John wouldn't be that far away this time.

 

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When he came back to their quarters later in the evening, his back had started to hurt again, and he was tired and hungry, hoping that John had perhaps cooked for him once more. He wasn't in the mood for the cafeteria and earlier, he had been so absorbed in his work that he had simply forgotten to eat anything.

The minute the door had closed behind him, he was pressed against it and John's hungry mouth was upon his own, his tongue taking advantage of Rodney's surprised “Oh!” and snaking its way through his halfway opened lips and into the tempting territory behind them. Rodney tried to push against his upset soul-mate, but John growled dangerously and Rodney gave up his attempts and started to return the kiss instead. John seemed to be everywhere in his mouth, marking it as his rightful property again and the overwhelmed scientist flinched as he heard his own needy moan echoing in the air.

Just when he thought that he would black out from the lack of air, John finally pulled back from his now bruised mouth. Rodney opened his mouth to speak again, but John growled again.

“What was that with Todd, Mer?” he snarled and Rodney blinked, totally taken aback.

“With Todd?” he asked rather stupidly, not sure what had put his soul-mate in this possessive state again.

“Yeah, Todd! You smelled of him!” John accused him and Rodney gulped for air.

“Nothing, John. We worked together and he massaged my aching shoulders because I couldn't concentrate on my work properly because of my back ache. But, he wore thick gloves when he did so. He said that you wouldn't like it at all if I smelled of him.”

“He's right. I don't like it!” John growled, but he relaxed, watching his soul-mate closely. “Gloves? I still could smell him on you.”

Rodney shrugged his shoulders, peering over the colonel's shoulders to see whether John had seen to their dinner or not. He desired John that it was driving him crazy, but, he was really hungry and he knew that he wouldn't get out of their bed after John had put him there.

“Maybe because of the enzyme, I don't know. He told me that our senses increased because of the bond and that you would get upset smelling another male on me. Therefore, he wore thick gloves. He only massaged my back, John! He is Wraith! What do you think of me? He also suggested that you also wouldn't strain me that much while I'm working on solving the problems our mission causes,” he said, looking reproachfully at John when he had seen that the dinner table was empty.

“I worked all day and I'm hungry, John. Can you please feed me before you make sure that I will smell of you and only you again?”

John narrowed his eyes, but then, his features softened. “Of course, Mer. I know that you were working all day. I'm sorry, it's only – this soul-bond-thing with all of those changes is new to me and when I smelled him – on you...”

Rodney took his face in his hands, stroking John's stubbly cheek with his thumb. “It's new for both of us, John. But, together, we will be fine, won't we?” he asked gently and John kissed his thumb, smiling at him.

“Yes, we will. And of course, I saw to feeding you, Mer, how can you doubt that? I didn't know when you would arrive and I left it in the oven to keep it warm. Teyla and Elizabeth busied me with reading about their history which is different in a lot of things to ours and after four hours, I excused myself that I needed to see to your well-being when I could stand it anymore.”

John grinned his crooked smile Rodney loved so much the scientist felt like melting when he saw the sparkles in John's beautiful eyes. He bent forward for another kiss, a tender and soft one this time. The emotions floating through their bond warmed him and he finally relaxed for the first time within hours.

“I can see why you needed to excuse yourself, colonel,” he chuckled. “Although it will be important to know as much about the history of this reality as possible. So will you feed me now and then make sure that I will smell of you and only you again, John?”

John's eyes became dark with his desire for his soul-mate, as he stroked over Rodney's swollen bottom lip. “Sounds like a good plan to me, Mer. You will need all of your strength for that!” he promised hoarsely and Rodney suppressed an aroused shiver as he followed John to the dinner table.

John would surely fulfill his promise as thoroughly as he fulfilled all of his tasks and Rodney hardly could wait for it to happen.


	17. The Trouble With Old Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney buries himself in his work and in his lab, avoiding the counterparts of his two exex Katie and Jennifer. They decide to take matters in their own hands and force him to join them for lunch...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed something lighthearted and this chapter is what came out. I hope you will enjoy reading it, please share your opinion with me, because writing a WIP, especially a long one is really difficult and hard without getting feedback.

Rodney was in the middle of a heated, but very fruitful discussion with Radek when his peaceful working routine was suddenly interrupted in a rather rude way by Jennifer Keller and Katie Brown storming into his laboratory.

Rodney loved those discussions with the counterpart of his own Radek, and he knew that he would miss them badly after his return to his own reality. They were heated and vivid, but in a good way, and Rodney had needed some time to wrap his head around it, but after working together with the clever Czech scientist from another reality for weeks now, he enjoyed their fights staged on the battlefield of science more than he had ever enjoyed any other working relationship with anyone else he had ever worked together with.

His 'own' Radek had been against everything he had brought up during their work almost immediately and Rodney had always had the suspicion that he was only against it because the suggestions had come from him and that his Radek objected to them only to object and not because he really thought that Rodney was wrong. This had annoyed and frustrated him to no end every time they had fought and in the end, he had withdrawn in his own lab and tried to work alone even though he had wished countless times to have someone helping him and working with him instead of working against him.

The Radek living here was the complete opposite to his own Zelenka. It wasn't as if he agreed to everything Rodney said, oh no. But, his counterpart Rodney and this Radek were true friends and the discussions he had with the Czech mirrored that. The small scientist of this universe who drank every person except for Ronon under the table and cursed in his own mother tongue in a way that everyone listening to him knew instantly that his words were curses without having to know any Czech word themselves was always eager and happy to argue about their work if he thought that Rodney was on the wrong track. But, he also praised him and picked up Rodney's thoughts and suggestions with great enthusiasm whenever he thought that Rodney was right, and this made it easy for Rodney to question his own work in a constructive way and re-think some things without feeling offended and not accepted. Zelenka on the other hand never minded Rodney telling him when he thought that the smaller scientist was wrong, and Rodney found himself unable to do that in the same hurtful way he had told 'his' Radek that he took him for a complete idiot so many times.

Therefore, the interruption of their vivid discussion about a problem they worked on was less than welcomed.

“Rodney! You are working here in your lab like an obsessed one for one week now and we didn't see you in the cafeteria to grab something to eat for at least once or twice ever since you started with your work one week ago! It almost seems as if you wouldn't live in Atlantis any longer! John cooks for you in the evenings and you are either in your lab or in your quarters with him, locking everyone else out except for Radek and John. And Todd,” Katie added to her complaint and she sounded truly upset about the fact that Rodney obviously choose the Wraith Commander's company over the company of two of his closest friends.

“You will come with us now and have a proper meal in the cafeteria where we can have an eye on you and make sure that you will indeed eat and not only work while the small sandwich John has brought you will go off without you having most likely even glanced at it!” Katie put her hands on her hips, glaring at him, and it was clear to see that both women were determined to hold their ground and not back off until they had Rodney sitting in the cafeteria between them and having a tray filled with food placed on the table before him.

“But, we are pressed for time and I really need to stay here and think about this problem...” Rodney's rather weak attempt to object was ridiculed by the loud growling of his stomach showing its interest in the prospect of being fed properly not only in the evening before Rodney performing all of those gymnastic exercises in bed with his insatiable soul-mate John quashed the possibility to gain some strength and nourishment out of the food, again, but also finally in between working very clearly.

Katie “hahed!” triumphantly while Jennifer grinned very smugly, taking Rodney's arm to pull him in the direction of the lab's exit. “You will come with us now, Rodney. I am not only one of your best friends, something you obviously forgot during the last week, but also your doctor and therefore outranking you when it comes to deciding what's important to keep you healthy and capable of working on the problems you're working on. I am pretty sure that Radek won't mind you leaving him alone for one hour, because I remember him showing up in the cafeteria on a regular basis during the last couple of days. He is much more reasonable when it comes to such things.”

The blonde turned around to Zelenka who watched the whole spectacle with his arms crossed before his chest and a smirk on his face, finding the whole thing apparently amusing and entertaining. Rodney looked pleadingly at him for help, but the smaller scientist only shook his head. “Jennifer and Katie are right, Rodney. You really need to eat. Even I can see that you have lost weight and our discussion proved to me that your genius is working much slower than usual. One hour of rest and re-filling your stores won't stall our work. Quite the opposite, it will help us solving the problem with adapting the naquadah-generators to the cloaking device of the Jumpers much quicker. So just go with them and let Miss Brown and Dr. Keller take good care of you!”

Another loud growl of Rodney's neglected stomach made him close his mouth he had opened to utter another protest without speaking again and a sudden dizziness overcoming him as he was forced to walk quickly towards the exit because Jennifer was still pulling at him made him sway from the right side to the left as he put one foot before the other. “I knew it!” Katie taking his other arm to steady him remarked contentedly, and Rodney shot her a partly embarrassed and partly annoyed look, because he wasn't sure whether the botanist was contented because she had been right or because he was too weak and dizzy to fight against them.

It wasn't as if Rodney really minded to eat something, because he didn't. He had avoided the cafeteria because he hadn't wanted to run into the two women dragging him along the corridor to the next transporter now. After his very interesting and informative talk with the ancient Wraith Commander, Rodney had thought about what Todd had said to him, especially the part with the increased sense of smell and that his soul-mate John Sheppard wouldn't like it if his genius smelled of any other being than him.

Of course, no woman could be Rodney's soul-mate here in this reality, but in his own reality, Rodney had been together with both women and with Jennifer until the evening before they had stumbled into another universe by accident. Neither Jennifer nor Katie knew that, hell they didn't even know that he wasn't their Rodney, at all, but John knew it and Rodney feared that he smelling of Katie or Jennifer or maybe even both of them would make John do something rather stupid and reveal their secret to all of the other inhabitants of the Ancients' city.

Which would most likely happen pretty soon, because Jennifer and Katie didn't let go of him, leaving him no other choice than to come with them, sit down and have a proper meal how they had put it.

“I can walk on my own,” he tried, but Katie and Jennifer only snorted in unison. “Of course, turning around on your heels and running back to your office right away - if we were really that dense to believe you and let go of you, that is. Try another tactic, Rod and maybe, we'll believe you.” was Katie's only comment and the smile she gifted him with was far too sugary to be honest, meant only to deceive the other inhabitants passing them and to cover her annoyance.

Rodney blinked and came to an abrupt halt as he realized what he had done without meaning anything bad. He hadn't thought of it because he had never been best friends with 'his' Katie or Jennifer and so he had found it naturally to stay away from them because of his own fears and doubts and his work. But, his counterpart hadn't been the grumpy loner he had been before stumbling into this strange place and from what he remembered from their few previous conversations, the Rodney and John living here had spent a lot of time with the two women, cooking for them, accepting their invitations in exchange and talking to them about everything and nothing very often.

Of course, they had noticed him avoiding them, feeling hurt and sorry about his weird behavior and probably breaking their heads over the question what they had done wrong to piss him off.

Jennifer and Katie had stopped beside him, glancing at him warily and mistrustfully. Rodney sighed, gifting both women with an honest and apologetically smile. “I'm sorry, Katie, Jenny. My problems with the soul-bond with John must have confused and upset me more than I thought and the importance of finding the solution to reach this planet within the next few weeks wasn't helpful to calm me down, either. I promise you that I will come with you and let you feed me, but please, let go of me. I'm a grown up man, even though I might not behave like one now and then, and I would feel more comfortable not being dragged through the city,” he said and after one more moment of hesitation his friends nodded and relaxed, letting go of his arms.

“Okay, we believe you, Rodney,” Jennifer drawled. “But, you have to make up for it with coming over for dinner tonight with John. We are worried about you and the cafeteria isn't the right place for such talks. We saw John more oftentimes than we saw you, but, he behaved very strangely, as well, and I do believe that we deserve an explanation.”

Rodney bit his lip, knowing that Jennifer and Katie were right. He would have to talk to Elizabeth before the dinner, asking her for permission to explain the situation to the other Rodney's best friends, but Jennifer was the chief medical officer in the city and needed to know what's going on as much as she had the right to know that her best friends had disappeared into another reality. And Rodney trusted the Katie living here enough to believe that she would keep their secret.

“Alright. John and I will come to have dinner with you tonight. But now, let's go to the cafeteria and silence this growling monster inside me,” he said, feeling happy when Katie and Jennifer beamed at him. “We have a deal!” Katie shouted and then, the three of them made their way to the next transporter, talking and joking and Rodney felt much better than he had felt during the last straining days, just as if the heavy weight pressing down on him had been taken away from his shoulders.

 

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Rodney was in a good mood when the door to Elizabeth's office whooshed open and he stepped over the threshold. His stomach was filled with all the things he liked because Katie and Jennifer had made a fuss about him and seen to fill his tray with all of his favorites. Rodney had been surprised that the cafeteria had had all of them, and he had the strong suspicion that the two women had planed that beforehand and made sure that he would get the food he preferred. After their truly pleasant and nice lunch, they had let him go only reluctantly after he had given them the promise again that he would show up with John at eight o'clock in the evening.

Rodney had to admit that he was touched that Katie and Jennifer cared about him that deeply – actually about his counterpart, but still – and he could only hope that it would stay that way at least a little bit when they eventually knew the truth.

He had radioed Zelenka and told him that he would come back after his talk to Elizabeth and the Czech scientist had assured him that everything was fine and that he was positive about the solution of their problem with the cloaking device of the Jumper. Rodney was very eager to go back to working now, but he wouldn't break his promise and so he found himself standing in the office of the female civilian leader of Atlantis he still missed in his own reality so badly. Richard Woolsey did a good job and he had his own skills and abilities, but Elizabeth was simply Elizabeth and not replaceable, at least not in his heart.

He had radioed John who had controlled the mainland with a Jumper in the morning to meet him there, and he wasn't surprised to find Teyla in Elizabeth's office, as well.

The first thing John did when Rodney sat down in the chair beside him after saying “hi!” to everyone was inhaling deeply and narrowing his eyes at him questioningly and slightly annoyed.

Rodney let out a heartfelt sigh, rolling his own eyes. “It is not as you think it is, John,” he defended himself and the stern look John gifted him with might not be readable for others, but the turmoil in the steady flow of emotions between them told Rodney that his possessive soul-mate was truly pissed of by smelling two female perfumes he knew quite well all over him. And this although they had only grabbed his arms with their hands. “What do you think that I think it is, Mer?” John growled and Rodney sighed again.

This had to end and it had to end now, because Rodney would go crazy otherwise, and he really had better things to do than being the bone John fought about with every other person daring to come closer to him and maybe even touch him.

“You think the wrong thing, that much I can tell you. Katie and Jennifer showed up in my lab to make sure that I would get something to eat I could use my brain with instead of – hm – my muscles and other parts of my body when you claim your rights right after dinner, and they complained about having been neglected for a rather long time. They took my arms and pulled me along the corridor, that's all!”

Teyla, who had listened to their debate, quietly and with her head tilted curiously to the side, frowned. “Where would be the problem in Katie or Jennifer or both touching you, Rodney? They did this with our Rodney the entire time,” she asked, politely ignoring Rodney's rather blunt statement about the things he did with John when they were alone and in their bed.

Rodney blushed furiously and John sitting beside him with his arms crossed before his chest and his lips pressed to a thin line, scowling at him didn't help him to keep his calm, either.

“Uhm, yes, probably. But, your Rodney certainly wasn't their ex.” he mumbled, staring at one spot on the wall behind Elizabeth's head to avoid Teyla's and her eyes.

There was a rather long silence before Elizabeth cleared her throat. “Their ex like in ex-husband, Rodney?” her voice sounded partly astonished and partly amused, and Rodney felt another wave of heat welling up in his face.

“Ex like in ex-fiancé,” he croaked out and this pulled a silent noise from Teyla that sounded like “ppffffftttheww!” and just as if the Athosian couldn't believe her ears.

“Ex-fiancé of both of them? Really? Rodney!” Elizbeth covered her mouth in the attempt to hide her laughter but failed and Teyla joined her, both women shaking disbelievingly their heads.

“This is not funny!! How would you feel if – if your Rodney and John for example had been Teyla's ex-fiancés and would come near her? Or Major Lorne and Ronon?” Rodney groused and John's low growl was a clear proof that he thought much the same. Rodney wouldn't have needed that proof, the anger and confusion washing over him like a tsunami didn't leave any doubts about John's feelings when it came to other people touching his Mer, even more when they were the counterparts of Rodney's ex-fiancées in their own reality.

Elizabeth wiped the tears of laughter from her eyes, but when she noticed the expression on the faces of both men, Rodney looking miserably and John looking like wanting to murder someone, she became serious again and cleared her throat.

“Okay, Rodney, I got it, sorry. You fit in here in this reality so perfectly that I forget sometimes that you are not our Rodney and John and that the soul-bond is entirely new for you and of course, everything that comes with it like the increased senses and the possessiveness towards your soul-mate,” she said and Rodney allowed himself to relax when he felt John relaxing through their bond.

Elizabeth looked from him to John and back to him again and a small smile ghosted around her mouth as she spoke up again. “If I had to guess, Rodney, then I would say that you came here because you want to tell Katie Brown and Jennifer the truth about John and you, didn't you?”

Rodney nodded with utter relief because Elizabeth didn't seem to oppose, if her expression and her smile were anything to go by. “Yes, Elizabeth, I want to tell them the truth. I avoided them since John and I became soul-mates,” he said, shooting the hazel-eyed colonel a reproachful look. “They of course can't know or understand the reason for it and they are hurt and confused. Besides, others will notice our 'breakup' with them sooner rather than later, as well and they will start to ask questions. If I told them the truth, they would know what it does to John when they touch me and wouldn't be hurt because of me behaving differently as your Rodney does – did – whatever...”

Rodney's voice trailed off and he bit his lip, unsure how to continue. To his surprise, John had calmed down during his explanation and the soft flow of almost apologetically tenderness floating through their bond reassured him as much as the tender and intimate glance he could see when he turned his head in John's direction. He reached out for John's hand in an instinctive gesture and John took it and held it, his thumb stroking softly over the back of his hand.

He cleared his throat and continued to speak. “Jennifer's and Katie's behavior today opened my eyes and if you don't want every inhabitant of the city suspecting that something's wrong, then we'll have to tell them the truth. Apart from that, Jennifer should know because she is the first medical officer and really should be informed. And I trust Katie enough to not tell everybody else that John and I are from another reality.”

“I agree with Mer. We should inform them. I know that soul-mates have always the same gender and that your Katie and Jennifer would never try to hit on my genius, but I would feel better if they knew the truth about the nature of Mer's relationship with their counterparts in our own Atlantis.”

Warmth pooled in Rodney's stomach as he heard John calling him 'his genius' and he didn't care about the fact that he was most likely grinning stupidly like an idiot from ear to ear as he beamed at 'his colonel'. “They invited us for dinner tonight John and I promised them that we could come and make up for our disappearance. If Elizabeth agrees to us telling them who we are, then we could do it tonight. It would spare us a lot of lies and problems,” he suggested, his eyes glued to the handsome face of the man who had been the center of his world before they had become soul-mates and who was now so much more to him even though he had never thought it possible before.

John's look was like a caress before he forced his eyes away from him to gaze at the female leader of Atlantis, expectantly.

“What do you think, Elizabeth? Are we allowed to tell them?” he inquired and his voice didn't sound as if the military commander of the city would take a no for an answer. John might be only the counterpart of the real military commander and hold this command only temporary, but as long as he was stuck here and John's counterpart in their own universe, his John would fulfill his job just like the other John would do with all of the consequences that might follow after, Rodney had no doubt about it. And not causing problems by letting all of the other citizens know about their accidentally change of roles was one of the things John had to and also would take care of.

Elizabeth exchanged a quick glance with Teyla and Rodney could almost sense them communicating through their bond. Finally the woman with the brown curls nodded her head. “Alright, Rodney, tell Katie and Jennifer the truth. I have to admit that I talked with Teyla about it a couple of days ago, but decided to wait and see what you would do about it.”

Rodney jumped to his feet, pulling John with his because the colonel was still holding his hand in a tight grip. “Great! I will go back in my lab then, because I have some work to do before the dinner. Thank you, Elizabeth, I'm glad that you think the same. John? Would you come with me for a while? There are some calculations Radek and I could need a third opinion to and you are almost a genius yourself when it comes to maths.”

John frowned, pulling his hand away and crossing his arms before his chest in a playfully offended manner. “Only almost? I could have joined Mensa if I had wanted to join them!” he complained and Rodney rolled his eyes at that. “Can we please discuss this later? We are pressed by time and I have the suspicion that you will make sure that I won't be able to sneak out of our quarters in the night and work in my lab for some quiet and undisturbed hours.”

John pursed his lips. “You're right, Mer. You will be too tired to sneak out of our bed and work tonight, be sure about that.”

“Uhm John, please, we don't need to know that!” Teyla objected with a shake of her head, but her grin gave her away. It was clear to see that the Athosian was relieved about the turnout of their conversation.

Rodney pulled at John, eager to go back to work, now that he didn't have to worry about Katie and Jennifer any longer. He was about to leave Elizabeth's office when her voice stopped him in the doorway.

“By the way, Rodney, Ronon was Teyla's lover for a couple of month before she became my soul-mate and John Sheppard was mine.”


	18. An Embarrassing Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John promised Katie and Jennifer to have dinner with them. Now, Rodney has to explain why he avoided his two friends. How will the two women react to his confession?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long. A lot of things happened since last August and I needed to find my way back to sci fi and my beloved Pegasus Galaxy. I hope that you're still sticking with me, please, enjoy the new chapter!

Rodney risked a glance in the mirror, eyeing his appearance critically, his brows furrowed and his face a picture of worried discomfort. His annoying soul-mate leaned casually against the wall beside the mirror, his arms folded before his chest and his face strict and determined.

“Do you really think that this will be necessary?” Rodney tugged at the silky garment of the deep-red dress shirt John had hung on the hook next to the large wardrobe when he had come back to their quarters after work.

John shifted his weight a little bit to check Rodney's other side. “Yep.”

“It is only a dinner with two friends, it's not a date...” Rodney tried, focusing on sending a good amount of his discomfort through their bond, which made John quirk an eyebrow at him, but didn't lead to the result Rodney had hoped for. If anything, John looked even more determined to make him wear one of the ridiculous dress shirts his counterpart obviously preferred.

“No, Mer, it is not only a dinner with friends. It is a dinner with the two best friends of the Rodney and John normally living in this reality and which we apparently hurt seriously with our behavior. Katie and Jennifer deserve better than being tossed aside without explanation for weeks and then us showing up in our uniforms after them probably spending hours with preparing dinner for us. So stop complaining, this shirt looks great on you,” John stated, his hazel-green eyes roaming approvingly over Rodney's figure.

Rodney sighed, considering himself in the mirror again with his head tilted to the side. Working so hard and avoiding the cafeteria during the last weeks had had some effect, he must admit, he had lost weight, and the shirt might not be as bad and ridiculous as he first had thought. Judging by the emotions John sent to him through their bond, he would lose his clothes the minute they would be back in their quarters again, his mate making sure that the calories he had eaten wouldn't settle down on his hips. Rodney scowled at his horny soul-mate, his eyes fixing on the stubbly face of the colonel instead of his reflection.

“Stop that, John! You don't want me to show up there with a hard-on just because you can't control your libido, do you? This would make our needed conversation even more embarrassing as it is already going to be!”

John's eyes lit up by Rodney's rant, and he grinned his crooked smile at him, shrugging his shoulders, knowing quite well that it would only increase Rodney's issues with suddenly very tight pants. The rather tight black pants he had ordered him to wear together with the red shirt felt much tighter than they had felt only one minute ago, before John had stared at him like a hungry wolf ready to jump its prey. The colonel looked so beautiful in his own clothing, the sleeves of his shimmering dark-blue shirt rolled up and his own black trousers accentuating his slim legs in such a breath-taking way that Rodney's mouth watered, and he sighed, defeated, knowing that his soul-mate had won this battle, because he already wished that the dinner was done and they'd be back in their quarters for some bed sports.

Rodney sighed again, knowing that he would do what John wanted him to do and wear everything the colonel chose for him if this meant that John looked at him this way, his desire for him clear to see in his eyes and sensible through their soul-bond.

“We will be late if you'll keep looking at me like that,” he only remarked, closing the last two buttons with trembling fingers just to watch John opening them again with this boyish smile still tugging at his sensitive lips.

“I like it better this way, Mer.”

 

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When Katie let them in, Rodney silently thanked his soul-mate for his persistence, sending him a wordless apology through their link, because the counterpart of his first fiancée was dressed up to the nines, wearing a shimmering green dress and carefully applied makeup.

John's expression didn't change as he gently embraced the young woman, thoughtful to not crumple her dress or damage her makeup, but the response Rodney got was a wave of smugness that made it hard for him to keep the warm smile on his face instead of scowling at his irritating mate.

“Hello Katie,” John smiled at her, offering the bouquet John had managed to get from the mainland to her. The botanist beamed at the colonel. “Ah, John, you always know which flowers we like best!” she praised him and for one tiny second, Rodney felt jealous, not sure whether he was actually jealous of Katie or of John. He frowned, but John stroked his arm in a soothing gesture when he sensed Rodney's confusion before stepping to the side to let his mate greet their friend.

“As if we could forget your love for these flowers, Katie,” he said, not lying, because the Katie of their own reality liked the flowers he had brought best, as well, and Rodney had told John about them on more than only one or two occasions.

Rodney pulled the pretty woman with the rich brown hair in his arms, inhaling her familiar scent, and the wave of homesickness suddenly crushing him caused him to tighten his embrace until Katie let out a pained sound and tried to pull away again. “Ouch, Rodney, be careful with my dress, please! I'm not angry with you any longer, don't worry. You're here now and we will have a great evening, I know that!” she said, placing a chaste kiss on his freshly shaved cheek.

Rodney found himself unable to answer to that without risking that his voice cracked with his emotions, and so he just nodded and kissed her back on her smooth and fragrant cheek. Jennifer used this awkward moment to enter the scene, emerging from the kitchen with two bowls in her hands. John hurried to take the bowls and put them onto the table before greeting the blonde doctor the same way he had greeted her soul-mate. “You look great tonight, Jen, both of you!” the hazel-eyed colonel complimented her, and Jennifer shook her head with a pleased laugh. “Flatterer. But thank you, it has been far too long since we've had a reason to dress up, haven't we, Katie?” she asked, wrapping her complaint about their long absence in Katie's and her daily life in a nice question. The brunette nodded her head while she ushered John to sit down and Rodney to make up for his strange and hurtful behavior with a proper embrace for her blonde mate.

Rodney obeyed, hoping that he wouldn't feel as homesick as he had felt when he had hugged the botanist, because the breakup with 'his' Jennifer was still way too fresh to stay cool and unaffected by her smell and the warmth radiating from her. He loved John and it wasn't sexual desire what he felt, just a vague wistfulness and a sudden rush of memories that made him feel bad about the way he had treated his second fiancée, the wish that he could turn back the clock and tell her the truth about his feelings before he had hurt her that much.

John seemed to sense what was going on in his mind clear enough to stay calm, the emotions he shared with his soul-mate a soothing wave of understanding instead of the heated annoyance and jealousy he had felt earlier the day when Rodney had been covered in the scent of both women. After all, they were here to tell them the truth and acting pissed off because of a harmless embrace wouldn't help matters, John seemed to have realized that after their talk in Elizabeth's office, and Rodney was truly grateful for that.

“Hello, Jen,” he mumbled against her cheek before pulling away when the memories became too much and too painful. Jennifer smiled her warm smile at him, taking his arm. “You can help me with the platters and the bowls, Rodney,” she suggested and Rodney followed her into the kitchen, glad to have a distraction. He didn't feel really hungry, his stomach turning into a tight knot by the thought of what he had to do after dinner, but the smell wafting through the warm air in the kitchen was tempting and the low growl of his organ made the blonde doctor snicker.

“I'm happy that your appetite is still there, you've lost weight, Rodney. Not that it wouldn't suit you, but, you weren't overweight before the last weeks and you really should be careful, starving yourself isn't a clever thing to do. Your genius needs to be fed properly to stay genius.”

Rodney could hear the genuine concern in his friend's voice and he placed a kiss on her cheek, taking the bowl with potatoes she handed to him. “Your delicious dinner will see to me gaining at least four pounds again tonight, Jen, don't worry,” he assured her, quickly stepping to the side when she tried to punch him. “Hey, be careful with the bowl, you don't want me to drop it, do you?”

He rushed out of the kitchen with the bowl, followed by Jennifer and her happy snicker. Maybe, this evening wouldn't turn out to be as awkward and uncomfortable as Rodney had feared, he only had to find a way to tell Katie and Jennifer about their counterparts without making a complete fool out of himself.

 

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“So what did we say to make you avoid us for so long, Rodney?” Katie asked after the first minutes of hungry silence when all the four of them had enjoyed the delicious meal Jennifer had cooked.

Rodney's fork slipped out of his hand with a loud clattering sound as it hit his plate.

“Uhm, nothing, Katie, neither of you said or did anything wrong,” he murmured, looking at John for help. He knew that he would have to explain his complicated relationship with the two women's counterparts, but John could at least explain who they were and what they were doing here in this reality.

His soul-mate pulled a face at him, wriggling his eyebrows to make Rodney start this talk, but when he felt the distress coming through the bond, he took pity on him and cleared his throat.

“It has nothing to do with you and Jennifer, Katie,” he said, looking back and forth between the brunette and the blonde gazing expectantly at him. “The truth is that we are not your John and Rodney. We come from another reality and stumbled into this one by accident, because Mer couldn't keep his fingers to himself and had to check a device of the Ancients he knew too little about.”

Rodney huffed an annoyed gasp, but John's expression told him that he'd better let his hazel-eyed mate go on after forcing him to explain the happenings to their friends. Their counterparts' friends. Rodney frowned, irritated, because he considered the Katie and Jennifer living here as true friends, even though their feelings might change after John's revelation.

Both women stared at John, taken aback, their food forgotten on their plates. They didn't question John's words, far too experienced to not believe him, but Rodney could see the thoughts racing behind their wrinkled foreheads as they tried to wrap their heads around the fact that they hadn't put two and two together after noticing John's and Rodney's odd behavior and realized what was going on.

“I see,” Jennifer finally said in a flat voice while Katie blinked, obviously fighting against some unexpected tears. “And where are our John and Rodney?”

John shot Rodney a quick sidelong glance. “They are most likely in our own reality. We have to wait for a special happening, a large eruption in the corona of this sun, to get back through the quantum mirror, and your real friends are stuck in our reality as long as we are stuck here. This happening will be in about two months from now on and we have to stay here for this time and try to fulfill the roles of your Rodney and John,” Rodney continued for him, biting nervously his lips.

He hadn't realized how much Katie and Jennifer already meant to him and he really didn't want to lose them and be forced to stay away from them as long as they would be here.

Katie wiped her eyes with an angry gesture. “And you didn't tell us before and stayed away because in your own reality, Jennifer and I are not your friends,” she said and her voice sounded deeply hurt.

Rodney felt horrible when he sensed her confusion and disappointment. “No, Katie, it's not like that. Elizabeth decided that it would be best if only she, Teyla, Ronon and Major Lorne knew about us, and Todd and Kenny. They noticed instantly that we were not who we seemed to be and therefore, we had to tell them. But, we talked again today, and Elizabeth finally agreed that you two should know where John and I come from, as well.” His attempt to soothe her earned him a weak smile, but, Katie still looked hurt while Jennifer pursed her lips, musingly.

“You didn't have to repair your bond, you had to form your bond, right?” she asked, watching John and Rodney attentively. John slowly nodded his head. “Yes, Jen. In our reality, something similar to your soul-bond doesn't exist. At least, we don't know about it. Plus, relationships between the same gender were forbidden in our military until recently.” The colonel unconsciously reached out to take Rodney's hand and smiled at him.

“Uh, wow, that's weird!” Katie exclaimed, distracted from her feelings by this statement. John snorted. “Ask us how weird it was for us to hear about your bonds.”

Jennifer nodded. “Yeah, I can see your point.” She chewed on her lip. “But, you are soul-mates now. Why did you do that when you have to stay here for only two months and these bonds don't exist in your universe? Won't you have trouble because of that after your return?”

Rodney sighed. “Most likely. We'll deal with that when it comes to that. It was my fault that we changed the realities with your real friends and the least we could do was to become soul-mates to fulfill our roles here. Elizabeth and Todd were searching for a planet where the Ancients could still live for a rather long time, and this planet is within reach only every five hundred years. This will happen in about one month, and we had to become mates before we'll go there. Todd said that the Ancients wouldn't want to talk to us if we're not bonded.”

“I see.” The blonde doctor nodded thoughtfully while Katie scowled at Rodney. “Don't say that you are not our true friends, Rodney!” she told him off. “You are our friends – at least I hope so,” she ended her sentence, uncertainly. John smiled warmly at her. “Of course, you are, Katie. It was hard for us to keep that from you, believe me.”

Katie smiled back. “I believe you. Was this the reason why you avoided us that much?”

Rodney felt a dark redness creeping into his face. “Not the only one,” he mumbled, fiddling with his napkin. John still held his other hand, his thumb stroking gently over his sweaty palm.

“Uhm since relationships between the same gender are oftentimes a problem in our reality and also not the rule, but the exception, men are normally married to women and...” his voice trailed off and Rodney stared at his plate, desperately searching for a way to let his confession sound less embarrassing as it actually was. The amusement and tender mockery surging through their bond didn't make it any better and easier for him. Rodney risked a glance at his soul-mate and John grinned at him.

The silence stretched between them and then, Jennifer asked. “Considering the redness of your face, I would say that you are married to one of us in your reality, Rodney?” Her voice sounded dry and only slightly amused and Rodney was grateful for that.

“Uhm, it is a little bit more complicated,” he murmured, gazing at the two women from underneath his eyelashes. “We were never married, but both of you were my fiancées for some time...”

Another heavy and stunned silence greeted his confession, Jennifer and Katie staring at him with their mouths hanging open before looking at each other and finally bursting out into uncontrolled laughter at the same time.

Rodney watched the blonde and the brunette doubling over, blindly feeling for each other's arms for support and he was torn between utter relief and serious annoyance as he watched them shedding tears of laughter and trying to catch their breaths again in between their roars of laughter.

“I am glad that the two of you find that this funny!” he snapped, pulling his hand out of John's grip because John hadn't been able to hold back his own laughter after Katie's and Jennifer's burst out.

Jennifer became serious again when she saw his insulted expression. “I am sorry, Rodney, but, this was truly unexpected. You must understand how that sounded to us.”

Rodney turned his head away. “Oh, I do. But, believe me, it is not half as funny as it looks like. My breakup with my Katie was a rather long time ago, but Jennifer and I broke up the day before John and I came here and it is still fresh and even though I now know that it probably was for the better, but, it still hurts and...”

John pulled him in his arm and Rodney gladly laid his head upon his shoulder, comforted by the surge of apologetic tenderness floating through their bond. “I'm sorry, Mer,” the colonel whispered into his ear, kissing his temple. Rodney closed his eyes, craving to confess his love to him and to hear John saying those important three little words to him in return. But, this would never happen, because John didn't really love him, all he felt for him was just because of the soul-bond he had been forced into by the circumstances and so he swallowed his own confession unsaid.

Katie circled the table and knelt down beside his chair, taking his other hand. To most people, the botanist seemed to be clumsy and oblivious when it came to such things, but when she smiled at him, Rodney could see that she had realized the reason for him avoiding his two friends for so long.

“This must be all new to you and you thought it better to stay away because you feared that us being around you could tear open hardly healed wounds, Rodney, didn't you?”

Rodney nodded. “Todd told me about the increased sense of smell and John wasn't pleased when I smelled of him because Todd had given me a massage for my back, wearing gloves as he did so. Knowing that John of course knew about my relationships with your counterparts, I was afraid how he would react if I smelled of you, and I couldn't tell you and so...”

Katie squeezed his hand. “We understand your dilemma, Rodney.” she said softly, looking up at John who had wrapped his arm possessively around his genius.

“We won't touch you in the future if it makes you feel uncomfortable, Rodney. But please, don't stay away from us. We are your friends and we care about you, no matter which reality you come from, you are John and Rodney for us.”

John cleared his throat. “You are our friends, too, Katie,” he assured her. “You don't need to keep your distance, Rodney did it only because I had a hard time handling this bond. Behaving differently from usual would only arouse suspicions and I don't want him having to think about every little thing he does. But, don't talk to anybody, please. It wouldn't be good if the other inhabitants learned about who we actually are.”

Katie rose to her feet. “Of course not, John. Your secret is safe with us. What do you think about having dessert now after this talk? I think I could do with some delicious ice cream and a very strong espresso.”

Rodney and John groaned at the same time. “This sounds too tempting to say no to it!” they agreed eagerly and Jennifer and Katie snickered. “You may not have been soul-mates before, but watching you and knowing our John and Rod, I can tell you that you are meant to be together, in whatever reality the two of you might live!” Jennifer stated as she got up to clean the table and see to the promised ice cream and espresso.

Rodney felt a warm and tender pull at their bond and when he turned his head on John's shoulder to look him in the eyes, they were dark with emotions that were only partly sexual desire. Rodney's eyes fell shut as his soul-mate closed the distance between their mouths to kiss him, and he returned the kiss with all the love he felt and couldn't say out loud.

Maybe, Jennifer was right and John and he truly belonged together, maybe, they could stay soul-mates and lovers even after their return.

After all, hope is the last thing to die and Rodney had never been a man to give up hope that quickly.


	19. A Very Special First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rodney and John have had dinner with Katie and Jennifer, and Rodney confessed his relationships with their counterparts in his own reality to them. After this evening, Rodney needs some comfort and distraction, and John has the perfect idea to relax him and make him forget the awkward happenings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed a rather long time to find my way back to this fandom, and I thought that updating this story would be a good start. I'm not that sure about this chapter, though, and I don't know if there is still anyone interested in Rodney's and John's adventures in this reality, so please let me know if this is the case, I really need your feedback, and me continuing with this story will probably depend on it.

Rodney heaved a relieved sigh when the door of their quarters closed behind them. As much as he liked the Katie and Jennifer of this universe, and as glad as he was that both women finally knew about their secret, but the evening had left him drained and with a bad headache hammering behind his forehead. He did understand their first reaction, but Katie's and Jennifer's laughter had hurt him more than he had realized before, and having to hide his true feelings from John exhausted him. It was so difficult to act as if his desire and his emotions for the hazel-eyed colonel were only a result of their soul-bond, and he feared to reveal the truth by accident. This fear forced him to stay cautious and careful the entire time, never daring to let his guard slip, and Rodney was tired of that and didn't know for how much longer he could deceive John.

All he craved for were some hours of undisturbed sleep and forgetting, and he slumped down on their comfortable couch with a suppressed groan and closed eyes, rubbing his temples to ease the pain a little bit. After a couple of seconds, the blue-eyed scientist realized that sleep would most likely flee him like it always was when he was that upset, and he opened his eyes again and bent forward to grab his laptop and work a little bit. There were still a lot of things to do before they could go on their mission, and Rodney was really not in the mood to deal with his annoying soul-mate at the moment. He felt the other man's gaze upon him, the colonel leaning against the closed door of their quarters and watching him silently as he waited for the screen to light up.

John's feelings surging through their bond were a mixture of amusement, confusion and desire, but Rodney ignored the latter as best as he could, even though his traitorous body of course reacted to John's lust. He knew that his own desire he couldn't hide from the hazel-eyed colonel because of this damn bond betrayed him, floating through their link in response to John's arousal, but he stubbornly kept his eyes on his laptop, not willing to make it easy for the man who seemed to have become his destiny a long time before they had stumbled into this reality.

The couch shifting under his backside told him that John had sat down beside him, but he resisted the urge to lean against him, still feeling hurt about John's reaction to his confession that he had been engaged to both of their own Katie and Jennifer. John sliding closer to him and wrapping his arm around his shoulder almost shyly made him finally turn his head ever so slightly to peer at him from the side, though.

His soul-mate gifted him with the crooked smile Rodney had never been able to resist.

“I'm sorry, Mer, I shouldn't have laughed. I can see why you really didn't find it funny,” the colonel apologized, sounding rather subdued. The strong possessiveness Rodney had felt through their bond over the last days had faded a little bit, and the scientist was grateful for that, because it had strained him more than he had realized until now that he had had to be considerate of John's feelings all of the time and not fuel his by the bond forced jealousy and sense of possessiveness on by accident.

It was one thing to hear someone saying that they were jealous or possessive but, a completely different thing to permanently feel these emotions through an invisible link pulling strongly at him every time he did something John didn't like.

“Yes, you shouldn't have,” he agreed, not in the mood to make it easier for John. He was too tired to control the emotions he sent in his mate's direction through their connection, and he knew that John could feel his confusion, hurt and anger. John pressed a soft kiss on the spot where his headache was throbbing behind his temple, proving to him that he was able to decipher and detect the different sensations rather easily.

“Bad habit, I know. Every time I find myself in a situation like this and which I can't really handle, I'm trying to escape it by making stupid jokes and trying to laugh them away,” John mused, his fingers replacing his lips to gently massage Rodney's forehead.

Rodney decided that giving in a little bit and leaning against John's strong frame wouldn't be too much of a sign that everything was fine between them again, but he started typing on his keyboard again to show that his soul-mate would have to try harder to make it up with him again.

John watched him silently for a while, his fingertips pressing just the right spots where the pain was the worst.

Rodney suppressed a blissful moan, but John's soft chuckle proved to him that the colonel could sense his delight. This was so unfair. He was the genius of both of them, but John seemed to be much better in reading him than Rodney would ever be in reading John, and this had already been like this before they had become soul-mates.

“I could make up with you much better if you decided to put your laptop away,” his mate seductively purred close to his ear, his desire for him the strongest emotion floating through their bond now. Rodney's manhood of course decided to play along and raise its head with eager interest, and he pulled his computer closer to his groin to hide his more than obvious agreement to John's hoarse and so tempting suggestion.

“I have to work, we need to make sure that our mission will be a success!” he objected, and John chuckled again, seeing right through him. He let his hand snake itself into the small slit that was left between his laptop and his thigh to cup his erection over the garment of his trousers.

“You have to be well-rested and relaxed so you can concentrate on your work tomorrow again, when the others working with you will be awake and well-rested, too. As your soulmate who needs to make sure that you will get enough sleep, I consider it my duty to help you with that.” John started to nibble on Rodney's sensitive earlobe, and the blue-eyed scientist knew that he was lost. Yet, he pulled away a little bit to look at John with a raised eyebrow.

“I fail to see how you seducing me will provide me with the rest and sleep you've mentioned. The words rest or sleep doesn't imply such actions you have apparently in mind,” he remarked, dryly, which was pretty hard with his cheeky cock pressing greedily against the calloused hand kneading it that skillfully through the garment of his clothing.

Now, it was John's turn to quirk an eyebrow at him. “The answer is simple, Mer, probably too simple for such a genius mind as you actually are,” he teased back, his soft eyes taking the sharpness out of his words. “These 'actions' as you put it will help you to relax properly, and when you will finally be as relaxed as you should be to get the rest you clearly need that badly, you will surely sleep peacefully like a content baby or one of our green-skinned friends when they're hibernating.”

The last remark made Rodney pull a face, but he knew when he had lost the battle, and he was too tired and too aroused to object for longer against John's willingness to make up with him in the most pleasurable way only possible.

Rodney pursed his lips as if he had to think about John's offer, but it was impossible to fake reservations with such a raging hard-on and his own need and desire coursing through their link, and when John's satisfied and smug grin changed into a tender smile, he let his mate put the laptop back onto the coffee table and himself be pulled up and into John's arms. John kissed his temple and switched it off

Together, they made their way to the bedroom of their counterparts, which was their bedroom, now, and when John stopped in the doorway to kiss him passionately, he wrapped his arms tightly around his mate and returned the kiss with all the passion, longing and love he felt but didn't dare to speak out loud.

 

\---------------------------------------------------------

 

John had taken his time to undress Rodney, caressing each spot of warm skin he freed from the annoying garment with deft fingers and warm lips until his mate was trembling with the force of his desire. When Rodney had wanted to return the favor, lying naked on the bed with John kneeling over him, the colonel had shaken his head.

“No, Mer. Tonight, I am the one doing all the work while you will be the one enjoying the ride. I was serious when I said that I want you to get the rest you need. I don't want you to do anything straining.” His lips ghosted over Rodney's face to emphasize his words, and the blue-eyed scientist could see by the look in John's beautiful eyes – now almost black with his desire – that he wouldn't argue about that. “Are you sure, John?” he murmured, nonetheless, “I'm not _that_ tired any longer.”

“This is a good thing, because you'll be able to enjoy the ride even better then.” John shrugged out of his shirt and wriggled out of his tight trousers as he nibbled his way along Rodney's jawline, throwing them carelessly to the side. “They will crumple this way!” Rodney tried, desperately searching for a distraction from his suddenly overwhelming love and desire for the other man. He was so close to confessing his undying love to John that he could hardly breathe, and he closed his eyes as he struggled to keep the hot wave of longing and love at bay and not just send it through their bond and reveal his best kept secret to his mate with that.

John lifted his head up to consider him. “I have learned to iron my uniforms and my laundry a long time ago, even General Landry didn't find anything to criticize the last time I had to wear my gala uniform, so please don't worry about that, Mer. Can you focus on the really important things now?” The rightful indignity on his handsome features looked funny and was what Rodney needed to relax again, and he sighed gratefully as the tension left his muscles, although he somehow had the suspicion that his irritating soul-mate had done it on purpose, seeing through him once more and searching for a way to make him forget his worries.

“That depends on what kind of important things you have in mind,” he challenged John, pulling his head down for another kiss. His mate growled delightedly before pushing his tongue deep into Rodney's mouth and silencing him very effectively for several passionate minutes this way. Rodney closed his eyes again, but this time because of the pleasure surging through him. His hands started to roam over his mate's back to their own will, and Rodney enjoyed the shivers of lust he pulled from the hazel-eyed colonel with his caresses. He didn't try to control their kiss, only responded to it, and when they had to part for air again, all Rodney felt was desire and longing, his annoyance from earlier this evening all gone.

“I want you, John, I want you so!” he confessed hoarsely, earning another passionate kiss for that. John fumbled for the drawer of the nightstand where they kept the small bottle with the oil they would need for what both craved for so badly. Rodney tried to spread his legs to grant his mate better access, but the colonel shook his head. “Tonight, we will do it the other way around, Mer. It is about time for finally doing that, don't you think so?”

Rodney's jaw dropped in surprise, and John chuckled and gently pushed against his chin to close his mouth again. “Are you sure?” the blue-eyed scientist stammered, because he hadn't thought that John would ever want to bottom for him. In his dreams, it had always been only John taking him, and the prospect of having the hazel-eyed colonel like this for the first time made him swallow with both, anticipation and confusion. “I mean, you don't have to, you can do all the work the usual way as well!”

John became serious, gently kissing his cheek. “We are equals, Mer, of course I want to do that – want to feel you inside me. I never expected you to always let me top, I was only waiting for the right moment.”

“I see,” Rodney gasped out, “and the right moment is now?”

John chuckled again. “There could be no better moment than this one, don't you think so, Mer?”

 

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John had insisted on preparing himself, refusing to let his exhausted soul-mate do anything straining. Rodney was pretty sure that he wouldn't have found it very straining to do that for the hazel-eyed colonel, but John had silenced his protests with more ardent kisses, his fingers working himself open with hasty and single-minded dtermination, and before Rodney knew what was happening to him, his mate was slicking his throbbing member up and straddling him.

The blue-eyed scientist looked up at his soul-mate, meeting his heated, hazel-green gaze. John's desire swept through their link like waves of a stormy ocean breaking against the cliffs of an island or flames of a fire licking at the branches and twigs of dry trees and bushes. It fueled his own desire on, and Rodney swallowed against the lump in his throat the breathtaking sight of a naked and passionate John kneeling over him, ready to impale himself had formed there.

“Are you really sure that you want to do it this way?” he had to make sure one last time, and John's eyes darkened as he almost grimly nodded his head. “More than sure, Mer. Have never been surer about anything in my life.”

John positioned himself, his hands resting on Rodney's chest as he slowly moved downwards, sheathing Rodney's hard shaft in his tight and hot passage. His intense glance trapped Rodney's eyes, making it impossible for him to look away or close his eyes, even though his lids wanted to fall shut with the sensation of being buried so deep inside his mate for the first time.

Being so close to anyone this way for the first time.

Rodney had never done it this way around with another man before he had joined the Atlantis mission, and after meeting John, the mere thought of sleeping with any other man than him had been out of the question. Instead, Rodney had tried to flee from his love for the former major and now colonel, denying his feelings and seeking forgetting in Katie's arms at first and then, Jennifer's.

His hands came up to grab John's elbows, needing something to hold on to as he struggled to not blurt out his well-kept secret and confess his love to the other man – to his everything.

At first, John Sheppard had only been another soldier, an officer who seemed to despise scientists and civilians as much as Colonel Summer had despised them, but Rodney had soon realized that the major with the beautiful hazel eyes and the messy hair was different from every soldier he had ever met.

Then, John had become his team-leader, giving Rodney the chance to prove himself against all odds, trusting him with the lives of his team and his own one even when other people continued to tell him that he shouldn't do that and that Rodney would kill them one day. This was something no one else but John had ever done for him, and the major's and later colonel's trust had given Rodney wings and made him strive to always do more than his best even in the worst and most hopeless situations.

Major John Sheppard had been the first one giving Rodney the feeling that he finally belonged somewhere – finally really belonged to someone – anyone, and Rodney would go to hell and back for him – die for him - without hesitation for just one second.

After becoming his team-leader, the officer with the hazel-green eyes and the crooked grin had become his friend. Not just an acquaintance or some kind of buddy, but a real and true friend in every sense of the meaning.

A friend who risked his life for Rodney without having to even think about it as much as Rodney did that on a regular basis, a friend he felt comfortable with when they were talking and just rambling, but most important, a friend Rodney felt comfortable with when they just sat together without talking at all, the silence between them the good kind of silence. Rodney had never had someone he could simply be quiet with before John, he had always felt the need to fill the awkward silence with words, and he cherished these moments between John and him when they sat on their favorite peer, drinking beer and enjoying each other's company silently, hoarding them in his memory like a precious treasure.

Falling in love with John Sheppard had been the easiest and most natural thing to do.

Falling in love with John Sheppard had been the hardest and stupidest thing to do.

The easiest and most natural thing because of what they were: best friends, a real team, understanding each other blindly and without words, stranded in another galaxy millions of light-years away from their home and with only little chances to ever get back there. No one else could ever understand what they had been through, what they had experienced and what they had seen and been forced to do. John understood Rodney without him having to explain himself, and this kind of trust and understanding was what Rodney needed to be able to trust and love somebody. After what they had been through together, falling in love with John had simply been inevitable.

The hardest and stupidest thing because of what they were: best friends, a real team and – two men, one of them belonging to the military. Friends didn't fall in love with each other, and surely not when they had to work together that closely and with other team-members watching them with eagle eyes. No one with their common sense still intact would fall in love with their team-leader, an officer of the same gender of all people.

But genius and common sense oftentimes didn't go hand in hand, and Rodney had fallen in love with the one he shouldn't have fallen in love with at all, and the ache in his heart and soul about what could never be had become his well-known and constant companion over the months and years that had passed, until he couldn't remember how it had been without this pain in his chest right where his heart was beating anymore.

Then, they had stumbled into this strange reality. A reality in which couples consisted of two soul-mates of the same gender, and in which they had had to become soul-mates as well if they wanted to survive and ever find the way back to their own world.

Colonel John Sheppard had become Rodney's soul-mate, their bond initiated by their experiences in the pods the Ancients had built thousands of years ago for unknown reasons, forming the universe they lived in and creating something truly special and unique with that.

What the Ancients had done might not be as unique as Rodney had thought though, because as the blue-eyed scientist now looked up at John who was watching him silently and motionless after their first union, he realized that John had already been his soul-mate before they had come here.

John was his soul-mate not because of a strange pod of another race that tied two beings together by high technology, but because of what they had shared and gone through together in their own reality, their bond having been formed a rather long time ago, strong and unbreakable because of what they were for each other – had always been for each other even before being pulled into this universe.

Maybe, fate had simply decided to fix things properly and make them realize what they were by shoving them into this reality, Rodney thought as he returned John's gaze, welcoming the emotions he could feel through their bond and finally letting his own feelings flow freely and without trying to suppress them.

“Mer?” John's hoarse voice broke the silence between them. The colonel still didn't move, patiently waiting for him to come to terms with his feelings, his gaze attentive and tender.

Rodney smiled at him, losing his grip around John's elbow to caress his face. He didn't know whether or not John had come to the same conclusion about their bond, but it wasn't really important in this moment. The only thing that mattered to Rodney was that their soul-bond had already existed before they had come here, and that they were together now, sharing an intimacy Rodney had always longed for without really knowing it. With John by his side, he would always be fine, Rodney was sure about that.

Rodney smiled at John, wriggling his eyebrows. “You promised me to relax me, Sheppard, don't you remember? How about keeping your promise and starting with 'doing all the work'?”

John stared down at him with a frown of irritation because he obviously hadn't expected such cheekiness but then, he gifted his soul-mate with his irresistible crooked grin. “Your wish is my command, Mer,” he purred, bending down to capture Rodney's lips in a passionate kiss while eventually starting to move.

 

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Rodney loved feeling John deep inside him, but he had to admit that he loved taking him like this just as much, John moving above him with his gorgeous cock bouncing up and down in time to his movements arousing him more than he had thought it possible. His sometimes pretty annoying but always astonishing soul-mate kept his eyes fixed on Rodney's face the entire time, the hazel color darkened to almost black with his arousal. John's handsome, male features were suffused with his lust, and he didn't try to hide it from Rodney but let his desire display on his face to show him how much pleasure he drew out of their lovemaking. Rodney wouldn't have needed this proof because he could feel John's pleasure through their bond, but he was grateful that John let him see his desire and arousal that clearly nonetheless, even more because he knew that his own face always reflected his own emotions, being some kind of open book for the colonel most of the times.

Their moans and gasps filled the air of the otherwise silent bedroom, and Rodney's entire body felt like burning with the need to come, but he held back as good as he could, wanting to enjoy being so close to the man who had trapped his heart as long as only possible. John obviously tried to do the same, because his walls clenched almost frantically around Rodney's throbbing member, and his cock was glistening with the wetness of his overwhelming desire.

The scientist loosened the grip of his right hand around John's elbow to wrap it around his hard length, unable to resist the urge to touch it any longer. “Oh, Mer!” John ground out, his eyes darkening even more if that was possible. The sudden rush of excitement surging through their link when Rodney now started to jerk John off pulled an ardent moan from him and Rodney bucked his hips up in desperate need. His head was spinning with lust and his world shrank to the bed as they chased their height, both men far too gone to be able to draw this out for much longer.

John succumbed to his climax at first, going rigid above his mate for the blink of an eye before spurting his release all over Rodney's fingers massaging him fast and hard. The spasms of his forceful orgasm pulled Rodney's climax from him and he followed the colonel over the edge, their eyes still locked as they shuddered through their ecstasy together.

Rodney lost himself in John's gaze and he forgot about everything except for the one who made him feel whole and complete in a way he had never felt before he had met John Sheppard. John was his love and his world, and Rodney could see that in this special moment, it was the same for his mate. John might not love him like Rodney loved him, his desire and passion for Rodney the result of the technology of the Ancients, but they were real, nevertheless, floating through their bond and filling every cell of Rodney's mind and body with warmth and happiness.

Time stood still and stretched to an eternity, and when it was over, Rodney just lay there, heavy and drowsy with pleasant exhaustion, his eyelids dropping with the overwhelming need for sleep. The blue-eyed scientist made a soft sound of protest when John moved away from him, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes again, letting his mate clean him up and take him in his arms as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

Rodney snuggled contentedly against John's slim but strong frame, inhaling his wonderful scent and dwelling in the protective warmth of his arms as he allowed his body to relax and melt against the other man, and John's tenderly whispered “sleep well, Mer, I'll be there to hold you,” followed him in his sated slumber and his pleasant dreams.


End file.
